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HelpThoughts on a nickname for my still-regretful name choice....
For those of you following my story-or anyone new...
Well I've tried to rewarm to the name my husband and I agreed on almost 2 months ago for my baby (Rosalie)-but I just don't like it much anymore- my feelings seem to range between "kind of pretty but not what I wanted/nms" to "yuck". It now either sounds cutesie or dowdy/boring, just another Rose name, and I just don't see it as a sophisticated name as it ends in EE. I've never liked Rose or Rosa or Rosie-Rosalie somehow seemed different to me, but well, I am finding it's not different enough. My 6 y.o. son runs it together and it sounds like Rosie, and I am still plagued by people calling her Rosa-LEE, yuck (IMO). I am sorry I ever offered it up as a possibility. I've asked my husband (begged, really) to reconsider Thalia, also not my first choice but the only other name on which we had semi-agreed that met some of my criteria (unusual, kind of pretty, not too long, ends in A) and now he feels it is too much of a mouthful and doesn't like it. I've also tried to sell a myriad of names ending in A, (30-40 names) and he's still saying absolutely no change of her name, she is who she is,and is unwilling to discuss it AT ALL w/o anger-since in his mind we had an agreement-only giving me the option of a nickname (which I've never done before) or calling her by her middle name of Violet, which I like but seems a little too trendy ATM and I also feel like the t at the end lends to such a hard stop.
Since I like for names to end in a, I came up with the nickname Zalia yesterday(it would be pronounced Zail'-ya, like Azalea) would that work? (It is a derivative of Rosalia in a way, which is a name I don't care for as much as Rosalie-strangely). The stress is on a different syllable from Rosalie so it seems like a bit of a stretch-but it combined what I liked about Thalia with what I have to work with...I could entertain Zalia like ZALL-ya or even ZalEEah (I like ZAILya best though, esp with Violet). Again we won't be changing anything about her name legally per his insistence.
Would love thoughts on this - if seems credible/doable or just silly, etc. Right now I am just calling her the baby, or littlest, everyone else is still calling her Rosalie. TIA!
Well I've tried to rewarm to the name my husband and I agreed on almost 2 months ago for my baby (Rosalie)-but I just don't like it much anymore- my feelings seem to range between "kind of pretty but not what I wanted/nms" to "yuck". It now either sounds cutesie or dowdy/boring, just another Rose name, and I just don't see it as a sophisticated name as it ends in EE. I've never liked Rose or Rosa or Rosie-Rosalie somehow seemed different to me, but well, I am finding it's not different enough. My 6 y.o. son runs it together and it sounds like Rosie, and I am still plagued by people calling her Rosa-LEE, yuck (IMO). I am sorry I ever offered it up as a possibility. I've asked my husband (begged, really) to reconsider Thalia, also not my first choice but the only other name on which we had semi-agreed that met some of my criteria (unusual, kind of pretty, not too long, ends in A) and now he feels it is too much of a mouthful and doesn't like it. I've also tried to sell a myriad of names ending in A, (30-40 names) and he's still saying absolutely no change of her name, she is who she is,and is unwilling to discuss it AT ALL w/o anger-since in his mind we had an agreement-only giving me the option of a nickname (which I've never done before) or calling her by her middle name of Violet, which I like but seems a little too trendy ATM and I also feel like the t at the end lends to such a hard stop.
Since I like for names to end in a, I came up with the nickname Zalia yesterday(it would be pronounced Zail'-ya, like Azalea) would that work? (It is a derivative of Rosalia in a way, which is a name I don't care for as much as Rosalie-strangely). The stress is on a different syllable from Rosalie so it seems like a bit of a stretch-but it combined what I liked about Thalia with what I have to work with...I could entertain Zalia like ZALL-ya or even ZalEEah (I like ZAILya best though, esp with Violet). Again we won't be changing anything about her name legally per his insistence.
Would love thoughts on this - if seems credible/doable or just silly, etc. Right now I am just calling her the baby, or littlest, everyone else is still calling her Rosalie. TIA!
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 11:41 AM
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Replies
As far as I'm concerned, it sounds like you need to accept that Rosalie is her name and get on with loving your family! (Not that you aren't loving them, but it seems like dragging this on is only going to cause turmoil). You will love love love your daughter, regardless of whether you love her name. I wouldn't stress about a nickname. Something will come.
Zalia pronounced ZAILya doesn't seem to connect to Rosalie at all.
Some others to try out:
Ro
Ro-ro
Rovio - my favourite
RV (ha, maybe not)
R
Rosa
Rosie
Salie
Li
Lili
Osa
Rolie
Ollie
Osie
Anything?
Zalia pronounced ZAILya doesn't seem to connect to Rosalie at all.
Some others to try out:
Ro
Ro-ro
Rovio - my favourite
RV (ha, maybe not)
R
Rosa
Rosie
Salie
Li
Lili
Osa
Rolie
Ollie
Osie
Anything?
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Hi there,
Thank you for the kind, non-judmental but solid opinion and post, and I am beginning to accept your POV.
Ro is out b/c my 3 y.o. niece goes by that-and sadly, I don't care for Rosa or Rosie--but I do like Lili, had not thought of that one.
