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I think it's a little rude to shorten without permission. It's very rude to continue to do so if you've been corrected. I had a rather bad fight with my brother when he continued to insist on calling John "Jackie" after he said he didn't like that name. It ended up becoming a discussion of respect and values and how incompatible our thoughts on them are, even though the name thing seems small.

I love Edmund but could never use it because I loathe Ed and Eddie. Even if I get family and friends to say Edmund, he could still choose to go by Ed, which is his right. Since I have an issue with it, I wouldn't use it to avoid it. Thankfully Edmund works well as a middle name.

Completely agree.

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At my old job a new kitchen assistant asked my name (after being told it several times), so I said “it’s ____” so he thought it was clever to call me “s-____” and absolutely refused to stop. So I just never answered him.

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There are only three people I let use a nickname for me, mother’s best friend, boyfriend’s dad and his partner. The former doesn’t know the latter two but they all call me the same nickname, which actually I don’t think is that intuitive. I have my reasons for letting them all do it, mostly that I’m fond of them, but I don’t think I’d let anyone else.

agree

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Especially if they've said straight out what they want to be called. There's some leeway for parents or close family or friends, in private anyway, but I think it's the height of disrespect to ignore somebody's wishes about use of a nn or not.

Oh, I don't know. My sister's first husband used to call me Janno, which I hated, but I knew he meant it as an endearment.