|Author:||Rachael (Authenticated as stingraybunnyturtle7)|
|Date:||May 10, 2012 at 9:24:16 AM|
I wrote a first draft of Bogdan's e-mail to Nikolai for the book. I'm trying for passive-aggressive and sarcastic. What tone do you get? Any suggestions for improvement? Thank you!
Hi. How are you doing? It’s Bogdan. You remember me, right? Or has the big city made you forget about all the little people? You still a hacker? Fabulous. That’s absolutely fabulous. I bet you like fake passports still. No idea who the hell is looking for you, but safety is good. Absolutely great, really. How many do you have? Probably like five, right? Five, that’s a good approximation. I bet you travelled all across the world, huh? Or do you just have them to have to have them? That’s nice. You probably went to Paris and didn’t even bother to climb the Eiffel Tower. You just went there to go there. Did you go to America? Eat a breakfast buffet? Yes. No. You won’t eat anything other than your stupid pancakes. That’s f---ing hilarious, Nikolai. You just sit in your room and microwave your dumb little cheap microwavable pancakes. Do you think of us when you eat them? We all eat. Liliya’s always wanted to go to Disney. So nice of you to take her. The rest of us wouldn’t mind using your stolen money to go on a little trip. You don’t even like vacations, why use them?
No, no. I’m not asking for money, Nikolai. I wouldn’t do that. I’m a good friend. You wouldn’t know about that, though. Sorry for using words you can’t understand. Should I omit “friend” and “socialize” and “fun” from this letter? No? You can look them up? That’s great Nikolai! You can use Google! Nice job, gold star, sparkles and suffocation for you. I’m kidding, of course, Nikolai, you’re a great friend. You helped us all through tough times. Raisa had a boyfriend, two actually. Both of them were douches. Thanks for hacking into their computers and messing with them instead of random strangers who didn’t even do anything. That’s very nice of you. Thanks for helping Liliya with bullies. You’re such a good cousin. Not to mention I needed surgery last week. You didn’t come. Thanks.
Seriously, who’s your best friend? Me? Because I haven’t seen you in five years. Do you have any other friends? Of course you don’t. You just sit in your room, I bet. Hacking in to read a thirteen year old’s history paper. What a waste. Maybe I’m not your friend. Nice of you to visit Navloshnisk. We miss you, you know. You’re actually vaguely likeable, or you were. I’m really done with you. It’s almost been five whole years since it happened and you can’t talk to me about it? Really? Or Raisa? You can’t talk to Raisa? That’s stupid, you’re really stupid. And don’t give me that crap about how you’re smarter than me and Raisa and everyone else on the planet. I get it. You’re smart. So smart you don’t even realize what a waste your life is. You realize that, don’t you, Mr. Smart? Yeah, well, * you, Nikolai.
* you Nikolai.
This was Bogdan. And this is his preset signature. ENJOY!!!! :3
The * is a bad word. He doesn't swear unless he's very angry.(Which he is)
This message was edited by the author on May 10, 2012 at 11:55:20 AM
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