I'm really having a tough time coming to terms with her name being set in stone, but the longer it goes unchanged (as it has and will per my husband) the more I am having to accept it. I have had many a dream about reverting to Thalia, though it helped to hear my sister who is visiting say that she thought Rosalie a far prettier choice-the name still just doesn't feel right, and rather, feels wrong to me most of the time. I do try to spend lots of time just cuddling her when she is awake.
I had been occasionally referring to her as Teenie but my sister related a story today about a little girl whom her siblings called Minnie b/c they couldn't pronounce her name, and it stuck and now the child is all grown up and goes by Minnie, so maybe Teenie isn't a good idea. In fact, it took mr a while to shed my own nickname which was similarly diminutive.
I like the Salie idea, prn. the french way that I think Bear pointed out, Zelie-but will apparently have to give up on anything ending in A. My mother is calling her by both names b/c she loves it so much, and although a bit over-the-top, the full 5 syllables has been growing on me (i.e. calling her Rosalie Violet).
Rovio is awfully cute but all I can think of is angry birds-as I think Rovio is the name of the company that produces it, lol.
I am sure this too shall pass, I AM thrilled to have her here in my arms, and will try to find a way out of this spiral of name ruminations. Thank you for all of your thoughts and ideas!
Thank you for the kind, non-judmental but solid opinion and post, and I am beginning to accept your POV.
Ro is out b/c my 3 y.o. niece goes by that-and sadly, I don't care for Rosa or Rosie--but I do like Lili, had not thought of that one.
I'm really having a tough time coming to terms with her name being set in stone, but the longer it goes unchanged (as it has and will per my husband) the more I am having to accept it. I have had many a dream about reverting to Thalia, though it helped to hear my sister who is visiting say that she thought Rosalie a far prettier choice-the name still just doesn't feel right, and rather, feels wrong to me most of the time. I do try to spend lots of time just cuddling her when she is awake.
I had been occasionally referring to her as Teenie but my sister related a story today about a little girl whom her siblings called Minnie b/c they couldn't pronounce her name, and it stuck and now the child is all grown up and goes by Minnie, so maybe Teenie isn't a good idea. In fact, it took mr a while to shed my own nickname which was similarly diminutive.
I like the Salie idea, prn. the french way that I think Bear pointed out, Zelie-but will apparently have to give up on anything ending in A. My mother is calling her by both names b/c she loves it so much, and although a bit over-the-top, the full 5 syllables has been growing on me (i.e. calling her Rosalie Violet).
Rovio is awfully cute but all I can think of is angry birds-as I think Rovio is the name of the company that produces it, lol.
I am sure this too shall pass, I AM thrilled to have her here in my arms, and will try to find a way out of this spiral of name ruminations. Thank you for all of your thoughts and ideas!
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I don't think you should change her name, but I understand why you want to find a nickname you like. What about Rovy (RO-vee) or Rova?
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Rova-interesting but it does sound a bit like Rover pronounced w/ a Boston accent. Rovee might be cute except for it makes me think of "Roe V. Wade." It's hard to find something that works. I appreciate the ideas!
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Definitely sounds like a difficult situation. But I don't really "get" most of this. If you weren't totally set on it, I don't understand agreeing on it to begin with. Also, if Thalia isn't your top pick, then I wouldn't even suggest it. You haven't said what your top choice is, either. (But it sounds like your husband didn't care for it, if all you could semi-agree on would be Thalia and Rosalie.)
I can understand your husband's frustration, and yours. However, "she is who she is" doesn't seem to fit since you haven't met her yet.
At any rate, I really like the nickname Ro.
I can understand your husband's frustration, and yours. However, "she is who she is" doesn't seem to fit since you haven't met her yet.
At any rate, I really like the nickname Ro.
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Hi AnaNicole, I wasn't sold on either name but liked them both enough to include them on the list, I'd guess they came after maybe 12-15 other preferred names which he didn't like for varying reasons (no kidding). I mentioned my top choices in another older post, but since he vetoed all of them it's a moot point. They all ended in A. And you know, I wouldn't mind Ro but that is what they call my niece Rowan, so it's not an option.
I think I AM angry with him for the way this whole thing was handled, so maybe mirfak and others are right that I was subconsciously (or consciously) going to let this grow into something ugly when I felt like the whole naming process was such an undesirable mess-for instance, he would never discuss names with me until the month the child was due, he wouldn't tell me WHY he didn't like a name (it was like pulling teeth) and he never offered up any alternatives despite repeated requests.
When we were standing at the records desk 12 hours after she was born, because I just wanted to leave the hospital and get home to my other kids, and I mentioned that I was deciding between the two names, and the secretary thought Thalia sounded like "failure", that tipped me over the edge. As I mentioned to Lily, my husband then pressured me not to wait the two extra weeks we could have and just fill the form out now, so we didn't have to go back in traffic, etc. just to fill in her name.
Looking back at my old posts and ruminations, I had a slight preference for Thalia, but neither of them was my top choice (I am sure others have dealt with this with their spouses.) Then when the compound name thing popped up over the course of several weeks it turned me off to Rosalie-so that all I was hearing in my head was Rosa Lee, and however subtle the difference it has just turned me off to the name. So now I am only left with Violet, which is nice and may be "it"-even if it is getting popular, or a made-up name deriving from what she has been given that ends in A, which was what I was hoping for all along (the ends-in-A part).
