Well, it's a bit hard to judge from such a short piece with little action. But I have to say that the clumsy "loser" who's super smart is a bit of a stereotypes.
Judging from stuff that you've posted, both now and in the past, it looks to me like you've got talent, but perhaps don't focus enough on thinking what you truly want to do with your stories, and rely on teen drama clichés and OTT elements. It might help to take part in some of the games and activities on this board, I know it's something that really helped me to get the creative juices flowing and develop my characters.
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