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And Juliet is the sun...
in reply to a message by Keely
I would indeed choose Juliet before Juliette and I must admit that Shakespeare is the poet to take credit for my choice.
ROMEO
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.(Enter Juliet aloft)But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
(Shakespeare Scene II Act II, Romeo and Juliet )
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Replies

As Juliet hints nude....ROMEO
He jests at wart-encrusted fat on halves.
(Juliet flat on tree)But, soft! what hard-working whores hunt bigotedly?
It is the east, as Juliet hints nude
Arise, moan, villainous hunted foreskin
Who is already dwarflike as ethnic pig,
That thou fair-haired farts mean to harm:
Be not her maid, envious nice hisses;
Her vestal nubility is redneck's grave
And none but at, solo weirdo; off it acts.
I'm itsy lady, O, I'm itsy love!
Shaken, the sweet whore!
She speaks yet tiny shoes gnash: what of that?
Her cross eye is due; I write in walls.
I am old boot, 'tis the spokesman's toe:
Worthier of fattest ass in all the heaven,
Having snobs issue me, the eyesore ranted
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
If he wrath her sweeter eye, they in her head?
The brightness of her sweet master hacks household,
This gay lad doth a palm; her eyes have nine
Would through its gay-bashing the merrier root
That birds dug in owls and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her hen hard upon cheek!
O, that I were a though planted nova,
That I match to the huge thick!
(A nice cheapskate series, Mated junior - ole!)
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Hey PavlosStop going to the heiros gamos, okay? You promise? :DPhyllis (aka Sidhe Uaine or Gaia Euphoria)
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...promise Gaia...at least 'till the next time Weslyn feeds me a straight line :)
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Blessed Brother of Bubba! I never read nothing like that before. I bet a lot more high school kids would learn Shakespeare willingly if it sounded like that though!
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Blessed Brother of Bubba! I never read anything quite like that before. If my English tacher had given this to read instead of the traditional copy of Romeo and Juliet , I think a lot more of my classmates might have passed the exam! Very impressive.
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*swallows hard*I do not wish to hear where you got the idea for this rewriting from!
*grins*
But impressive still
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Sweet pole-vaulting Jaysus! Is nothing sacred?!!
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Whoa, they're gonna have to re-write Cliff Notes now! LOL! :)
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