Hope that makes more sense.
I think I AM angry with him for the way this whole thing was handled, so maybe mirfak and others are right that I was subconsciously (or consciously) going to let this grow into something ugly when I felt like the whole naming process was such an undesirable mess-for instance, he would never discuss names with me until the month the child was due, he wouldn't tell me WHY he didn't like a name (it was like pulling teeth) and he never offered up any alternatives despite repeated requests.
When we were standing at the records desk 12 hours after she was born, because I just wanted to leave the hospital and get home to my other kids, and I mentioned that I was deciding between the two names, and the secretary thought Thalia sounded like "failure", that tipped me over the edge. As I mentioned to Lily, my husband then pressured me not to wait the two extra weeks we could have and just fill the form out now, so we didn't have to go back in traffic, etc. just to fill in her name.
Looking back at my old posts and ruminations, I had a slight preference for Thalia, but neither of them was my top choice (I am sure others have dealt with this with their spouses.) Then when the compound name thing popped up over the course of several weeks it turned me off to Rosalie-so that all I was hearing in my head was Rosa Lee, and however subtle the difference it has just turned me off to the name. So now I am only left with Violet, which is nice and may be "it"-even if it is getting popular, or a made-up name deriving from what she has been given that ends in A, which was what I was hoping for all along (the ends-in-A part).
Hope that makes more sense.
This message was edited 4/11/2012, 9:40 AM
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I think that you should forget about this.
When I first told my mother that I planned to name my baby, if a girl, Victoria, she stood there for a minute, saying, "Victoria" over and over again, while making a face and sticking her tongue out.
I laughed and said, "If it's a girl and I name her Victoria, you'll say you like it." She said, "Yes, I will, because I will like it then because it will be your baby's name."
When I first heard that my grandson's name was going to be Leonidas, I was inwardly appalled. I admit, I had never heard the name before (which fact I think precludes me from being a true namenerd) and it struck me as unbearably strange. After he was born, within a few months, I began to like the name and began to see it as my daughter does, "strong yet beautiful." But you know what? I think I mainly like it because it's my beloved grandson's name.
Why can't this happen to you? I think it can. Give it a little more time.
When I first told my mother that I planned to name my baby, if a girl, Victoria, she stood there for a minute, saying, "Victoria" over and over again, while making a face and sticking her tongue out.
I laughed and said, "If it's a girl and I name her Victoria, you'll say you like it." She said, "Yes, I will, because I will like it then because it will be your baby's name."
When I first heard that my grandson's name was going to be Leonidas, I was inwardly appalled. I admit, I had never heard the name before (which fact I think precludes me from being a true namenerd) and it struck me as unbearably strange. After he was born, within a few months, I began to like the name and began to see it as my daughter does, "strong yet beautiful." But you know what? I think I mainly like it because it's my beloved grandson's name.
Why can't this happen to you? I think it can. Give it a little more time.
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Agree with you.My own daughter's name is Carol, her Father's choice. though I like it too. For whatever reason, it was common in my (French-speaking) community about the time of her birth, that's why my husband heard of it, I suppose, he's not English speaking.
Some find it common or outmoded, but for me, it just glows, because it's my dear daughter's name.
(Her middle name is, in fact, Victoria;it was my husband's mother's name.My mother-in-law, of course, but I never knew her, she died young.)
Some find it common or outmoded, but for me, it just glows, because it's my dear daughter's name.
(Her middle name is, in fact, Victoria;it was my husband's mother's name.My mother-in-law, of course, but I never knew her, she died young.)
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hi QueenV,
I felt that way about my own son's name when I knew my mother didn't like it. I named him Felix despite her pronounced loathing of the name, and trusted he would grow into it for her, even though she had different/negative associations at the time. She's OK with his name now, and I have always been happy I stuck to my guns.
This seems different to me since it is my child, not grandchild, whom I agree I would have no say in liking/disliking/changing. but I understand that I'll need to move on, or find a solution that is more palatable that reflects her given names if he is unwilling to change it.
I felt that way about my own son's name when I knew my mother didn't like it. I named him Felix despite her pronounced loathing of the name, and trusted he would grow into it for her, even though she had different/negative associations at the time. She's OK with his name now, and I have always been happy I stuck to my guns.
This seems different to me since it is my child, not grandchild, whom I agree I would have no say in liking/disliking/changing. but I understand that I'll need to move on, or find a solution that is more palatable that reflects her given names if he is unwilling to change it.
This message was edited 4/11/2012, 7:54 AM
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Zal-ee-ah is kinda cool... If the a ending weren't so important, she could go by Vi (for Violet). Thought of Zal, Sal, Sally... Lee... Lee Vi :-P (end of fn and beginning of mn)... Could add an a to Vi and prn. it vee-ah, but Via's the name of the passenger train company in Canada. Have to admit I kinda like Rosa. Could play around w/ nns and see what she seems to respond to... Sometimes older sibs come up w/ nns and they stick.
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Thank you for your opinions! I came up with Levi too, (not wanting too go there) lol! Maybe the siblins will come up with something.
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Hi- I did consider Rosaline w/ a long I but b/c my name ens in -ine it seemed too matchy-I do find it intriguing though. Pronounced as Rosaleen is interesting, per the "Dark Rosaleen" reference and as someone mentioned, but not sure how I feel about the -een either, thank you for the ideas though!
