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Subject: Re: "What would you do if..." Character Survey
Author: La Reina   (Authenticated as La Reina)
Date: June 4, 2012 at 9:46:29 PM
Reply to: "What would you do if..." Character Survey by Rachael
Using my go-to guys for these things.

First off, what's your name?
Art Dyers.
Vincente Jarvis' the name, heh. Don't look at me like that.
Do you have to say that every single time? It's getting boring.
It's a catch phrase, Art. See if you can do better.

How old are you? (I'll assume the survey is taken at real-life today; their story starts at 2010ish)
Thirty-three, actually.
Going on twenty-seven.
Yes - what? I'm not a kid, I don't do those "going on" things any more! My birthday isn't even happening any time soon.

Describe yourself.
Just a normal guy, I guess? I live in my own flat, I teach English in a high school, I watch football on big matches... Everything normal except for the occasional "diversion".
And by "diversion", he means me. I'm everything he's not - sorry, Art. I am the anti-thesis of normal.
The self-proclaimed anti-thesis of normal, at least.
Yeah. I sell antiques on Portobello, collect Sherlock Holmes paraphernalia, occasionally investigate a little thing or two myself. Art's my Watson in that respect.
Oh, all right. Art's my Guillam.

Alright, what would you do if you saw someone drop a hundred dollar bill on the floor?
Call out to him and tell him he dropped something?
Nah, I'll scan the bloke and the money first. If it looks accidental, I'll take your route. If it looks intentional, I'll wait to see if anyone reacts in a certain way to it, or if anyone scoops it up. If not, I'll just ignore it and keep my eyes wide open.
You're a bit paranoid, aren't you?
Hyperactive imagination, maybe.
Hah. Sounds about right.

What would you do if there was a zombie apocalypse?
Bust out the chainsaws! Haha, no, not really. Most pragmatic plan would be to get a good vehicle and a good bunch of weapons, ranged and melee, and escape to where the zombies aren't around.
Yeah, but you drive. Give me a rifle with a scope and a lot of ammo, and I'll blow their brains out.
Cold sniper, Art Dyers! *laughs* Come to think about it, it suits you perfectly well. Who'd have guessed that the clerk-like English teacher Mr Dyers can stoically "blow their brains out"?
I just hope you're a good driver. *chuckles*

What would you do if you ruled the world?
Eh? Why would I want to rule the world? I guess if it's thrown in my lap, I'll just... I don't know, fix a couple of things here and there? What do politicians do, anyway?
Oh, the usual. Meetings in rooms. A little diplomacy, a little give and take, a promise here, an understanding there -
Why do I get the feeling you're quoting something again?
*grins* - And then they'll have to depose of the major threats while befriending and pulling the minor ones to their sides. There's also the matter of earning a reputation - most of the time, you want to be known as a clever, capable man, a bit of a miser perhaps, but respectable nonetheless. Bread and circuses, not essential, but useful in making the masses co-operative. While you must strive to be feared, you must take care not to he hated. Above all, you must be so essential so as to be indispensable, and provide stability for the people.
What have you been reading, Vincente? You're suddenly this political theorist, and yesterday you were still knee-deep in The Hound of the Baskervilles!
Oh, nothing much. *winks* Just some old treatise by some old Italian fellow that he wrote while on the wrong side of a government.
The Prince? You've been reading Machiavelli? Why on earth would you be reading Machiavelli?
Boredom goes a long way, Art. And you still haven't caught the first reference

What would you do if your best male friend said he was in love with you?
*both look at each other awkwardly, then burst into rapturous laughter*
Actually, it's a little plausible, isn't it?
Art! Silly blighter, you!
No, listen, I mean it's just... possible. You're kind of crazy most of the time. It's something you might suddenly do, and then in ten minutes' time it's all suddenly part of some vague big plan you never bothered disclosing, and I was just the pawn in your game.
Rest assured that I'll do my best to refrain from using that solution. *laughs again* But if you were to say you're in love with me -
- then I - *laughs* - then I'll probably go insane for real.

What would you do if your best female friend said she was in love with you?
That's a better question.
No, really, that's significantly less awkward and... crack fic-like. I think -
"Crack fic-like"? What's a crack fic?
Later, Vinny. Uh, I think I'll just be confused first, and then try to make heads or tails of the situation as soon as I can.
Me, I'll be pretty much as flustered no matter who it was who declares love to me. Exception for Art, of course, if he does it, I'll go mad at once and will probably be his slave for the rest of our lives -
*laughs* - and after all, my best female friend is married. And is Art's sister. I don't think we'll work out at all.

