Especially the "liquid silver and gold" eyes.
Also, an African-American man is not very likely to have blue eyes.
Also, about Melody
's illness: is mitochondrial disease a real disease? If it is, better research it and make sure the symptoms match.
Also, where is Melody
's family while she's dying unbathed in grubby pajamas with only a boy her own age looking after her and not eating or sleeping? For that matter, why isn't she in a hospital? There might be good reasons for all this, but it seems we just jump right in and we need to know.