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You're welcome. Good luck with your decision. :)
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*sigh*
I think you should stick with Rosalie. Zalia sounds like a new sleep medication that just came out on the market and will be recalled in six months.
I don't know...it seems to me like you are trying to find things to dislike about the chosen name, and it's not getting you anywhere. I don't blame your husband for being annoyed, because I would be, too.
I think you should stick with Rosalie. Zalia sounds like a new sleep medication that just came out on the market and will be recalled in six months.
I don't know...it seems to me like you are trying to find things to dislike about the chosen name, and it's not getting you anywhere. I don't blame your husband for being annoyed, because I would be, too.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:43 PM
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Maybe he has found a new wife then, lol! I may be looking for things to be annoyed by, but honestly, I think it is the mutilation of the stress on the "lee" sound in the name and my southern origins that is putting me off-(and my inability to correct people without sounding like a witch) so I've lost a lot of my like for the name by having this newly established association of a compound name foisted upon it.
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I don't know many people who pronounce it rosa-LEE, but we probably live in different regions. If it were me, I'd keep her name on the birth certificate and just call her Rose, but you aren't me, so do whatever YOU think is best.
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Me neither-I didn't even know the name much, knew one older lady named that. I am truly surprised at how people are saying it, I am in the northeast, but from the south, and am getting it pronounced with said emphasis by maybe 1 out of 3 people. Even my good friend who hails from the midwest said that and also spells it Rosalee, (even though I've written it to her in its correct form/corrected her). Don't get me wrong, there ARE people who are saying it with the emphasis on the preferred/accurate syllable. Either way, I'll need to find a way to live with the name, either by letting it roll off my shoulders (at which I am clearly failing ATM) or find a solution with a nickname.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 6:36 PM
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My name is Rachael, pronounced like Rachel. There are a lot of people who pronounce it Rochelle, but I simply correct them. It's one of those things a lot of people have to live with, and it's really not a big deal. It used to annoy me when I was a kid, but I got used to it, and now it just rolls off my back.
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Hi-My name is Caroline-always got mispronounced as Carolyn, but like you it bothered me a lot as a child, and as an adult I have gotten used to it-I do still correct people though and didn't want to wish that on my kids, especially giving her a name whose correction would be far more difficult due to its subtlety-but C'est la Vie with most names at least the more unusual ones, towards which I gravitate.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 8:01 PM
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total ditto
:)
:)
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I think it sounds credible and is a very pretty nickname. I would say it like ZAH-lee-ah myself, if I had to guess by looking at it, but it's nothing a few reminders wouldn't soon fix :)
I'd just let a nickname come naturally to you. You might be surprised what you come up with once you take that pressure off yourself. A family nickname can be as farfetched as you like! It doesn't have to relate to her birth name at all. That way you get the best of both worlds, you don't have to choose between Rosalie and something else.
I'd just let a nickname come naturally to you. You might be surprised what you come up with once you take that pressure off yourself. A family nickname can be as farfetched as you like! It doesn't have to relate to her birth name at all. That way you get the best of both worlds, you don't have to choose between Rosalie and something else.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:58 PM
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Hi new chloe, I missed your post earlier, I like your pronunciation,a nd I think it is a good idea to see what comes to me too, as I said I am new to this/I've never nicknamed anyone, maybe something natural/fun will emerge as time passes.
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I think you gotta back off, because if everyone's calling her Rosalie and your own husband is annoyed with you (you had him look at 30 or 40 names?!), sooner or later it will start to seem to be about the baby herself, and not just a name.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
Don't answer that, please. I'm only going off psychologizing, because your obsession with something you really could just choose to be positive about, seems to be getting potentially destructive. That's my impression from what you say, and how you seem determined to talk yourself into how much you hate Rosalie and yet can't come up with an agreeable alternative.
FWIW it might help you to remember that -ie endings in French-derived names such as Rosalie are not cutesy at all but formal. Natalie, Amelie, Eugenie, Eulalie, Sylvie, Marie. These are not cutesy and do not seem cutesy. Rosalie is not only in a style that resembles French origin, it IS a legitimate French form. Also, Rose is one of the most dignified and ancient symbols to be found in feminine names. It's not just pretty-pretty or fashionable. Zalia, on the other hand ... I dunno.
And I have encountered the (nick)name Rosie on a girl and I think it seems strong, not cute.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
Don't answer that, please. I'm only going off psychologizing, because your obsession with something you really could just choose to be positive about, seems to be getting potentially destructive. That's my impression from what you say, and how you seem determined to talk yourself into how much you hate Rosalie and yet can't come up with an agreeable alternative.
FWIW it might help you to remember that -ie endings in French-derived names such as Rosalie are not cutesy at all but formal. Natalie, Amelie, Eugenie, Eulalie, Sylvie, Marie. These are not cutesy and do not seem cutesy. Rosalie is not only in a style that resembles French origin, it IS a legitimate French form. Also, Rose is one of the most dignified and ancient symbols to be found in feminine names. It's not just pretty-pretty or fashionable. Zalia, on the other hand ... I dunno.
And I have encountered the (nick)name Rosie on a girl and I think it seems strong, not cute.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:43 PM
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The only Rosalie I know *is* French-speaking.I think it's a beautiful name.
