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HelpRe: Case of name regret ~
in reply to a message by mirfak
Is Charlotte your daughters mn? Or just a name she really likes? I think there's a bit of difference between the two, because technically a mn is still your name.
My PNL = http://www.behindthename.com/pnl/37275
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Bottom: Trajan & Jacoba (main) / Dinadan & Melpomene (GP) / Corvo & Ourania (top25)
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She asked what I'd have named her if I hadn't named her what I did, and that's the answer. She likes it mostly because of Charlotte's Web, I think! I had 3 names to choose from when she was born - Charlotte, Claudia, and the name she has. Claudia is her mn, and I decided Charlotte just didn't feel right.
So if she really, really wanted to be Charlotte, I'd be willing to try to call her that, and have everyone call her that, and if it stuck I'd change it legally. Whatever - my naming ego wouldn't get flayed if that happened. I'm not going to be hard on myself about whether the name I chose was as "good." A name is given in a moment, and the moment passes, and people change. Changing a name isn't a huge deal, but neither is having a name that doesn't seem as "good" as another name.
Anyway yeah, blah blah. It's true that going by a middle name seems simpler than taking a whole new name. But really I think it wouldn't be any harder for everyone to start calling her Charlotte, than it would be for them to start calling her Claudia. It would just be slightly inconvenient and tacky for her to introduce herself (Yes my name is ___ Claudia, but I go by Charlotte) until she changed it.
So if she really, really wanted to be Charlotte, I'd be willing to try to call her that, and have everyone call her that, and if it stuck I'd change it legally. Whatever - my naming ego wouldn't get flayed if that happened. I'm not going to be hard on myself about whether the name I chose was as "good." A name is given in a moment, and the moment passes, and people change. Changing a name isn't a huge deal, but neither is having a name that doesn't seem as "good" as another name.
Anyway yeah, blah blah. It's true that going by a middle name seems simpler than taking a whole new name. But really I think it wouldn't be any harder for everyone to start calling her Charlotte, than it would be for them to start calling her Claudia. It would just be slightly inconvenient and tacky for her to introduce herself (Yes my name is ___ Claudia, but I go by Charlotte) until she changed it.
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But what is her name?
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I'm sorry, I don't post it online. It's kind of "unique" (still fewer than 100 girls named it last year). I don't ever want my posts to be searchable by her name. It would embarrass her, someday. lol
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Yes, so when I post my kids names, I put spaces between each letter so they aren't searchable.
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And maybe I just don't want to hear people's opinions of it, too. =D
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That is difficult when I see people make negative comments about my daughter's name but it is meaningful to me because it's an honoring name and it of course really suits her now. And we all have different tastes.
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It's not that I would take negative comments hard. It's just that it's so pointless for anyone to make them. Mostly I respond by feeling impatient and a little scornful. I mean, it's okay with me if people don't like it, or if they tell each other they don't - but them telling me so, would feel like someone telling me they don't like the shape of my ears. I'd want to say "Yeah, so it's not to your taste - cry me a river? Or maybe, just shut up? Is there some reason you think I care?"
I feel a little funny posting my opinions of names people claim are their kids' actual names. It's different from talking about what you might name them. I'm thinking, I am sure they don't really give a rip what I think, unless I praise the name ... they used it, so obvs they don't care if I don't like it, right? So since it's an Opinions Board, aren't they basically just fishing for compliments? That's okay, I'll give any compliments I have that are sincere, and hopefully if what I say isn't complimentary, they'll know that I realize my opinions are junk to them.
Anyway, I'm not looking for compliments on my kids' names, any more than I'm avoiding derogations. I already know that not a lot of people find my daughter's name really fabulous, just by the fact that only a few people use it for their daughters. And by the trouble people have with pronouncing it... lol. I know it's a nice decent name, and I'm fully aware of all the "drawbacks" it has - there's no new info for me in other people talking about the name. I decided none of the negatives were enough to ruin the name, and nobody's going to convince me otherwise now!
I feel a little funny posting my opinions of names people claim are their kids' actual names. It's different from talking about what you might name them. I'm thinking, I am sure they don't really give a rip what I think, unless I praise the name ... they used it, so obvs they don't care if I don't like it, right? So since it's an Opinions Board, aren't they basically just fishing for compliments? That's okay, I'll give any compliments I have that are sincere, and hopefully if what I say isn't complimentary, they'll know that I realize my opinions are junk to them.
Anyway, I'm not looking for compliments on my kids' names, any more than I'm avoiding derogations. I already know that not a lot of people find my daughter's name really fabulous, just by the fact that only a few people use it for their daughters. And by the trouble people have with pronouncing it... lol. I know it's a nice decent name, and I'm fully aware of all the "drawbacks" it has - there's no new info for me in other people talking about the name. I decided none of the negatives were enough to ruin the name, and nobody's going to convince me otherwise now!
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