New Post
Search
HelpMeeting someone with a name you hate
Here's a question from a friend.
What happens when you meet someone with a name you really hate?
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Please discuss. Thanks.
What happens when you meet someone with a name you really hate?
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Please discuss. Thanks.
Archived Thread - replies disabled
1
Replies
What happens when you meet someone with a name you really hate? The same thing that happens when I meet someone with a name that I don't hate.
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what? I get a little hesitant if it's a name that has been ruined because of a personal association, but otherwise I wouldn't care. Since I go to school, I see people with names I hate on a daily basis.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated? Sometimes.
Disliking a name is not the same as disliking a person who has the name. I've known plenty of nice people with names that I despise. I think it's wrong to hate someone solely because of their name.
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what? I get a little hesitant if it's a name that has been ruined because of a personal association, but otherwise I wouldn't care. Since I go to school, I see people with names I hate on a daily basis.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated? Sometimes.
Disliking a name is not the same as disliking a person who has the name. I've known plenty of nice people with names that I despise. I think it's wrong to hate someone solely because of their name.
This message was edited 8/23/2015, 11:04 AM
1
If I meet a person whose name I hate, it doesn't affect how I feel about them as a person at all. I kind of forget that I hate the name because I'm more focused on the person than anything else. The name just becomes that person and I have no judgment on it or really even think about it.
1
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
Usually, I contain a reaction of dismay or amusement at the name itself. I think depending on why I dislike the name, it can slightly affect how I relate to them. Same as any other expression of taste that clashes with mine; it's a data point on how far our values might diverge. It can cause me to lower my expectations of how much we'll have in common. Not my expectations of the person's goodness though.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Sometimes I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and discover I will like it "in real life." The more I like the person, the stronger that effect is, but liking the person doesn't by itself cause me to like a name I hated.
Sometimes, I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and decide it's not bad after all, but I won't like it. But again, how well I like the person doesn't seem to make a lot of difference. There are plenty of people I like a lot, whose names I don't care for.
Sometimes, though, a person whose personality is disagreeable to me will also have a name I dislike, and it makes me dislike it more.
Usually, I contain a reaction of dismay or amusement at the name itself. I think depending on why I dislike the name, it can slightly affect how I relate to them. Same as any other expression of taste that clashes with mine; it's a data point on how far our values might diverge. It can cause me to lower my expectations of how much we'll have in common. Not my expectations of the person's goodness though.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Sometimes I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and discover I will like it "in real life." The more I like the person, the stronger that effect is, but liking the person doesn't by itself cause me to like a name I hated.
Sometimes, I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and decide it's not bad after all, but I won't like it. But again, how well I like the person doesn't seem to make a lot of difference. There are plenty of people I like a lot, whose names I don't care for.
Sometimes, though, a person whose personality is disagreeable to me will also have a name I dislike, and it makes me dislike it more.
This message was edited 8/20/2015, 10:52 PM
1
If I really hate the name, for example, Princess or Lexus or something, I just tend to continually hate the name even if I like the person. Hearing it grates on me a bit, but I just deal.
1
Generally I don't really think anything of it. There are plenty of names I dislike for various reasons but I generally don't apply that dislike to the person bearing the name.
Occasionally a good association with a name I previously disliked can change my opinion on the name. Especially with children (whom I work with), I find meeting a delightful little kid with a name I wasn't fond of before can often change my opinion.
If the reason I dislike a name is because it's silly or childish then I do have a hard time calling the person by that name. One of the boys I worked with a few years ago had a mother named Precious, it was very difficult to look an adult I've just met in the eye and call them Precious.
Occasionally a good association with a name I previously disliked can change my opinion on the name. Especially with children (whom I work with), I find meeting a delightful little kid with a name I wasn't fond of before can often change my opinion.
