|Subject:||Re: The Purest Love (PREFACE, CHAPTER ONE, AND PART OF CHAPTER TWO)|
|Author:||Fiammetta (Authenticated as lady murasaki)|
|Date:||September 30, 2012 at 8:44:32 AM|
|Reply to:||The Purest Love (PREFACE, CHAPTER ONE, AND PART OF CHAPTER TWO) by Alison|
Well, at first I was intrigued because a story on the theme of incestuous love could be interesting, but then I was somewhat puzzled by how exactly and why Josh wants to reincarnate. It would be also be good to know the background on how they fell in love. Also, while overall this is ok stylewise, the first paragraph is schmalzy.
I always see the same problems on what you post: you seem to have good ideas to start with and certainly have potential, but then everything feels a bit random I really think it might make sense to make the effort to focus on one piece, perhaps plan beforehand what you want to do with it, write it, reread it and maybe make another draft.
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