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Subject: Re: Critique my short story?
Author: Fiammetta   (Authenticated as lady murasaki)
Date: June 6, 2012 at 8:01:33 AM
Reply to: Critique my short story? by Rachael
I think you write well and have potential as a writer, but like RoxStar said, the characters are very flat and the plot's melodramatic. Personally, I have very low tolerance for stories built around a character's repeated traumas, they tend to not be believable and make it look like you're substituting stuff happening to a character to character development. By the time the girl was getting beaten by her mother I was ready to put my hands in my hair.

I don't think you have to trash it, you can use it as a first draft and see how you can develop the characters, and maybe choose a central theme and focus on that.

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