I also know a young woman named Maria-Rose; she's usually called Rosie. She's a fine, beautiful person, a mother of a darling baby boy, and an excellent singer.
I also know a young woman named Maria-Rose; she's usually called Rosie. She's a fine, beautiful person, a mother of a darling baby boy, and an excellent singer.
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Hi Tassiegirl, thank you for the lovely anecdotal experience!
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 7:58 PM
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Curious...
...why do you assume a lot of women have traumatic birth experiences?
I know some do , but there are plenty who don't .
...why do you assume a lot of women have traumatic birth experiences?
I know some do , but there are plenty who don't .
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 2:49 PM
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Uh, where do you get the idea that I "assume a lot of women have traumatic birth experiences"? It just seemed like the obvious thing that could be another source of resentment, if something had happened around the birth where her husband had done something she didn't want.
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It's just because it's not the first time I've seen you bring it up. The link isn't as obvious to me, so I wondered. Hope I didn't offend you.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 6:51 PM
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It wasn't the first thing I thought of. It just occurred to me as a possibility after I did my lame picking apart thing. I wonder where else you've seen me bring it up when it was not already the topic. Not sure that has ever happened.
Maybe you just have gotten the idea from "the sum of my posts" that I'm too opinionated about childbirth in general, which is possibly true. But despite that, I'm actually not sitting here going it was awful wasn't it! oh the terrible state of modern childbirth! in response to this. haha
Maybe you just have gotten the idea from "the sum of my posts" that I'm too opinionated about childbirth in general, which is possibly true. But despite that, I'm actually not sitting here going it was awful wasn't it! oh the terrible state of modern childbirth! in response to this. haha
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It was more the sum of your posts than one post/thread in particular, but I think I jumped to a conclusion here, and I shouldn't have. Just because you have strong opinions about something, that doesn't make you TOO opinionated.
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quote:
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
I won't answer it but yes I have heard of displacement and this is all a valid thought process on your part and a possibility I suppose. And I do feel a little angry that I did not want to name her at the hospital and he pressured me to choose then, as he did not want to come back in two weeks to fill out the forms, he just wanted it done.
yes, I agree that reminding myself of the french name-ending angle is also a valid/important one to consider, regardless of how other people might interpret the name. I think I just had not realized that it would be misinterpreted as a compound name and since I never liked the ends-in-ee sound much anyway, that got the ball rolling in the wrong direction for me.
Since he told me I could come up with a nickname or pet name I figured I might try that angle.
Thanks for your thoughts.
It wasn't just in his mind that you had an agreement. You actually did agree with him about the name! Now you want to un-agree and he says no, so ... I have to ask, have you ever heard of displacement? Maybe you should consider the possibility that there was some other, more important and less controllable situation, in which you agreed to something with your husband and regretted it. Maybe your feelings about something else, that you won't or can't easily address, are coming out about the name, where you feel you could have control and "fix" it. How did your childbirth go?
I won't answer it but yes I have heard of displacement and this is all a valid thought process on your part and a possibility I suppose. And I do feel a little angry that I did not want to name her at the hospital and he pressured me to choose then, as he did not want to come back in two weeks to fill out the forms, he just wanted it done.
yes, I agree that reminding myself of the french name-ending angle is also a valid/important one to consider, regardless of how other people might interpret the name. I think I just had not realized that it would be misinterpreted as a compound name and since I never liked the ends-in-ee sound much anyway, that got the ball rolling in the wrong direction for me.
Since he told me I could come up with a nickname or pet name I figured I might try that angle.
Thanks for your thoughts.
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I like Zalia, though it feels an itty little bit "heavy". What about something a little bit more "down-to-earth" (so to speak), such as Alie or Lie? Those are typically Dutch, no-nonsense nicknames for this type of name: Alie would be pronounced as AH-lee and Lie as LEE.
But hmm... given that English is your first language, I suppose you better use the spelling Lee instead of Lie (since despite the different pronunciation, it looks too much like the noun and verb), though. And as far as Alie is concerned, that one should be sufficiently doable in English.
If the aforementioned are too out there for you, I suppose you could try Ally (or Alli or Allie) instead. Maybe even a contracted form such as Rolly (or Rollie) would do? It makes me think of the male name Rollo, which makes it seem pretty endearing somehow.
Last but not least, Sally (or Sallie) also comes to mind, but that one is too common and dated to me.
In any case, good luck. :)
But hmm... given that English is your first language, I suppose you better use the spelling Lee instead of Lie (since despite the different pronunciation, it looks too much like the noun and verb), though. And as far as Alie is concerned, that one should be sufficiently doable in English.
If the aforementioned are too out there for you, I suppose you could try Ally (or Alli or Allie) instead. Maybe even a contracted form such as Rolly (or Rollie) would do? It makes me think of the male name Rollo, which makes it seem pretty endearing somehow.
Last but not least, Sally (or Sallie) also comes to mind, but that one is too common and dated to me.
