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Subject: been thinking
Author: Mercy Joy   (Authenticated as Mercy Joy)
Date: April 14, 2012 at 3:55:47 PM
I have been thinking of my story.
Treznor is too old to be name that, so I think It's a silly name he choose himself., What is a good name for a him, if he was born in 1982....His parents are catholic, maybe a saint name?
Not sure if I keeping Tzar's Name which I think is his street name.
don't ask me why i just don't know why I give them weird nicknames.
Azdar I might keep that one cause he is kind of creepy villain
Anyway I decided to have two alternative endings because the first ending many people have told me that they got attached to Riley and didn't want him to be murdered by Azdar.(Didn't like the ending)
But It kind of makes the story longer because his friend Treznor tries to clear Tzar's name and help the police put Azdar to trial.
Has this happen to you when someone got attached to your characters and didn't like the ending? It probably won't get publish anyway and it's kind of more of a screenplay then a story. I just want to know how many endings or how many people should like the ending?
The other endings not sure if i should share? Would it help you understand the story better...thanks for reading..and help if you can....

here is some more snippets of writing

Riley carried himself with dignity.
He believed that Goths could become involved with others with the help of Jesus. And change the world for good.
Riley was not pleased with Azdar’s soulless mission. These new rights he was asking for would improve relations that would cause more unity between insiders and outsiders alike.
Azdar wanted goth to stay the same, he wanted to give privileges to the snobby elite.
Riley wasn’t impressed with Azdar’s divisionary vision.
Riley loved everyone, He didn’t enjoy Azdar’s .superiority complex. Although, Riley didn’t understand Azdar, He still respected him.

Oh go join a convent-Azdar would tell Riley

Riley would give upthe quest for only one small reason or one big reason.

Azdar was skilled and enticed others to join him for he was very persuasive.

Treznor: Riley’s smile forsakes all the evils in the world. Riley’s smile was never hidden by mean motives. Riley’s smile was pure. Pure happy go lucky or appreciative of many jokes. Riley’s smile was free and hopeful when he was making a point. His smile lessened when someone was feeling depressed or in pain.

Azdar tried to bring Riley down with disgrace- To confuse him with his mission.
Azdar;s Smear campaign was Riley’s public slaughterhouse.-The house of public where his reputation was shattered to pieces. All the years being strong , Riley in Azdar’s eyes will fall into oblivion an to be forgotten. Riley campaign will dissolve and goth would be once again his domain.

Notes
Treznor is originally red haired, but he dyed his hair bluish black in college and later he dyed his hair blond.

Riley is full of life
Riley: He who fights will be a day star.
It was nearly dawn, Riley biting back the cold weather with his enthusiasm.
For one who lives each day, Life is a bright light, It’s life, life as an artistic figure is increasing the gold within.-Riley is lively and vigorously screaming at the crowd. Later the sun started to shine.
Sweet children, this is an excellent sign, I would like to sing you a song of praise.
Riley: God is my rock, a brilliant shining rock, A very strong rock….


Later that day
Azdar: Riley, You were born to be this sick, I saw you on the news today.
Riley: Thank you for the punishment of an insult Azdar
Azdar: My pleasure
Azdar trembled , he would move one step forward and one step backward
Riley: You’re light is strong Azdar, if only you would help us instead of destroying us
Azdar: I don’t need to destroy your group, they’ll destroy themselves, you seem pretty ambitious Riley.
Riley: Precious and honest you are Azdar, but are you genuine enough to be a philosopher?
Azdar: I am beautiful enough, I don’t need a philosophy, I know you are wise and respected Riley, but you forget how the empty void grabs you, when the past robs and haunts you, you’ll succumb to the same fate.

