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Subject: Re: Critique my short story?
Author: pinkamena   (Authenticated as safetypins)
Date: June 8, 2012 at 12:43:13 PM
Reply to: Critique my short story? by Rachael
I think it has potential. Just by itself it reads like an off-hand story within a bigger story about something else to me, but I can't shake off the feeling of pretension I get considering it as a standalone piece. I'm not sympathetic towards the characters at all, and the stylistic repetition of "words that nobody reads" bothers me so.

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