|Subject:||Could I Please Get Some Opinion On this Prologue/First Chapter.|
|Author:||JessaRose (Authenticated as dancingintherain)|
|Date:||December 19, 2012 at 6:52:15 AM|
I posted the first bit of this a few weeks back, well I've edited it and finally finished it. I was hoping some opinions, as well as wondering if people actually class this as a 'Prologue' or just being it as 'Chapter One'. While this bit here, is written in third person and set in 1994, the rest of the story is told in first person and set in 2019.
A bit of a warning, I've put *** to block out bits of swear words, there's only two anyway, but also as there is the idea and reference of birth and puberty and stuff. I doubt its going to bother anyone here, but I just thought I'd mention in case it did. I kind of had no clue how to really end it, so its still a work in progress.
Prologue – 1994
The sky had just begun its descent into nightfall as a young man was preparing to leave the city of Apodis. He nervously paced the rooftop of a tall building owned by his family, stopping only occasionally to observe the city skyline as its backdrop changed from a cool blue to the warm shades of orange and pink as the sun set. His mother watched him with a worried expression on her face; she wished that the pilot would quickly finish his safety checks on the flying machine, so they could leave. She hated seeing her son this way, hated seeing her baby so upset. The young man, after a prolonged period of staring at the sky, returned to furiously pacing the width of the rooftop. The woman stood up to intervene, stopping him in his tracks as she put her hands on his shoulders.
“You need to relax, my child, everything is going to be alright.” She looked into his eyes, which were just as open to her as her husband’s were.
“What if it isn’t alright?” The young man snapped while pulling himself away from his mothers grasp. “What if something happens to her? What if I’m too late and I can’t help her? What if it isn’t okay? Dammit I should have been there months ago, but no, father –”
“Your father has been a very busy man with the election, and he needed the support of his family.” His mother interrupted him, trying to get him to understand. The words only angered her son more.
“That’s bu****it, he never needed my support, never wanted it. I needed his support, I need his support now!” He snapped, more explosively. His mother went to respond, but the young man stopped her. “The only reason he never let me go was because he knew that it would increase the chances of people finding out that his son had slept with an ‘Antarae w***e’. He doesn’t care about his family, just his reputation, and he sure as hell never cared about me.” The young man could remember the look of disappointment on his father’s face when he told him that he’d been sleeping with the maid, an alien, and that she was now pregnant. Even further ingrained in his memory was watching the change from disappointment to absolute disgust when he revealed that it wasn’t just an affair, the young man had genuinely fallen in love with the forbidden fruit.
“I know that is sometimes appears that your father is single minded, but he does care about you. It has just never been in his personality to show it, and I know that you need him. You have me, and I’m telling you that you do not need to worry. Your father will get over it, he has now won the election and his reputation is still intact. He has no excuse to hold it to, and neither does your brother.” Her son remained silent. “And as for Alea, those Antarae women are strong; she is going to be okay. Everything is going to be all right.” She tried to comfort him, even though she knew it was pointless. Although her son, with his blonde hair and pale complexion, bore no physical resemblance to her, the similarities in their personalities were uncanny. While her elder son had inherited her husband’s arrogance and political mind, her youngest had received her open and creative mind, the ability to see the beauty in life and the tendency to worry about everyone and everything.
The young man sighed, allowing himself to relax. Suddenly the pilot came out and announced that all the checks were finished, and that they could leave as soon as they were ready. The young man and his mother bordered the comfortably sized aircraft in silence.
“Now I am just confirming that our destination is Alponia Village?” The pilot called out.
“Yes, that is exactly where we are heading, towards the Northern part of it.” The woman answered loudly. The village was to the north of Apodis, but not very far, and the trip would take less than an hour. The two people spent the most of the trip in silence, it seemed they had nothing left to say. The young man sat in deep thought, while his mother stared at the rooftop, unsure of how else to support her son. The young man took a deep breath, drawing his mother’s attention to him.
“Mother... I know that it isn’t easy to accept, and probably hard to believe, but I love Alea, with everything. She has treated me more humanely than anyone else, aside from you; she is the most beautiful person I know both inside and out.” His mother looked at him softly.
“I know that you do, I can see it in your eyes, and I really want you to be happy, and I wish it could be with Alea. Every mother envisions a perfect life for their children, for love to be easy and happy. Unfortunately in this world it isn’t possible, love is just an idealistic value, and marriage is a ceremony of power.” She thought about her own marriage, and how if it hadn’t been for her children, she’d have left her husband by now.
“It shouldn’t have to be this way; the war occurred almost two hundred year ago. Why must the generation of today suffer for it?” Antares had once been dominated by the Antarae species, of which there were three different sub species. The smallest group had been the Frysa, separated into little villages, living in the very south of the mainland; they relied heavily on fish as their main food source and were characterised by their pale blue skin, silvery reflective eyes and white hair. The second group referred to themselves as the Skogtra, and were characterised by dark green skin, dark hair and eyes. The Skogtra often stayed in large community groups in the forests of Antares, and were the most adept at hunting on land. The Torlara was the final and largest group of the Antarae species. The Torlara had sought to be the most dominant species, and had controlled much of the land. While the Skogtra and Frysa had been happy with their lives as hunters, the Torlara hadn’t been. They were first to create technology, and had been behind the development of the government and education systems that were still used in Antares today. They were also the ones to discover Earth, and had often visited it. Sometimes they took willing humans back with them, in order to investigate them more.
