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HelpSecond Chance - Should I take it?
Some of you may remember my Thistle dilemma. I really wanted to give my daughter the middle name of Thistle, to honour her Scottish heritage. My other half refused, so we gave her the middle of Katherine which we both liked but felt boring to me.
Katherine has never felt right, we don't use it (though we use all my other children's middles). It's long to write out, considering she already has a double-barreled surname and another middle name and kind of awkward to say.
My other half has suddenly said if I want to change middle name I can, but I'm now worried while it may be quirky and meaningful to me, it will just be mean and cringe-worthy to my daughter.
So should I go with my heart and change her name or leave things as they are?
She's 10 months if it makes any difference.
Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W.H. Auden
Katherine has never felt right, we don't use it (though we use all my other children's middles). It's long to write out, considering she already has a double-barreled surname and another middle name and kind of awkward to say.
My other half has suddenly said if I want to change middle name I can, but I'm now worried while it may be quirky and meaningful to me, it will just be mean and cringe-worthy to my daughter.
So should I go with my heart and change her name or leave things as they are?
She's 10 months if it makes any difference.
Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W.H. Auden
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Replies
I wouldn't.
Thistle is not really a name. Katherine is a beautiful one. Plus thistles are famous for being "prickly" --not something desirable in a young woman.
I get that you want to honor your Scottish heritage, but I don't think naming your daughter "Thistle" is the way to do it.
Thistle is not really a name. Katherine is a beautiful one. Plus thistles are famous for being "prickly" --not something desirable in a young woman.
I get that you want to honor your Scottish heritage, but I don't think naming your daughter "Thistle" is the way to do it.
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My opinion of the names Thistle and Katherine is irrelevant, at this point. Do you love her full name now? Do you live it with Thistle?
If it was me, I'd have to be really really excited about Thistle to be willing to change it. If the two combos were even or nearly even, I'd leave it.
Why not just pretend her middle name is Thistle for, say, a month or so, and see if it makes you love the combo more? Changing a name at 10 months or at 18 months is really not that different, so you've got some time.
If it was me, I'd have to be really really excited about Thistle to be willing to change it. If the two combos were even or nearly even, I'd leave it.
Why not just pretend her middle name is Thistle for, say, a month or so, and see if it makes you love the combo more? Changing a name at 10 months or at 18 months is really not that different, so you've got some time.
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I think I am going to live with it for a while and see as we have to travel back home in a few months, so I can't change it now due to needing her passport.
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You really want to change her name, so, I guess, might as well do it.
I wouldn't, myself, want to be named Thistle, so picky, and I'm of Scottish descent, though I've never been to Scotland.
But as others have said, it's a middle name.
Any hope you could like Caledonia, as Mirfak suggested?
I wouldn't, myself, want to be named Thistle, so picky, and I'm of Scottish descent, though I've never been to Scotland.
But as others have said, it's a middle name.
Any hope you could like Caledonia, as Mirfak suggested?
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Thanks, Caledonia is too similar to her sister's name, so can't use that.
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Yeah, go for it. It's not mean. She'll never remember that she once had a different middle name. Nobody will know it's her second middle name if she doesn't want them to, so how cringeworthy can it really be?
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Grab that second chance with both hands! You've tried Katherine and it hasn't worked; even your DH seems to agree. And it's never been easier to give children names that are slightly off-centre. Middle names are pretty private, especially if one wants them to be - I was at school with a girl whom we all knew as Alison Margaret. Turned out she had a secod mn - of all things, Honeybun. And nobody twitched an eyelash. Thistle is much nicer IMO and comes with its own spikey emblem and the Nemo Me Impune Lacessit motto which is also pretty cool. I think she'll thank you.
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Strange that about the motto as it's very similar to her father's family motto. I didn't know that.
Hope it's not as bad as Honeybun. lol
Hope it's not as bad as Honeybun. lol
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It's the Scottish equivalent of E Pluribus Unum - the national motto. Means "Nobody disses me and gets away with it", or the medieval version of that.
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No, I would not change her middle name to Thistle. I love lots of word names, but Thistle is not one of them. It sounds silly, like whistle, plus, it makes me think of this quote, from one of my favourites-
“…They say a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I have never been able to believe it. I don’t believe a rose would be as nice if it were called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.” — L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
“…They say a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I have never been able to believe it. I don’t believe a rose would be as nice if it were called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.” — L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
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Billina, can you take L's full name out of your post. Thanks.
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what it sounds like ...
Now that I think about it, is a My Little Pony.
Now that I think about it, is a My Little Pony.
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Well, for starters I don't think replacing Katherine with Thistle because it's shorter to write out makes sense, especially with two MNs.
I'd go with changing it. Changing MNs is not a big deal in my book, especially since Catholics often add/change a MN at confirmation. At like, the age of 12.
I'd go with changing it. Changing MNs is not a big deal in my book, especially since Catholics often add/change a MN at confirmation. At like, the age of 12.
This message was edited 7/15/2014, 6:14 PM
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I'd change it! You know Katherine doesn't feel right to you and Thistle has more meaning and personality. Besides it's a middle name. If she doesn't like it she can change it back when she's older, or just never tell anyone what it is. Middle names aren't usually common knowledge to people other than the bearer of the name and their family members anyway.
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What about using a Scottish name for the middle name? It would honor her heritage, and might work better with the first name.
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We couldn't find any Scottish name we liked well enough. It was hard enough agreeing on the 3 names we did choose.
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You think you'd use Thistle? You say you use the others' middles. You really want to use it the same way?
