Disclaimer with the Italian. Please correct me if I did anything awkwardly, Doc, and I'll be very grateful.
"So, Mister Jarvis, what exactly are you planning?"
Vincente Jarvis clasped his hands together and placed them on top of the table. Sitting across him was a rotund man in a very formal suit, with two surly bodyguards standing behind them. With a small, albeit rather reluctant smile, he made his offer:
"Don Donato," Vincente made sure to look at the older man's eyes, a sign of his trust, "I believe you can help me find this thief."
Don Donato Domenicano made a short, guttural laugh. "And what makes you think I can do that, Mister Jarvis?"
"Aside from your extensive connexions around the globe, not much, actually." Don Don Dom straightened up at his seat, and Vincente carried on. "Which is something, because I know that the two boys sitting in the restaurant across the street are brothers, that the elder had a wasting disease, and that the younger is a guitarist. I know that your daughter has a pony horse you bought for an outrageous sum. In fact, I know that the bodyguard on your left is Mickey Falcone, while the other bodyguard served in the military in the past but has also served prison time afterwards."
For a few seconds, there was nothing. Then, Don Don Dom made a low chuckle and a slow applause. "Incredibile!"
"Molto facile," Vincente shrugged his shoulders, appearing none the more interested in his exposition than a calculus professor would have with addition and subtraction. "È semplicissimo."
Don Don Dom laughed, more heartily this time. The two henchmen behind him started joining in the laughter, but an ahem from the don silenced them very effectively (Vincente suspected Art would have envied that ability). At last, the mafia boss made a few nods.
"All right, Mister Jarvis, you look trustworthy enough. I'll help you find the rogue who stole the ring. Why'd you want such a little ring, anyway?"
"It's a family heirloom," Vincente offered as an explanation. In truth, it was a Windsor family heirloom, but the Don needn't know that. "You will be looking, by the by, for a relatively young man, about 5'3, cautious and pretty clever, Whitechapel native or at least have lived there for a long time."
Don Don Dom looked ready to laugh again. "Be careful, Sherlock Holmes. You do not want to uncover too many things here in our business."
"I assure you, Don Donato, that as long as you keep your end of the deal, I shall find it very difficult to see anything in your business."
Vinny seems pretty talented in this mafia thing, eh? If he had been a criminal...
Glossary of La Reinaisms
Aheheh: onomatopoeia for a chuckle, esp. a mischievous one
Hurm: onomatopoeia for thinking; a standard reply when all else fails
Spam: an all-purpose word