It is halfway readable. It's clearly "halfway readable." This isn't bad at all, especially compared to some of the drivel people post on here and then get defensive about. To act otherwise is to be deliberately mean to an obviously sensitive kid. I don't see what you get out of taking two seconds to scoff so dismissively at a decent piece of writing the OP has obviously worked on pretty hard and put a lot of thought into. It would have been so easy to say something with the same message as what you posted without being hurtful.