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HelpBaby boy born but name not feeling natural
We named our beautiful boy August Perrin (Perrin after my mom) and he was born almost a month ago. Although I like the name it is not feeling natural to me. I have always loved K names and our older son is Kaden. We were considering Kai or Kyren. If we had a girl it would have been Kyla or Kiah. ( no more kids for us)
My husband likes August (Auggie) a lot but we are considering adding Kai to the middle name and maybe use it as a nickname.
Should we hypenate? How will this work if everyone is calling him August already and I prefer to call him Kai?
I feel so overwhelmed with this I cannot think and it's a huge decision for me as I want to love my baby's name.
Help and I hope I'm not too crazy.
My husband likes August (Auggie) a lot but we are considering adding Kai to the middle name and maybe use it as a nickname.
Should we hypenate? How will this work if everyone is calling him August already and I prefer to call him Kai?
I feel so overwhelmed with this I cannot think and it's a huge decision for me as I want to love my baby's name.
Help and I hope I'm not too crazy.
This message was edited 8/31/2015, 12:27 PM
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Replies
I have three children and to be honest, NONE of their names felt natural at first. It takes time. It's one thing to imagine what the little one will look and be like, but to then see him or her is almost surreal at first. It does take time.
My advice would be to go another month and try to recall why you liked August in the first place. I mean, you said your dh liked it and I'm assuming you did as well since you ended up naming the baby that. I'd also use this time to call him Kai a time or two and see how it feels.
Are you and your dh in agreement about this? I'd say that would need to be essential to avoid resentments. Oh, and there's no need to hyphenate, imo. Even if Kai ends up being his mn, lots of people go by their mns.
No, you're not crazy. :-)
My advice would be to go another month and try to recall why you liked August in the first place. I mean, you said your dh liked it and I'm assuming you did as well since you ended up naming the baby that. I'd also use this time to call him Kai a time or two and see how it feels.
Are you and your dh in agreement about this? I'd say that would need to be essential to avoid resentments. Oh, and there's no need to hyphenate, imo. Even if Kai ends up being his mn, lots of people go by their mns.
No, you're not crazy. :-)
This message was edited 8/31/2015, 11:24 PM
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A few truths:
- loving your child's name is good but not imperative
- "almost a month" is not very long for a name to feel right
- you are most definitely not too crazy :)
A few ideas:
- Try using August's name a LOT for a few days
- Try using Auggie a lot
- Then try using Kai for a few days. See whether you feel more sure about one than the other.
- Make sure to love your little boy all day long, and not get too hung up on this, even if it does seem like a huge deal.
A few opinions:
- Only change a name if you and your husband agree
- Make his first name the name you and everyone will call him
- Own the decision one way or another and just be honest. ("Everyone" can adjust. It's only been a few weeks.)
- The first couple months postpartum are full or such high highs and low lows. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
And congrats!
- loving your child's name is good but not imperative
- "almost a month" is not very long for a name to feel right
- you are most definitely not too crazy :)
A few ideas:
- Try using August's name a LOT for a few days
- Try using Auggie a lot
- Then try using Kai for a few days. See whether you feel more sure about one than the other.
- Make sure to love your little boy all day long, and not get too hung up on this, even if it does seem like a huge deal.
A few opinions:
- Only change a name if you and your husband agree
- Make his first name the name you and everyone will call him
- Own the decision one way or another and just be honest. ("Everyone" can adjust. It's only been a few weeks.)
- The first couple months postpartum are full or such high highs and low lows. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.
And congrats!
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I agree with everything kudriashkajo said! nothing to add!-
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I think if you really think Kai suits him better and want to add it in and call him that, then you should do it. People will adjust to it, or if you don't mind that others call him August then they can keep doing that and at home he can be Kai. Sure it would cause some confusion in the future, being called by a middle name, but tons of people have done it and suffer no ill effects.
What do you call him right now? Can you actually see yourself calling him Kai instead of what you have been calling him?
What do you call him right now? Can you actually see yourself calling him Kai instead of what you have been calling him?
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Sometimes you have to grow into a child's name. It sounds weird but a few of my friends have talked about it, it's part of that whole postpartum adjustment.
If I were in the situation and I simply couldn't get past not using a name, I'd add it. I wouldn't worry about hyphening it (but I've never liked boys names to be hyphenated). I can't say I'd want the hassle of going by a middle name either. So, that's something to consider.
As for everyone else, usually whatever you call him, they'll call him. If they don't, just be straight with them and say, "His name is Kai." Sure, it may get some questions at first but honesty never hurts.
If I were in the situation and I simply couldn't get past not using a name, I'd add it. I wouldn't worry about hyphening it (but I've never liked boys names to be hyphenated). I can't say I'd want the hassle of going by a middle name either. So, that's something to consider.
As for everyone else, usually whatever you call him, they'll call him. If they don't, just be straight with them and say, "His name is Kai." Sure, it may get some questions at first but honesty never hurts.
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August Kai Perrin is kind of difficult to say. The T and K blend together, and it sounds kind of strange. August Perrin Kai flows a lot nicer, and you could still use Kai is his nickname.
Kai August Perrin sounds nice, too. This is my favourite placing of the three names. Hyphenating is not really my thing, but Kai-August Perrin isn't terrible. It's kind of sweet. I wouldn't do August-Kai. That's really clumsy.
Kaden and Kai sound good as siblings. I'm okay with matching first letters if there are only two... any more than two, and it gets really cheesy.
