|Subject:||I also suggest|
|Author:||klundtacular (Authenticated as klundtacular)|
|Date:||January 21, 2013 at 7:37:00 PM|
|Reply to:||Re: Too Much Dialogue? by Julia Elisabeth|
Showing other opinions. Maybe you don't agree with Kristina but it does come off as its your opinion too. Having Kristina think People stupid and superficial and making the judgment on teen parents and all that can be fine if you show other characters thinking differently. It adds dimension to you and to your characters.
Another suggestion is not having the description of each character: hair color, eye color, super hot. Maybe break that up so that Kristina mentions the hair someone tosses or pushes it out of the way then a paragraph or two later comment on the eyes.
~Raging and quivering female mass of hormones and tosser of Dark Side Cookies™ (trade marked by Etoile)
This message was edited by the author on January 21, 2013 at 10:04:14 PM
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