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Helpyes, I would (m)
in reply to a message by Bex
Honoring is supposed to be because you respect the person, and how disrespectful it would be to use their name without their permission while they were still alive. I would no more use a living person's name than I would donate to a charity in their name without asking them first.
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I look at it this way. Nobody has a monopoly on their name anyway. It's not like I can get pissed at the couple in Peoria who name their baby Janice because they didn't ask my permission. And, under any other circumstances, does Mom or Dad or Grandma or Grandpa or Uncle Joe get to dictate to you what to name your child? No. I don't see how it's any different if it's their name you want to use.
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the couple in Peoria ...
Didn't name their daughter Janice and say they were "honoring" you. That's the difference. Somebody does something in your name, or with you in mind, or because of their connection to you, then they ought to at least see the reason it might be courteous to consult your feelings.
Didn't name their daughter Janice and say they were "honoring" you. That's the difference. Somebody does something in your name, or with you in mind, or because of their connection to you, then they ought to at least see the reason it might be courteous to consult your feelings.
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Honestly, I think the main reason that I can't even grasp the concept of asking permission is because I can't wrap my mind around why, for what reason, anyone would object anyway. The only reason I've ever seen cited is that the possible honoree doesn't like his or own name. (And as I've mentioned several times, my mother hated her name and I knew that.) Uh, well, okay, but it's not your kid. The parents love it, or they like it, or they're neutral on it but they want to use it to honor you, or they hate it but that doesn't matter to them if it's a middle name because they want to honor you. And I can't even come up with any other reason anyone would object. It would just seem so selfish to me to say "No" to that request.
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in Bex's grandfather's case ...
He had a birth name that he didn't know about till he was grown, and a name he was always called and knew himself as. She says there's a long story involved with how he came to be named so differently on the birth certificate and in actual practivce. It may well be a painful or embarrassing story, and that ought to be taken into account. Of course he's gone now and maybe the story doesn't mean so much to his son/Bex's father, but it still bears cconsideration; it's easy to imagine why he might be called a different last name than is on his records, but the reasons behind him not being called by his official first name except on the birth certificate are a bit murkier and compelling.
He had a birth name that he didn't know about till he was grown, and a name he was always called and knew himself as. She says there's a long story involved with how he came to be named so differently on the birth certificate and in actual practivce. It may well be a painful or embarrassing story, and that ought to be taken into account. Of course he's gone now and maybe the story doesn't mean so much to his son/Bex's father, but it still bears cconsideration; it's easy to imagine why he might be called a different last name than is on his records, but the reasons behind him not being called by his official first name except on the birth certificate are a bit murkier and compelling.
This message was edited 7/25/2014, 6:30 AM
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Yeah, but I was just speaking generally.
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