In any case, good luck. :)
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:15 PM
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Zalia is certainly feminine to me! It looks distinguished, almost regal - but it's a little bit heavy in the sense that I think of a mature, stylish grown woman in her late 30s to early 40s - kind of like I do with Zelda. In other words, I can't really mentally picture it on a little girl or a baby. But that's just the impression that I personally have: Zalia may well suit your girl despite her young age. ;)
Oh, and I just thought of Ollie as well. Yes, I know you're looking for something that ends in -a - but I couldn't pass up mentioning this one. It's usually used as a nickname for Oliver, but it could be so cute on a little girl! But again, that's just my opinion. :)
Oh, and I just thought of Ollie as well. Yes, I know you're looking for something that ends in -a - but I couldn't pass up mentioning this one. It's usually used as a nickname for Oliver, but it could be so cute on a little girl! But again, that's just my opinion. :)
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Ollie is cute! Thank you for your perceptive on Zalia- And I can see that point-Thalia didn't fit her either in that way (to me) it seemed too old and mature for a baby when I pronounced it my way. Re: Zelda, to me it has a quirky heaviness, it was one of the many names I considered that my DH vetoed, though he didn't like it because if F Scott Fitzgerald (who knows why that bothered him) and the video games!
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Well, Zelda Fitzgerald had a nervous breakdown and died in a mental institution while her husband was having an affair with a younger woman, so maybe that's why he doesn't like the name.
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He did not mention that as off-putting, just didn't like the literary or electronic allusions.
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Ah...well, Fitzgerald isn't everybody's cup of tea. It took me a while to get into him, and even now I far prefer his short stories to his novels.
"Electronic allusions"...I have to use that. :)
"Electronic allusions"...I have to use that. :)
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I don't like far fetched nicknames so Rosalie nn Zalia doesn't work for me. If it works for you, you should use it. I love Rosie! I know you don't like it so I guess it's not an option. Do you like Lee? It's very simple but could work as a nickname. Rose or Rosa? I would pronounce Zalia ZAH-lee-ah. It is quite similar to Thalia which I like pronounced TAH-lee-ah but I also like tah-LEE-ah (I know the original pronunciation is tha-LYE-ah but I don't care too much for it).
I'm sorry that you really seem to dislike her name now and your husband won't consider changing it. I can imagine how awful that must feel. But I just wanted to say that Rosalie Violet is a really beautiful combo that makes me think of a beautiful garden full of pink and purple flowers with a little fountain in the middle of it. It's a gorgeous image.
As I'm not really a fan of nicknames and Rosie, Rose and Rosa are the only ones that make sense to me (and maybe Lee) I would suggest that you open a thread and let people tell you all the things they love about Rosalie. I think it could make you feel a lot better about her name. I'm sure many people love it and even those who don't will be able to tell you some good things about her name.
I like Violet better than Rosalie but that's probably because I know a very lovely, beautiful girl named Violet and associate it with her. Rosalie has really grown on me and I like it a lot right now.
I'm sorry that you really seem to dislike her name now and your husband won't consider changing it. I can imagine how awful that must feel. But I just wanted to say that Rosalie Violet is a really beautiful combo that makes me think of a beautiful garden full of pink and purple flowers with a little fountain in the middle of it. It's a gorgeous image.
As I'm not really a fan of nicknames and Rosie, Rose and Rosa are the only ones that make sense to me (and maybe Lee) I would suggest that you open a thread and let people tell you all the things they love about Rosalie. I think it could make you feel a lot better about her name. I'm sure many people love it and even those who don't will be able to tell you some good things about her name.
I like Violet better than Rosalie but that's probably because I know a very lovely, beautiful girl named Violet and associate it with her. Rosalie has really grown on me and I like it a lot right now.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 11:58 AM
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Hi Lily, I tend to agree with you on the nn front but am having to really think what will get me through this period while her name stays the same, so I am getting more creative with the nickname idea than I would normally ever want to...and you are right about the idea of a fishing-for-compliments thread of sorts-as every time someone does say something nice abut the name (as you did with your imagery) it helps bring me out of my funk and gives me warm feelings and an appreciation for the name, no-matter the ie ending. I am sure I would not have picked this name if it were truly that awful, I just am still struggling with it a week later.
I like Thalia prn. Talia too, tha-LYE-ah is a mouthful and I don't care for it either. The only pronunciation I grew up knowing was THAIL'ya, as I've mentioned, which is what I would have used but also what wasn't winning me over, not to mention the multiple pronunciations of the name were another reason we went with Rosalie.
for Rosalieall the intuitive nicknames are the ones I don't like. I too like Violet-I just don't know about switching it...
Thank you for your thoughts, I'll mull Violet over too.
I like Thalia prn. Talia too, tha-LYE-ah is a mouthful and I don't care for it either. The only pronunciation I grew up knowing was THAIL'ya, as I've mentioned, which is what I would have used but also what wasn't winning me over, not to mention the multiple pronunciations of the name were another reason we went with Rosalie.
for Rosalieall the intuitive nicknames are the ones I don't like. I too like Violet-I just don't know about switching it...
Thank you for your thoughts, I'll mull Violet over too.
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She's done that several times though, with allowing people to sing their praises about Rosalie
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I'm sorry you feel that way. I am really just trying to figure out how to come to a place of peace and thought some savvy naming aficionados might be of some help, especially WRT nicknames. Apologies if I am troubling your board.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:12 PM
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I didn't mean any snarkiness at all, I was just telling Lily that suggestion has already had its place.