If the reason I dislike a name is because it's silly or childish then I do have a hard time calling the person by that name. One of the boys I worked with a few years ago had a mother named Precious, it was very difficult to look an adult I've just met in the eye and call them Precious.
1
I love to meet people with a name I might dislike. This teaches that my previous prejudice stopped me from the recognition of beautiful value, so I am more likely to befriend that person - depending on how well we relate, of course.
1
I try not to let my dislike of their name skew my view of the person. For example, I hate the name Elizabeth but I have a niece named Elizabeth. It doesn't mean I feel differently about her just because I dislike other people with that name.
1
A person's name has no effect at all on what I think of them or how I interact with them. If I hate a name, no matter how much I may like the person who bears it, it doesn't change my opinion of the name. I always hated the name that most people knew my husband by, Jim.
This message was edited 8/20/2015, 2:38 PM
1
That's a good question and actually something I have thought about many times before. I never had the expirence of meeting someone who had a name I really hated. If I did, I'd feel obliigated to feel irritated, most likely judge them more (inwardly) and not be as open. (Less verbal & stuff)
For a great example: I absolutely, absolutely, despise the name "Paisley" and if I ever came across a paisley, I'd feel so awkward. Especially if I was developing a friendship towards that person.
I feel that many people are more comfortable around names that they either love or can at least tolerate. If they are around someone who has an highly unusual or a name that they personally dislike, it makes it more difficult
For a great example: I absolutely, absolutely, despise the name "Paisley" and if I ever came across a paisley, I'd feel so awkward. Especially if I was developing a friendship towards that person.
I feel that many people are more comfortable around names that they either love or can at least tolerate. If they are around someone who has an highly unusual or a name that they personally dislike, it makes it more difficult
1
I guess I think "ugh, what an ugly name", but obviously I don't say it out loud! Often I actually start to like the name in question if I like the person.
For example, I used to think that Jasmine was a tacky and ugly name, but then I met the sweetest person called Yasmine, so now I don't find the name that horrible any longer.
Sadly it can be the other way around, too. Cecilia and Johanna have been a bit "blemished" to me.
BTW I had a very name-concious friend who, as a child, simply detested a playschool teacher because her name was MIRJAM. (Personally I think Mirjam is sweet.)
For example, I used to think that Jasmine was a tacky and ugly name, but then I met the sweetest person called Yasmine, so now I don't find the name that horrible any longer.
Sadly it can be the other way around, too. Cecilia and Johanna have been a bit "blemished" to me.
BTW I had a very name-concious friend who, as a child, simply detested a playschool teacher because her name was MIRJAM. (Personally I think Mirjam is sweet.)
1
What happens when you meet someone with a name you really hate?
-No big deal. I mostly assume I am indifferent to most names of people I meet and then I am pleasantly surprised if I really like the name.
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
- I find it has no impact on how I relate to the person.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
- Sometimes I come to appreciate it a bit more but usually I maintain my negative feelings toward the name if I really hated it.
-No big deal. I mostly assume I am indifferent to most names of people I meet and then I am pleasantly surprised if I really like the name.
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
- I find it has no impact on how I relate to the person.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
- Sometimes I come to appreciate it a bit more but usually I maintain my negative feelings toward the name if I really hated it.
1
I hated my husband's name when I met him. Well, the way he pronounces it, it sounds better than usual, but still, I hated it.
In general, when I meet someone with a name I hate I feel a bit annoyed. But it also depends on why I hate the name. Some names are just ugly, but I can get over that. It different when I find a name tacky... Does that make any sense? But I would never treat a person differently just because of his or her name.
In general, when I meet someone with a name I hate I feel a bit annoyed. But it also depends on why I hate the name. Some names are just ugly, but I can get over that. It different when I find a name tacky... Does that make any sense? But I would never treat a person differently just because of his or her name.
