I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, because that was not my intention. However, I wanted to be 100% honest with you because I think you are capable of doing better. It's clear you have a genuine love for writing and care about your characters a great deal, so try again. Get inside your characters' heads instead of throwing action at them, and write what you know. I know it's corny advice, but it works. Again, good luck with it all.
"An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way." -Charles Bukowski
"And by the way, dearie, your punctuation sucks canal water!" -The ghost of VivianVance