The west wind blew all around them

Riley: I am treasured by god, he said out loud, but said to reassure himself.
Azdar: He who lives harnesses the cart of a lion
Riley: I wish for peace, I’m not a fighter
Azdar: Oh but you are, you fight everyday with yourself?
Riley: Your heart is clever Azdar, as Riley said as he turned to walk away…..
Riley called Azdar:
Azdar: Hello
Riley: It’s Riley
Azdar: Well ,well isn’t it the arch duke of goth?
Riley: Quit it, I am here to call a truce, you won, You can have goth.
Azdar Hehehe, haha, I knew you would break someday, and surrender the cause.
Riley: you are right, It wasn’t worth waging a war over, I thought we could cause a revolution but now I know, the world is fixed, people want divisions not unity…
Azdar: Riley, Bring yourself together, People want many things, some days they want divisions and some days they want unity. You don’t have to crack a tear for them.
Think of your daughter-Be there for her, before you know it the world will be kicking her around, My advice-teach her well, But don’t brainwash her, She’ll have her own causes to chase after.
Riley: Thanks, I guess we could be friends, if you want
Azdar: I got enough friends, but what the hell, I could use one more….
Treznor loved the outdoors.
Today he was walking Molly. Molly’s fur was fluffed up slightly and slightly matted. She chased a white feathered duck but stopped when it flew away.
Ark, Ark-Molly’s voice was a medium pitch that got louder when she started to dig.
Treznor loved watching Molly run and jump around.
Being in nature made both of them happy- Some thing about not being confined to his small apartment- Treznor thought…
Molly stopped digging and came over to Treznor on the park bench.
She nuzzled his hand with her nose. Her cute little ears up, her panting, softly, as she listened to the birds, Her colors were white and golden brown. Tresnor saved her from a shelter a year ago. She is the most faithful girl he’s ever lived with,, That was until he met Daisy.

Treznor and Riley watch the end of a football game
Treznor pulled a chair by Riley.
Hey, save me some popcorn-Treznor complained
Shhhhhh-Riley said, it’s almost the end.
Big burly men wore red, blue and white uniforms.
They huddled and did the hut 123 and they chased the other team’s head linebacker. Then the game mysteriously turned around. The referee told them they had a free kick and over the goal post it went.
Yes-Riley screamed yes, yes and jumped and spun around
Treznor watched in amazement. How come you get so excited about grown men, who kick balls over goal posts Riley?
I don’t know, I just do, because my team won, oh yeah….Riley said
Treznor looked at him as if he was crazy.
Back in the old days our people scoffed at jocks-Treznor whined.
Our people?- Riley Questioned, Aren’t we all people? Just because you had a negative experience with one group of jocks doesn’t make all jocks bad, Trez, be more open minded….
Ok, But I’m better than them, because I have hobbies, I read you know.-Treznor said arrogantly
Yeah Trez, don’t bitch at me if no one wants to hang out with you, You think you are better than others, How can you claim to be open minded? When you whine and attack people without getting to know them? Physical exercise is just as important as mental exercise. You’re not better, you’re just bitter and Riley left the room angrily…..

Confused why Riley was upset, Treznor started munching on the leftover popcorn feeling a little awkward and guilt for upsetting Riley.
Riley was his best friend and he was a good one too. Riley was always thought provoking and challenged him when he was wrong….

Freak!!!!-yelled some obnoxious strangers
Oh wow, They know a word, Hmm Me thinks This is troubling, We must find out who told them I was a freak, Now they know too much, I must follow them down the street-Treznor told Riley
And started following the obnoxious strangers.

Here Freak, Here Freak!!!!-Riley called to Treznor
And He ran after him and laughing inwardly.
Riley ran passed Treznor and came along side one of the group.
Riley told them-I heard you met my pet Freak, I am so glad you yelled his name, Cause I thought I had lost him forever, and Treznor galloped beside him and stuck his tongue out.


You people make us sick-said one of the strangers.
Oh Yes, As a matter of fact I am .I got a doctor’s note if you want to read it.-Riley told them
Piss off –Said one of the strangers, the stranger was getting annoyed, Go away.
Well Ok, but now you know how if feels to be on the other foot.-Riley told them.
You and your friends harass us, We are just returning the favor.

So what –said one of the strangers

We actually thought you were great, what movie was that that Freak?
The 24 hour movie.- I think-Treznor said tiredly


You were so good, we thought you made it cool to be the bad guy Or did you make the bad man cry? Oh well….


See ya later my sweets, Treznor blew them a kiss. As Treznor and Riley and left them alone. They walked to the left and across the street.

Man, I am so tired-Treznor reported , Acting is so hard….

You know this was totally rude of us—Riley told Treznor


I know –Treznor Said

If we keep it up we’ll be the bad guys-Riley told him

Aren’t we the bad guys to them anyway?-Treznor Asked

Probably—Riley said Sadly, but we shouldn’t be rude….

Yeah, But it’s so much fun-Treznor said with glee and we’re not hurting anyone….

You know being in groups, sure makes fools out of us., it’s true, We’re aren’t hurting anyone but we’re not helping anyone either.


tell me how i can improve on my writing....thanks, I know the story is kind of dumb.

This message was edited by the author on April 14, 2012 at 4:19:33 PM

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