This message was edited 8/20/2015, 10:52 AM
1
A coworker of mine does this thing where she exclaims someone's "weird" name to the whole office to make fun of it. "Is this a real name?!" she'll laugh. A lot of our clients are Indian or Chinese, so it's pretty immature of a 30+ year old to have such a crazy reaction to names of other cultures, but whatever.
Personally, if there's a name I don't like, I'll think "That's unfortunate, I don't like that name", but it honestly usually doesn't make me like the name any more even if I like the person. Some of my best friends have names I really don't like but it's all good.
I will admit when I went to college down South, I met a lot more girls with names like Ashton and Payton than I ever did in New Jersey, and I judged them a bit for it because of mass opinions on BtN. I got over it, though.
Personally, if there's a name I don't like, I'll think "That's unfortunate, I don't like that name", but it honestly usually doesn't make me like the name any more even if I like the person. Some of my best friends have names I really don't like but it's all good.
I will admit when I went to college down South, I met a lot more girls with names like Ashton and Payton than I ever did in New Jersey, and I judged them a bit for it because of mass opinions on BtN. I got over it, though.
1
It doesn't really bother me. After all, they can't help what their parents chose to name them. I might wince or think how awful it is, but I can relate to them quite easily. Yes, there have been names that I've come to appreciate (although not exactly like) after knowing and liking the person.
What I can't do is read a novel where a character has a woefully misspelled name! I simply can't do it because I get distracted every time I read that spelling, lol.
What I can't do is read a novel where a character has a woefully misspelled name! I simply can't do it because I get distracted every time I read that spelling, lol.
1
I recently learned the name of someone with whom I had had several brief encounters over the past few weeks. She's affable and angelic and infectiously smiley, and her name is like Tatum, but instead of "t," "ne" sits between "a" and "u." I find the name ugly and grating, but its bearer is a queen whom I hope to befriend, so I'll have to bridle my visceral feelings about her moniker.
1
Doesn't really make a difference. And if they're really special to me, then I'll usually like the name about 5% more, e.g. I dislike Anna and Christopher slightly less than I would do on account of knowing some special people with these names.
I once had a friend tell me that my name (Olivia) was her least favourite name. I just found that amusing, really.
I once had a friend tell me that my name (Olivia) was her least favourite name. I just found that amusing, really.
1
I can't imagine an adult who's even minimally well-adjusted reacting badly when meeting a person whose name they don't like. Like the name or don't like it, keep it to yourself. Can you imagine saying "Hi, my name's Harold" and the other person acting like they just licked a lemon?
I have a cousin named Jennifer. I have never liked the name Jennifer and never will. But I love my cousin Jennifer, she's one of my favorite people. I've met other Jennifers I've liked, but I still don't like the name Jennifer and never will.
I have a cousin named Jennifer. I have never liked the name Jennifer and never will. But I love my cousin Jennifer, she's one of my favorite people. I've met other Jennifers I've liked, but I still don't like the name Jennifer and never will.
1
This made me laugh.
1
Oh, there are plenty of names that I do not like that I know people with.
One such name is Kelsey. No idea why, but I just do not like this name. I know a beautiful girl (her birthday was yesterday!) named Kelsey and I adore her.
I still dislike her name, but at least I have a positive association with the name.
If I hate a name because of a personal association with it, I actually HOPE to meet someone I like with the name. To help balance out my feelings on it.
A name that I am conflicted on is Chris. I know so many, and I dislike the name because of a very particular bad experience with a Chris (same with Michael). But, I have two brother in laws with the name that I adore.
One such name is Kelsey. No idea why, but I just do not like this name. I know a beautiful girl (her birthday was yesterday!) named Kelsey and I adore her.
I still dislike her name, but at least I have a positive association with the name.
If I hate a name because of a personal association with it, I actually HOPE to meet someone I like with the name. To help balance out my feelings on it.
A name that I am conflicted on is Chris. I know so many, and I dislike the name because of a very particular bad experience with a Chris (same with Michael). But, I have two brother in laws with the name that I adore.
1