What would you do if you had to get married? Right now. To anyone you know.
*another moment of awkward grinning*
You know, I'd like to read the fine print. If it only wants us to get married for a little while, say, a day or so, and then we can do what-ever we want to...
*groans* No, no, no, you are not doing this!
Oh, come on, Art. It's the easiest solution. We can divorce the next day. Don't even need to invite anyone, just a little civil ceremony with the two of us and two witnesses -
But there has to be witnesses!
Let it be the local clergy then.
But you said it's a civil ceremony. There's no clergy in that.
You're thinking too much about it, Art. You really want it, don't you?

What would you do if you someone handed you a baby?
Oh, give it to Art, no doubt. He should know better than me.
What? Oh, come on, Vincente, you're really getting insane, you know? I'll just pass it on to Nina and Topher then - that's my sister and her husband. They should know better than me.
Vinny! Stop it! You're starting to freak me out!
*chuckles* Right, right. Sorry.

What would you do if you woke up to find a stranger in your house?
Where in the house? I mean, if they're on the bed sleeping next to me, I'll pretty much panic. If they're elsewhere, I'll find a handy phone and call the police.
I think I'll snatch a weapon of some sort. I do have a fireplace poker, amongst other things.

What would you do if you if you saw someone being mugged?
Yell. Really loudly. Just to attract everyone's attention to them. Or, again, call the police.
Rushing headlong like Leeroy Jenkins is not an option, unless I want to be a Leggy Gaskin. So I'll probably do what Art did and call the coppers. Or, if I'm feeling adventurous, bluff them into thinking I'm a copper from a distance.

What would you do if your best male friend asked you to rob a bank?
Art? Why would he want to rob a bank? Art as a cold sniper I can accept, Art as a bank robber I don't understand.
If you were to ask me to rob a bank, I'd think it was another of your weird hypothetical questions.

What would you do if your best female friend asked you to move in with them (if you live with them, use your second best female friend)?
Be very confused, remind her that she's got a room-mate already?
Ditto, with "husband" in place of "room-mate". Plus, I love my house too much to leave it.

What would you do if someone killed your best friend, and you knew who they were and where they are?
As much as I'd be furious, it's not my right to avenge him. So I'll -
- call the police.
Me, I think I would not have that clear a mind in face of that kind of thing. I guess I'll just go spare and go after them with persuasive words and a pointy stick. Especially if they killed you right in front of me, and there were no coppers around. Then I wouldn't just go spare, I'd really make sure none of them leaves the room alive.
Do I sense a bit of The Three Garridebs here?
That you did.
Because I'm starting to worry you meant it for real. You're so unusually monotone with that.
I did mean it for real.

What would you do if an alien asked you to help save their planet?
What alien, and what planet?
Refer them to the Men in Black?

What would you do if you were alive 100 years ago?
I'll be pretty old then. *chuckles* But, that would be 1912. Not too bad. I guess I'll try to talk to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and pretty much anyone else of note during that time. Bask in the glory of living in the old days. Face the mud and mire of living in those days, too.
I'll feel rather lost, I think. But mostly I think I'll just "invent" something modern to improve life and get a lot of money from the patent.
That's pretty clever, Art.
Thanks. I try.

How about 1,000 years ago?
At 1012? I don't remember what happens in those days. I'm an English teacher, not a historian!
Ha. Well, I'll probably go on a crusade - isn't that around the time of the first crusade, anyway? Richard the Lionheart, Saladin? Jerusalem, Masyaf, Hashashim, and all that jazz?
Vincente, I'm pretty sure you're thinking of a game there.

10,000 years ago?
We'll be cavemen!

What would you do if you found a magic genie lamp?
Rub it, ask how many wishes it's got for me, make a wish that it pledges itself to me for the rest of my life.
Cunning, that. Me, I think I'll just keep it and eventually lose it in my mountain of antiques. Maybe I'll even inadvertently sell it.

An omnivorous reader with a strangely retentive memory for trifles.

This message was edited by the author on June 4, 2012 at 9:49:04 PM

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