"Is it hypocritical of me to go out drinking to celebrate finishing my paper on the effects of alcohol on brain development?" Maya mused, a slight giggle the only sign that she was not completely sober.
"Yes. You wan' another drink?" If Caleb's slurring didn't betray how intoxicated he was, the way in which he was unabashedly admiring the way that Maya's deep green dress looked against her pale skin certainly did.
"That would be lovely, Caleb!" she said, giggling again.
They seemed unaware of the stares of their friends. Veronica shook her head with a sly smile and swirled the contents of her glass. "Roman, do you wanna sleep on my couch tonight?"
"Why'd I wanna do that?" He took the last sip of his drink, and stared intently at his empty glass, Veronica's question forgotten.
She opened her mouth to reply, but could not say anything before a new burst of giggles from Maya drew the attention of her companions. Maya was grinning coyly at Caleb, teasingly holding a martini glass between them. "Really, Caleb, I can't believe I didn't realize you could be so charming!"
"Get a room, guys," Veronica muttered. Caleb and Maya didn't seem to hear her, but Roman laughed a little too loudly and Spencer frowned.
"Veronica, I want them to give in to their feelings as much as you do, but don't you think they should at least be sober?"
"Spoilsport," she said with a gentle smile, then turned back to Caleb and Maya. Their drinks had been abandoned, and they were talking very quietly. Veronica nearly choked on her drink when Caleb put a hand over Maya's, but she and Spencer just looked at the pair with affectionate smiles when she recovered.
"Hey, Spencer, I kind of wan' another drink," Roman said, breaking their reverie. "What d'you think I should get?"
"You probably shouldn't have another drink, Roman. You're pretty drunk."
"No 'm not." He tried to lean nonchalantly against the bar, but misjudged his position and nearly fell off his stool. "Whoa! OK, maybe I am." Spencer pursed his lips, raised his eyebrows, and took a sip of his drink. "Spencer?"
"Is the reason you're not drunk that you're drinking juice?"
"I'm not drinking juice! It's a cocktail! And I'm pretty tipsy, actually."
"Why're you drinking a cocktail?"
"Because I like how it tastes? Why else?"
"Nothing. I'm not, like, trying to be stereotypical or anything--"
"Thank God for that."
"--But Morgan always liked to drink cocktails and it made me think of him."
"Him? I though Morgan was your ex-girlfriend."
"No, he's my ex-boyfriend. He's definitely a guy." Roman suddenly turned away from Spencer, his wide, dark eyes now fixed on Caleb and Maya as Caleb reached up to touch Maya's cheek. He sighed contentedly.
Spencer, meanwhile, stared off into space, his bright blue eyes wide with shock.
"Spencer, what's wrong?"
He turned his startled gaze to Veronica. "Roman has an ex-boyfriend."
"Wait, seriously?" Spencer nodded. Veronica looked at him sympathetically for a moment, then burst into excited, barely-coherent chatter. "Oh my God, Spencer! That's so perfect for you! And don't try anything when he's drunk like this, but oh, my God! I thought you two would be perfect for each other, and this is just... Oh my God!"
"Veronica! Calm down!"
"You're right. Sorry. I'm just so happy!"
Spencer suddenly felt a pair of arms around his shoulders. "I really like you, Spencer. Have I ever told you that before?"
"Uh, Roman, you're drunk. We should probably get you home." Spencer felt his cheeks getting redder as Roman buried his face in his shoulder.
"Hey! Lovebirds!" Veronica shouted at Maya and Caleb. "We're leaving!" Maya and Caleb snapped apart, blushing vividly. Veronica giggled at their expressions.
"Yes, of course..."
"Probably a good idea..."
The bar was fortunately very close to their apartment building. Maya and Caleb walked in determined silence, keeping far apart and ignoring Veronica's significant glances and comments. Roman clung to Spencer for support until they reached the door of his and Caleb's apartment. Veronica and Maya politely bid the men goodbye, and as they walked down the hall to their apartment, the men heard Maya say, "I do not want to talk about it, Veronica!"
"I'm gonna go inside," Caleb said. "Roman, you should probably let go of Spencer soon." He put a hand to his temple and shuffled away to his room.
"Yeah, you really should, Roman. I need to get back to my apartment."
"Don't go!" Roman pulled back, eyes wide. "You should stay with me!" He ran his hands down Spencer's arms until he had caught up his hands, and started backing into the apartment."
"No!" Spencer pulled away, throwing his hands up to shoulder height. "I really can't... shouldn't..."
"Why not!?" Roman eyes still wide, and seemed to be brimming with tears.
Spencer swallowed slightly. "You're drunk. It wouldn't be..."
Roman sighed, casting his eyes down and pouting. "Fine. G'night, I guess."
"Good night, Roman."
Roman flashed Spencer a brief, shy smile before closing the door. Spencer walked back to his apartment in a daze. He was thankful that Jonas was not home, because he collapsed almost immediately on the couch, burying his face in his hands. He went to bed shortly afterward, and fell asleep with Roman's words running through his head.
There will actually be scenes like this in canon, but all of the events depicted here are purely non-canon.