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Honoring names?
What's your impression of honoring names, in the middle name spot?
Would you do it or not, why/why not? Personally I've always had this idea that I want to use two middle names, one of them being honoring. Now that I'm actually pregnant it doesn't seem as important to me though and I'm not sure what to do.
Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure. PNL: http://www.behindthename.com/pnl/45898
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Our first son has an honoring middle name. His name is Caleb Thor Wellington. Wellington is from his paternal great grandfather, Wellington Martin Joshua. My husband was named Joshua Martin, so we used the other name for our son. But to be honest it was more because I liked it than because it was honoring, honoring isn’t a big deal To me.
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I haven't had kids, but I believe I would only do it if I like the name being honored and the name isn't a filler. So, this may mean using names that aren't obvious honors. For example, instead of using Mae/May I might use Maeva/Maeve.
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I'd do it, it makes sense if honoring is important to you and you don't care enough for the name to use it as a first name )I come from a culture where honoring names as first names are pretty common). But it's not "important" as such, there's no reason to do it if you don't feel like it any more, unless you have a relative who might get really really upset otherwise.
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When I was expecting my first child, I was advised to use two middle names as a way of ensuring individuality without resorting to weird spellings etc. So I did: all his names honour people but are also nice enough to be used anyway.So when I had my daughters, they followed that pattern. The first one had two honouring mns and her fn was something we liked. The second one has three honouring names. I would never have used an awful name to honour anyone: for instance, Cecil, Ernest, Edna, Bella ... all of them excellent people; though I really love Cecily for a girl! But I ran out of girls.For the record:
Peter David Alastair
Caroline Beatrice Mary (deceased)
Beatrice Elizabeth Anne
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Names that refer to someone or something (like they're the name of an ancestor or a saint or place or idea), are the best middle names IMO. Even if a middle name is only for the sake of a joke, if others can get the joke then it's better than "I just liked it, it sounded nice with Firstname." If the name just pleases the parent, then that (plus filling a space) is its only purpose - and I dunno about you but I don't want to bear an extra name that was about my parent's preference in names and nothing else. It's not decor. Mom's taste has nothing to do with me at all. Of course a first name reflects who your parents are, but a middle name is an opportunity to add more meaning, and connect the kid to something more. A middle name with a story is better than one without. IMO.
Which is better:"What's your middle name?"
"Alistair"
"Why Alistair? Is that a family name?"
"No. My mom just liked it""What's your middle name?"
"Alistair"
"Why Alistair? Is that a family name?"
"Yes, it's a family name"YMMV but I hate giving the "mom liked it" answer. Even "No, my mom named me after her favorite book character" is better than "My mom just thought it sounded good."So I think I'd only use an "I just like it" middle name, if the first name was honoring. Because then it can be a personal gift from me that is missing from the copycatted first name.My daughter's MN is a name I really like, that I wasn't enthusing about using as a first name (Claudia), and I chose it instead of my second-favorite name because it refers to my grandfather (Claud). My son's MN is my deceased father's FN (which I don't particularly like aesthetically, and it was a name my grandma "just liked"! but it meant a lot to me to honor his memory). I considered using "sounds good" middles for my daughter but it just felt so lame to me.

This message was edited 9/20/2018, 10:11 AM

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Directly honouring family with their names isn’t a big priority for me, but I have a few dotted around. Even in the middle, I’d like to use names I like and that work at least a bit with the first, and that definitely wouldn’t be the case for most of my family’s names. As it is I’d have to have quite a few kids to get to the honouring names, and none of them are particularly direct (e.g. Georgiana for Georgina, Cherry for Cheryl etc.). I don’t think it’s something that has to be done. If you’re lucky enough to have names that you really like to choose from then it’s great, but I wouldn’t want to use names I disliked just for honouring purposes.
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Middle names almost never come up in conversation, but the people whose names you use feel hugely honoured. It’s the perfect place to pay tribute to somebody you hold in high esteem, but whose name may not be exactly your style. It’s much better than a filler or placeholder name that simply sounds pretty. Flow is important but personal meaning is much more so, imo.
I should add that I always thought we’d pick a name we liked aesthetically for the fn, and honouring for the mn. We ended up doing both names, but variants in both cases. Theodora is named after James’ grandma Theda, as well as after the nickname I call hubby, Teddy. Her middle Lily is hubby’s favourite flower and a small tribute to his mom Lisa. (That one is more of a stretch, but MIL was rooting for that name.)

This message was edited 9/20/2018, 7:02 AM

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I wouldn't do it personally, because if I had a kid, I would want his/her name to be unique.
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We chose to honor, both of my daughter's middle names are honoring. In our families - both sides - a girl is named after their mother. My husband liked this and as an added bonus my daughter's godmother is also named Elizabeth (my middle name.) I had no clue that my daughter would end up so close with her godparents, she loves sharing a name with her. And we had always planned on honoring my husband's grandmother.That said: it is a personal choice. Follow your gut.
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Honoring names are really important to me. I also plan on using two middle names, with at least 2 of 3 names (first and 2 middles) being honoring names. I think its nice to pay homage to those you love and its a long standing tradition in my family. With that said, I have not actually named a child yet. Like you, this may change when it comes time to actually name a person. Hypothetical situations are always easier to navigate than actual ones!
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For me it's sort of the point of middle names. I wouldn't use a mn if it wasn't honouring. I prefer variants of the name over using the exact name. Elva has 2 MNs and both are honouring. nly maybe if I have 4+ kids and there aren't any more people I'd like to honour, I might consider use another name, but just as likely I'd end up honouring someone twice :) I think 2 MNs are the perfect amount (obviously, since that's what we used). I love names to much to give a child just 1 name, but having 3 MNs is a bit much, although I have 3 myself and it isn't bothersome to have.
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I never thought I'd use honoring names.But like you said, when you're pregnant and actually have a child to name, your tastes and priorities change. I went from not wanting honoring names, to both of my kids having honoring names as their first AND middle names :) When I actually had a child to name, suddenly all the names I loved before didn't feel right and I fell in absolute love with family names. So what I'm saying is, don't feel like you need to use an honoring name, just because you always thought you would. Do what feels right for you and your baby.
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