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I think she was suggesting I start a new thread that was entitled, "please tell me what you like about Rosalie", as opposed to, "I don't like this name, what should I do," which was my last thread. But either way, my threads have elicited positive/complimentary responses which have helped me through, however momentarily. I must have misinterpreted your post and agree I've gotten positive feedback on the actual name Rosalie.
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really? here? I must have missed it :P Hmmmm it's a horrible situation to be in. If I really didn't like the name of my child at all I'd probably just call her by a name I liked even if it wasn't her real name. But maybe Zalia will work, it's pretty close to Thalia after all.
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Oh. Poor you. I feel your pain.
My two cents on nns: Formal names are the place to show education / meaning / honor, etc. They are like wearing your best outfit to a job interview. It's how you present yourself to the outside world.
Nns, on the other hand, are the place to express creativity, affection, whimsy. They are like the comfy pair of jeans you slip into when you come home from the interview. You don't need to dress up around those at home who already love and admire you. It's the same with nns used by loved ones.
So Rosalie, nn Flower Pot, makes sense to me. Zalia from Rosalie is pretty tame in my world. :-D
I've always loved the French name / nn Zelie ("ZAY-lee," with an accent going up over the first "e"). You might like that one / spelling too. [My research has unearthed many sources for Zelie, the most likely one from the French word for Azalea. So it's not that far off from Zalia.]
Other possible nns from Rosalie:
Rosa (an surprisingly underappreciated classic)
Rosaleen ("My Dark Rosaleen" is a poem about Ireland)
Ro
Ree (Did you ever see "Winter's Bone" with Jennifer Lawrence?)
Lee (clean, clear and bright)
Sally
R.V. (just kidding)
V. / Vee
Lisa
Lior / Liora (rearranging some of the letters in Rosalie)
My two cents on nns: Formal names are the place to show education / meaning / honor, etc. They are like wearing your best outfit to a job interview. It's how you present yourself to the outside world.
Nns, on the other hand, are the place to express creativity, affection, whimsy. They are like the comfy pair of jeans you slip into when you come home from the interview. You don't need to dress up around those at home who already love and admire you. It's the same with nns used by loved ones.
So Rosalie, nn Flower Pot, makes sense to me. Zalia from Rosalie is pretty tame in my world. :-D
I've always loved the French name / nn Zelie ("ZAY-lee," with an accent going up over the first "e"). You might like that one / spelling too. [My research has unearthed many sources for Zelie, the most likely one from the French word for Azalea. So it's not that far off from Zalia.]
Other possible nns from Rosalie:
Rosa (an surprisingly underappreciated classic)
Rosaleen ("My Dark Rosaleen" is a poem about Ireland)
Ro
Ree (Did you ever see "Winter's Bone" with Jennifer Lawrence?)
Lee (clean, clear and bright)
Sally
R.V. (just kidding)
V. / Vee
Lisa
Lior / Liora (rearranging some of the letters in Rosalie)
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I thought of R.V. too! I actually kinda like it
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Quote:So Rosalie, nn Flower Pot, makes sense to me. Zalia from Rosalie is pretty tame in my world. :-D
LOL!!! Flower pot does have a ring to it....!
I find Zelie interesting but don't want to make the same mistake by gravitating towards another name that ends in EE (though most nicknames do, it's what I don't like about the whole vibe of the name Rosalie). So even though Zelie sounds nice I am worried I'd then regret another name! It does work better as a nickname for Rosalie as opposed to Zalia which would be more appropriate for Rozalia. Then again, as you pointed out nicknames aren't necessarily about appropriateness-and may be anything but.
Of your suggestions I like Liora, but it seems too distant a derivative for my dh to go for that (I imagine he'll be restrictive with even the pet name) and my niece is named Lorelei, already similar to Rosalie in flow and perhaps too similar Liora?
I REALLY appreciate your opinion on nicknames and may try to adopt that-I've always been rather anti-nickname as I like for the child to wear the name given to him/her, but your approach makes a lot of sense for someone grasping at straws now.
I mentioned Zalia to my mother who said, rather dismissively, well I guess, but HER NAME, Rosalie is so pretty.
Again, this may be PPD/a passing phase for me, as I seem to go in and out of liking the name Rosalie right now, but am trying to find something to call her other than baby while I get through this period of regret and having to deal with this "compromise," or whatever it is.
LOL!!! Flower pot does have a ring to it....!
I find Zelie interesting but don't want to make the same mistake by gravitating towards another name that ends in EE (though most nicknames do, it's what I don't like about the whole vibe of the name Rosalie). So even though Zelie sounds nice I am worried I'd then regret another name! It does work better as a nickname for Rosalie as opposed to Zalia which would be more appropriate for Rozalia. Then again, as you pointed out nicknames aren't necessarily about appropriateness-and may be anything but.
Of your suggestions I like Liora, but it seems too distant a derivative for my dh to go for that (I imagine he'll be restrictive with even the pet name) and my niece is named Lorelei, already similar to Rosalie in flow and perhaps too similar Liora?
I REALLY appreciate your opinion on nicknames and may try to adopt that-I've always been rather anti-nickname as I like for the child to wear the name given to him/her, but your approach makes a lot of sense for someone grasping at straws now.
I mentioned Zalia to my mother who said, rather dismissively, well I guess, but HER NAME, Rosalie is so pretty.
