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HelpOr your kid likes the nickname you hate!
in reply to a message by queenv
My cousin is Patrick and both of his parents hate 'Pat' but he went by Pat with his friends from basically the moment he started primary/elementary school because he didn't mind it at all (probably liked it even?) and that was that. My Aunt and Uncle still hate it and they will always call him Patrick and my Aunt says she still inwardly cringes even 27 years later now when a friend of his in their small town runs into her and is like, "Hey, you're Pat's mum!" She doesn't say or do anything but I think she tried to tell Patrick early on that he was "not Pat" and then realized she was fighting a losing battle. To Patrick's credit, he never insisted that his parents call him 'Pat'. In our family, us 'young ones' call him Pat occasionally but to most of the family he is exclusively Patrick...however, outside our family (professionally, in social groups, to school teachers back when in school) he is exclusively Pat.
ETA: I've seen this a number of times and that is why I am also in the camp of "if you really cannot stand a popular nickname for a name, then don't use the name."
ETA: I've seen this a number of times and that is why I am also in the camp of "if you really cannot stand a popular nickname for a name, then don't use the name."
This message was edited 4/21/2018, 12:11 PM
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Replies
Absolutely - I just read this now after my own response
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Right? I've also seen on this site "what if they change their nickname as an adult" but they could easily change it as a kid too. My younger sibling changed from a nickname to a full name at 3. People literally just stop responding to any name other than the one they like (unless they like multiple names/nicknames).
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I am also in that camp. I would never use a full name I hate the nicknames for, for the reason you gave, here. I would have to love EVERYTHING about a name in order to use it in real life.
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I'm even okay with not loving all of the nicknames but as long as I don't absolutely hate any of them. I think you need to be far more aware of this though if you plan to never use a nickname yourself, as my Aunt and Uncle did with Patrick. Pat and Paddy are both common nicknames. We already had a Paddy in our family given that my family had recently immigrated from Ireland, and even then Paddy was the less likely of the two options in Australia in the 80s and 90s. You're more likely to avoid an unwanted nickname if you get ahead if it by picking one yourself and I will likely do that with hypothetical kids because I'm a nickname kind of person. If you hate Allie or Alex for a girl and you choose Alexandra and then nickname her Lexi, I think you have a better chance of avoiding Allie and Alex than if you insist on her being always called Alexandra.
I love Margaret and it's a family name and my favorite nickname is Greta. My great-grandma was Margaret "Madge" and I think Madge is revolting. But I'd be fine with Maggie or Meg, which are probably the most likely nicknames currently for Margaret. I don't love them but I'd get used to them. I also love the names Alexandra and Charlotte. For Alexandra, I'm lukewarm on Alex for a girl (I prefer it for a boy) and I hate Lexi, Lex, Allie etc.
I love Margaret and it's a family name and my favorite nickname is Greta. My great-grandma was Margaret "Madge" and I think Madge is revolting. But I'd be fine with Maggie or Meg, which are probably the most likely nicknames currently for Margaret. I don't love them but I'd get used to them. I also love the names Alexandra and Charlotte. For Alexandra, I'm lukewarm on Alex for a girl (I prefer it for a boy) and I hate Lexi, Lex, Allie etc.
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Yes, and I've recounted my "Husband decided to call himself Jim and mother-in-law hated it" story countless times already.
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Yep :)
Just don't do it if you hate a nickname, especially if that nickname is 'in fashion' when you have your son. Jim was definitely the go-to nickname for James when your husband was growing up.
I don't think a hatred of Bill should turn someone off using William currently but if you hate Will and want to avoid it, I'd steer clear of William. Of course, these things change and there is always a small chance of any of the nicknames! This is just like I wouldn't fear a little girl called Margaret would get Peggy or Peg these days unless it was chosen by their parents...but if you were completely opposed to Maggie, which is currently more popular...it might be best to not use Margaret.
Just don't do it if you hate a nickname, especially if that nickname is 'in fashion' when you have your son. Jim was definitely the go-to nickname for James when your husband was growing up.
I don't think a hatred of Bill should turn someone off using William currently but if you hate Will and want to avoid it, I'd steer clear of William. Of course, these things change and there is always a small chance of any of the nicknames! This is just like I wouldn't fear a little girl called Margaret would get Peggy or Peg these days unless it was chosen by their parents...but if you were completely opposed to Maggie, which is currently more popular...it might be best to not use Margaret.
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Very true.
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All of this.
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