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Unless you are really close to your cousins, which it does not sound like you are, it is not that big of a problem. If your child and your cousins child shared the same first name and were likely to be playmates then it might be an issue, but as it is it should be fine if you used Cole. It is not unusual for names to be repeated in families, so it is unlikely that your aunt will be upset that her grandson middle name and great nephew's first name are the same. If anything wouldn't your cousin and his significant other be flattered that you appreciate the sound of a name that they also love? Honestly though, your child and your cousins child will be second cousins. How well do you know your second cousins? I don't even know the first names of some of my second cousins let alone their middle names. There is nothing wrong with using Cole if that is the name your really want to use.