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Subject: Off Topic: Media Highs and Lows
Author: Daividh   (guest)
Date: May 6, 2001 at 5:58:39 PM
Saw two movies this week that completely support my side of a 27-year marital firefight over whether you should listen to movie reviewers.

I've always maintained that most movie reviewers are gay and therefore, despite certain disgusting sexual proclivities, tend to be somewhat insightful in matters of popular culture. (Maybe I'm kidding; you decide). My wife acknowledges the gay part but says they're often dead wrong about the quality of movies.

Bowing to her inclinations last year, we didn't go to see "American Beauty" in the theater, which I thought was strange because she's a Kevin Spacey fan. Finally saw it this week on video, and the critics were RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT, she was WRONGRONGRONG. Good flick, and even she admitted it!

Cut to this Saturday. Heading up to Lexington, planning to catch a movie in the process. Had read three STINKO reviews of "The Mummy Returns". She said "it can't be that bad, they over-react, let's see it".

"The Mummy Returns": six flicks worth of computer special effects (some rather good) and not one Dirt Devil commercial worth of plot!
$14 and two hours into this gobbler, she sez, "Dear God, the only thing that could make this worse is if that moron with the destroyed airship somehow got it patched back together and manages to rescue these losers off this exploding pyramid!" Yep, you guessed it...

This is like one of the top opening-weekend movies ever, and Variety's exit poll (read today) said 90% of the moviegoers rated it "excellent" or "very good". Now I know what that smell was in the theater. It came from where their heads usually reside...

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