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It is halfway readable. It's clearly "halfway readable." This isn't bad at all, especially compared to some of the drivel people post on here and then get defensive about. To act otherwise is to be deliberately mean to an obviously sensitive kid. I don't see what you get out of taking two seconds to scoff so dismissively at a decent piece of writing the OP has obviously worked on pretty hard and put a lot of thought into. It would have been so easy to say something with the same message as what you posted without being hurtful.

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• The story: Death is Unpredictable (PREFACE AND CHAPTER ONE) - Alison  Sep 27 2012, 1:43:27 PM
  • Re: The story: Death is Unpredictable (PREFACE AND CHAPTER ONE) - Billina  Sep 28 2012, 2:37:53 PM
    • ditto about the physical descriptions... - RoxStar  Sep 28 2012, 3:10:37 PM
      • Re: ditto about the physical descriptions... - Alison  Sep 29 2012, 5:09:51 PM
      • Mitochondrial disease - MoonAgeDaydreamer  Sep 28 2012, 5:11:30 PM
      • Re: ditto about the physical descriptions... - Billina  Sep 28 2012, 3:38:46 PM
        • Re: ditto about the physical descriptions... - Alison  Sep 29 2012, 5:11:16 PM
          • Re: ditto about the physical descriptions... - Billina  Sep 29 2012, 6:01:53 PM
  • Re: The story: Death is Unpredictable (PREFACE AND CHAPTER ONE) - Ludwig  Sep 28 2012, 10:40:16 AM
  • you must not be all that torn up over the reaction to the last stories... - RoxStar  Sep 28 2012, 6:19:52 AM
    • Dude - Ludwig  Sep 28 2012, 10:11:30 AM