If you do change his name and add in Kai somewhere, it means that at any point you can change from calling him Kai to calling him August. Both names would be his, so you could legitimately use either.
As to if you should change it at all... only you and your husband can answer that, really. If I wasn't feeling happy about the name after a month, I would change it. People will get used to it. You can either tell them that you'd rather call him Kai, and they'll eventually learn, or you can call him Kai yourselves and let everyone else know him as August. Your choice (:
Kai August Perrin sounds nice, too. This is my favourite placing of the three names. Hyphenating is not really my thing, but Kai-August Perrin isn't terrible. It's kind of sweet. I wouldn't do August-Kai. That's really clumsy.
Kaden and Kai sound good as siblings. I'm okay with matching first letters if there are only two... any more than two, and it gets really cheesy.
If you do change his name and add in Kai somewhere, it means that at any point you can change from calling him Kai to calling him August. Both names would be his, so you could legitimately use either.
As to if you should change it at all... only you and your husband can answer that, really. If I wasn't feeling happy about the name after a month, I would change it. People will get used to it. You can either tell them that you'd rather call him Kai, and they'll eventually learn, or you can call him Kai yourselves and let everyone else know him as August. Your choice (:
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My parents had a double name picked for my sister, but the mn was not allowed (there used to be this list, the name was not on the official list) Anyway, they officially gave her a different mn but kept calling her the original choice, and they still do, especially my mother. I know other cases like this.
So, you can add Kai to his name and call him Kai at home if you prefer his "official" name to be August. It will be confusing but I know people that survived this as kids.
So, you can add Kai to his name and call him Kai at home if you prefer his "official" name to be August. It will be confusing but I know people that survived this as kids.
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My daughter's name didn't feel natural until six months after she was born. I thought of calling her Mae, her middle name, but it was too late. Just wait, he will grow into his name.
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I think if you really aren't fond of his name and feel it's not right you should change it. He's only a month old, it will be a lot harder to change his name when he's older and he is more aware. If you are going to do it, do it now.
Going by your middle name is a pain in the butt, I'd suggest if you are going to call him Kai you change his first name to Kai. If you are going to go with a double name I'd suggest Kai-August, as in my experience people tend to drop the second part of double names and also I find the T-K difficult to pronounce.
As for people already knowing he's called August, they will deal with it. I changed my name at 18 and it took a couple of months, but eventually everyone adjusted. He's only a month old, people will probably adjust quickly.
Going by your middle name is a pain in the butt, I'd suggest if you are going to call him Kai you change his first name to Kai. If you are going to go with a double name I'd suggest Kai-August, as in my experience people tend to drop the second part of double names and also I find the T-K difficult to pronounce.
As for people already knowing he's called August, they will deal with it. I changed my name at 18 and it took a couple of months, but eventually everyone adjusted. He's only a month old, people will probably adjust quickly.
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August Perrin is a lovely name. :)
I also really like Kai, for the record (so long as it's pronounced like 'Ky').
I am not, however, not at all a fan of matching initials for siblings. My husband's family did that - last name K and all the siblings (and cousins!!) names start with K: Kevin, Kurt, Katrina, Keith, Karen, Kathy, Kristi, and Karyl. In my family, it was (thank God) just my youngest brother and myself, though honestly that was bad enough: Charlotte and Charles. We would sometimes get mail addressed to 'C [Lastname]' and have to open it to figure out who it was for.
I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal if you call your child a different nn than what most people call them? My youngest brother goes by Charles to everyone outside the family, but we all call him Charlie. Another of my brothers goes by Matti to mostly everyone, but we still call him Matthew. My nieces are Dani, Leesie, and Kenna to their immediate family but Danaka, Alise, and Mckenna to everyone else. My husband's mom still calls him Keithie sometimes. My cousin Reginald was always Reggie when we were growing up but goes by Reg now.
I suppose my concern for Kai is that, especially depending on how you pronounce both names, people might assume Kai is in fact a nn for Kaden and assume you're talking about your older son. If I were in your situation, I'd probably call the baby Perry if I felt the need for a nn, but then I've never liked the sound of Auggie, personally. But he's your baby, so you should call him what you like. :)
I also really like Kai, for the record (so long as it's pronounced like 'Ky').
I am not, however, not at all a fan of matching initials for siblings. My husband's family did that - last name K and all the siblings (and cousins!!) names start with K: Kevin, Kurt, Katrina, Keith, Karen, Kathy, Kristi, and Karyl. In my family, it was (thank God) just my youngest brother and myself, though honestly that was bad enough: Charlotte and Charles. We would sometimes get mail addressed to 'C [Lastname]' and have to open it to figure out who it was for.
I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal if you call your child a different nn than what most people call them? My youngest brother goes by Charles to everyone outside the family, but we all call him Charlie. Another of my brothers goes by Matti to mostly everyone, but we still call him Matthew. My nieces are Dani, Leesie, and Kenna to their immediate family but Danaka, Alise, and Mckenna to everyone else. My husband's mom still calls him Keithie sometimes. My cousin Reginald was always Reggie when we were growing up but goes by Reg now.
I suppose my concern for Kai is that, especially depending on how you pronounce both names, people might assume Kai is in fact a nn for Kaden and assume you're talking about your older son. If I were in your situation, I'd probably call the baby Perry if I felt the need for a nn, but then I've never liked the sound of Auggie, personally. But he's your baby, so you should call him what you like. :)
This message was edited 8/31/2015, 1:22 PM
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