If only the word weren't so blah and awkward sounding, I'd totally endorse changing it. Caledonia would be nicer. Anyway the honoring thing seems fairly trivial and semi-random IMO. Seems to me like you must just be fond of the idea of a girl named Thistle. Which is okay.
I think if you change it, changing it to Lumi Maeve Thistle instead of Lumi Thistle Maeve would be better. Then she could drop it more easily if she dislikes it. But probably she won't dislike it that much. It's interesting, at least, and distinctive.
IIWY I'd not change it though. I'd just get over it. There are lots of great nicks for Katherine that could fit.
If only the word weren't so blah and awkward sounding, I'd totally endorse changing it. Caledonia would be nicer. Anyway the honoring thing seems fairly trivial and semi-random IMO. Seems to me like you must just be fond of the idea of a girl named Thistle. Which is okay.
I think if you change it, changing it to Lumi Maeve Thistle instead of Lumi Thistle Maeve would be better. Then she could drop it more easily if she dislikes it. But probably she won't dislike it that much. It's interesting, at least, and distinctive.
IIWY I'd not change it though. I'd just get over it. There are lots of great nicks for Katherine that could fit.
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Caledonia is too long and too similar to her sister's name. It almost was her sister's name.
It may seem trivial and random to you, but we're staunch independence supporters and as we're not able to live at home, honouring it in someway does feel important to me.
I can't change it now due to needing her passport to go home for the referendum in the autumn, but think I will try living with it verbally for a while and see how we feel.
It may seem trivial and random to you, but we're staunch independence supporters and as we're not able to live at home, honouring it in someway does feel important to me.
I can't change it now due to needing her passport to go home for the referendum in the autumn, but think I will try living with it verbally for a while and see how we feel.
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She'll still have a double-barreled last name and a second middle name, and while Thistle is shorter than Katherine, it isn't THAT much shorter. My feeling is, you had your chance, now leave it alone. Thistle is a pretty silly word for a name, and it's lispy and hissy besides.
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Go for it. Katherine feels meaningless to you, Thistle doesn't. And Lumi's got two middle names, so she can always drop it if she hates it - but I doubt she will.
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Hi Malk. I remember this discussion!
I love the name Katherine. But I'd say go ahead and make the change to Thistle--It's beautiful, unusual, and meaningful--one of the best uses for the middle name spot. (I once made a doll pillow for one of my daughters and stuffed it with thistle down).
I love the name Katherine. But I'd say go ahead and make the change to Thistle--It's beautiful, unusual, and meaningful--one of the best uses for the middle name spot. (I once made a doll pillow for one of my daughters and stuffed it with thistle down).
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My husband and I legally changed our youngest dd's mn when she was two years old. While pregnant, I had wanted to name her Caroline and he wanted to name her Anna. He even chose her prior mn (Mackenzie) which I didn't like. To this day, I'm not sure why I went along with this since my heart was set on Caroline. To my defense, it was a rough pregnancy and traumatic birth. That's my only explanation. So, when our dd was two, we changed her mn to Caroline since she'd be our last child and since I made it clear to him just what the name meant to me. To this day, we're (he, Anna, I) all glad we changed it.
As for you, it seems that you and your dh both agree on your dd's fn so you're way ahead of my husband and myself. That's the most important thing. If your dh doesn't mind the name change and if it matters that much to you, then I suggest changing it. If, otoh, you're indecisive even in the slightest, I wouldn't change it. In my situation, there was no doubt whatsoever because I loved Caroline. I still do and sometimes wish we'd named her that in the first place. I do call her by both names whenever possible. :-)
As for you, it seems that you and your dh both agree on your dd's fn so you're way ahead of my husband and myself. That's the most important thing. If your dh doesn't mind the name change and if it matters that much to you, then I suggest changing it. If, otoh, you're indecisive even in the slightest, I wouldn't change it. In my situation, there was no doubt whatsoever because I loved Caroline. I still do and sometimes wish we'd named her that in the first place. I do call her by both names whenever possible. :-)
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The problem is that I find Thistle really bad, even for a mn. Any alternatives to Katherine?
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Katherine is the only name we could agree on.
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Well I've always preferred Katherine over Thistle (which is awkward to me). I also find it a bit strange to change your kid's middle name when she's 10 months old. Middle name isn't a huge deal. So that said, I wouldn't change her middle name. But it all comes down to how you and your husband feel about it. When saying your daughter's full name (or even thinking about it), does it feel wrong? Or just like "Meh. It's fine but I kinda like Thistle..." ? If it feels wrong for the both of you, then go ahead. Or why not add another middle name? I have a FN, two MN and two surnames. I wouldn't mind another MN, even though it might seem weird with multiple middle names to Americans. But you're in Finland now, right? Multiple middle names there isn't exactly unheard of.
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I can't add it to her name now as Finns only allow 2 middles.
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It's Lumi Katherine Maeve, right?
I think this combo is particularly beautiful. I mean, there's just something about it.
Lumi Thistle Maeve is nice, too. I don't think it's mean. And really, how many people would know her middle name?
I've grown up with Esther as a *first name* (I go by Caroline) and I've been just fine. I don't think my mom was mean b/c of it :)
I think this combo is particularly beautiful. I mean, there's just something about it.
Lumi Thistle Maeve is nice, too. I don't think it's mean. And really, how many people would know her middle name?
I've grown up with Esther as a *first name* (I go by Caroline) and I've been just fine. I don't think my mom was mean b/c of it :)
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Caroline, if you read this can you take L's name out of your post. Especially as it's her full name. Thanks.
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