Again, this may be PPD/a passing phase for me, as I seem to go in and out of liking the name Rosalie right now, but am trying to find something to call her other than baby while I get through this period of regret and having to deal with this "compromise," or whatever it is.
This message was edited 4/10/2012, 12:00 PM
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One more angle (OK, two)
My dh and I don't have any children. But there was a time when it might be possible and so we threw a few names around.
Some of his choices were not my style at all, nor were some of the family honoring names from his side. At the time I told myself that even if I didn't love the name I loved my dh. Giving him the opportunity to use a name he loved pleased me just as much as if I had free reign.
Well, that's what I told myself at the time. I'm not sure I could have lived up to it. But it might help you in getting used to the name your dh loves (or at least the only one he could live with).
I know, I know. Easy for me to say. I just thought it might help to look at the name from a different angle. For what it's worth, I think she'll thank you one day for such a pretty name. :-)
Oh, also. Remind yourself that French names ending in an "ee" sound aren't nns. Marie is the French form of Maria, Valerie for Valeria, Sophie for Sophia, etc. [In poetry and sounds you can hear a slight "uh" sound at the end, like the vowel sound in good/wood/hood.] If the French wish to make a nn they are more likely to use just an "i" on the end, like Mimi, Gigi, etc. You probably already know that. Again, I'm just trying to find ways to perhaps see Rosalie in a more dignified, formal light.
Glad you liked Flower Pot. :-P
My dh and I don't have any children. But there was a time when it might be possible and so we threw a few names around.
Some of his choices were not my style at all, nor were some of the family honoring names from his side. At the time I told myself that even if I didn't love the name I loved my dh. Giving him the opportunity to use a name he loved pleased me just as much as if I had free reign.
Well, that's what I told myself at the time. I'm not sure I could have lived up to it. But it might help you in getting used to the name your dh loves (or at least the only one he could live with).
I know, I know. Easy for me to say. I just thought it might help to look at the name from a different angle. For what it's worth, I think she'll thank you one day for such a pretty name. :-)
Oh, also. Remind yourself that French names ending in an "ee" sound aren't nns. Marie is the French form of Maria, Valerie for Valeria, Sophie for Sophia, etc. [In poetry and sounds you can hear a slight "uh" sound at the end, like the vowel sound in good/wood/hood.] If the French wish to make a nn they are more likely to use just an "i" on the end, like Mimi, Gigi, etc. You probably already know that. Again, I'm just trying to find ways to perhaps see Rosalie in a more dignified, formal light.
Glad you liked Flower Pot. :-P
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Bear wrote:But it might help you in getting used to the name your dh loves (or at least the only one he could live with).
yes, And I think if he weren't so seemingly belligerent about it I'd feel differently, but the interaction between us regarding this name thing has been so unpleasant (even before the name was chosen) as I am sure you can glean from my posts that there is a bit of sourness about the compromise. Perhaps I can rise to the occasion and just swallow it, but as you can see I am really having trouble with that right now. I do need to find a way to soldier on though (with the name) and telling myself this WAS the compromise and he likes it a lot DOES help.
The french ending reminder does indeed assist me in tolerating it too, so I appreciate the angle. I still wonder if I hadn't heard 5 people now call her RosaLEE (especially my MIL with that southern twang) if this issue would have even arisen.
yes, And I think if he weren't so seemingly belligerent about it I'd feel differently, but the interaction between us regarding this name thing has been so unpleasant (even before the name was chosen) as I am sure you can glean from my posts that there is a bit of sourness about the compromise. Perhaps I can rise to the occasion and just swallow it, but as you can see I am really having trouble with that right now. I do need to find a way to soldier on though (with the name) and telling myself this WAS the compromise and he likes it a lot DOES help.
The french ending reminder does indeed assist me in tolerating it too, so I appreciate the angle. I still wonder if I hadn't heard 5 people now call her RosaLEE (especially my MIL with that southern twang) if this issue would have even arisen.
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Oh, sorry. I missed the part about his attitude. Hmmm. Bummer, especially for a namenerd. Well, I'm still sure *she* will thank you. And if she doesn't she has her father to complain to. :-D See? Lemonade!
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LOL! I think she'll like her name, I imagine any little girl would (except my eldest DD, of course!)
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Well, you're sitting pretty either way. Win-win!
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I wish I lived in France right now-that would help! OK I really need to convince myself away from the nicknamey/cutesie vibe.
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Hi Lily, Itt was rather far down on my list (Rosalie): I liked it but wasn't in love with it, and he liked NONE of my other, preferred names. I'd say Thalia was at a point of a tie for preferences with me- I liked that Thalia ended in A but he was just OK with it and preferred Rosalie, and I could not decide. I decided on Rosalie at the hospital because when we told the woman at the records office that we were debating which of these two names to give her (the only two names on my list that he even liked) she said, what? I thought you said failure." We had the option to leave the hospital with her nameless and come back in two weeks with a decision. Then my DH said he wanted to make the decision then and there as opposed to waiting, as waiting wouldn't get us anywhere. I imagine her negative comment about Thalia left a bad taste in my mouth and I went with Rosalie. I guess I viewed both names as compromises as they were not my first choices, and he didn't offer any. Hope that makes sense.
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