It took many years before the Skogtra and Frysa tribes had had enough of Torlara control, but eventually the two joined forces to fight against it. Realising that they were losing too many of their people, the Torlara took to abducting humans and experimenting on them, in order to create the perfect weapon. The plan had worked; within months the Torlara had won. The plan had also backfired, it wasn’t long after the final battle that the newly changed humans had overpowered the Torlara, and took control of Antares, showing little to no respect for any of the Antarae species. The Antarae had made a mistake, abducting humans and experimenting on them to use them in the war, but the humans never had to endure the torture that the Antarae do in the present moment.
“I know that it shouldn’t, and I believe we need to forgive. It is unfair, but unfortunately we cannot change it.” The two left it at that.
“We will be arriving at Alponia Village in about five minutes.” The pilot interrupted the silence with his announcement. The young man started to feel anxious, his worries from before resurfacing in his thoughts. His mother, noticing the change in his facial expression, gave his shoulder a tight squeeze.
“Everything will be okay, just relax and think positive thoughts. Alea is going to need your support when we get there.” The man nodded at his mother’s words and took a deep breath. It was not long before they had landed in a clearing that was on the outskirts of Alponia Village.
“We have arrived at the destination, do you need a guide?” The pilot asked.
“No, I will be able to find the place myself, are you fine to remain here until we return?” The man’s mother responded.
“Of course we are.” The pilot answered. The man and his mother both grabbed a lantern before leaving as the sky had become considerably dark. The mother took the leading; she knew exactly where to a go, her son followed, unsure of his surroundings. The pair remained silent as they travelled, following a clear pathway through the trees surrounding the clearing, which after only a few minutes opened up to the main street of Alponia Village. The pair stopped while the mother thought about where she was going. The young man observed the sight before him, appalled at the state of which the village was in. The streets were worn down; many of the building were inhabitable due to missing roofs or walls.
“What happened here?” The man queried his mother.
“There was a riot about a year ago, I’m not sure what about, but the village has not been able to fix itself properly ever since.” The man took a sharp intake of breath; he was not surprised that there had been riots, Alponia Village most housed Torlaran’s, who were most resistive of the human’s control of their planet. The winter had been quite harsh, and even though it was well into to spring the weather was still quite cold.
“And you let Alea return here, whilst pregnant? With the village in this broken down state! Mother, if she dies...” The man trailed off, he wasn’t to think of that. Everything was going to okay, everything had to be okay.
“I assure you that Alea and her family are well taken care of, now let us be on our way.” The woman continued to lead her dismayed son through the village. They walked down the main street, which allowed them to see the damage more strongly. The young man’s heart sank as he saw more and more damage throughout the village. A sudden noise distracted the young man, drawing his attention to an alley way where a small child was standing. The man was able to see with the dim street light that the child was Antarae, his deep indigo skin that was a characteristic of the Torlara tribe being the child’s most obvious feature.
“Do you need help?” The man found himself asking as he stopped to take a closer a look at the boy. His mother also stopped, watching the scene unfold. The child looked back towards the alleyway, and suddenly an Antarae woman was beside him.
“You cannot have my son!” She snarled at him, her golden eyes flashing with fury. She pushed the boy behind her, taking a protective stance. The young man stood back, his hands up in retreat.
“I don’t want your son; I was just asking if he needed help!” The young man insisted.
“Leave, you earth walking scum!” Her snarl increased, revealing her sharp teeth; the Antarae had once been hunters, before they knew of technology and warfare. The man left quickly; there was a place he needed to be.
“Just because you have bedded one Antarae woman, does not mean you are going to be able to befriend them all. There is too much hostility, we will never all be able to get along them.” His mother uttered as soon as he had caught up to her. The man chose to remain silent, the distraction was only momentary and now his attention had returned to Alea. It wasn’t long before they came to a sudden stop. Looking up, the man noticed a double story house, which appeared to be fairly unscathed from the riots.
“Is this the home?” He felt ridiculous asking. He loved Alea so much, and they had spent many months together, and he knew nothing about her village or her home life. He did not even know what her house had looked like.
“Yes, this is the Deion home. It still looked exactly the way I remember, the day I decided to come with your father to collect the debt they owed, and returning with young Alea. That was five years ago now and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t regret it.”
“Why?” The man asked. He wanted to add what he thought was the reason why, that perhaps she really resented the fact that he impregnated an alien.
“Because I never agreed with slavery, even it was only the Antarae,” She said before walking closer to the home, preparing to knock on the door. “Are you ready?” She asked, and the man nodded. She knocked hard the door, and the young man made his way to stand beside her. Footsteps could be heard rushing towards the door, and the door opened to reveal a teenaged Antarae male. Despite being a several years younger than the man, the boy stood several inches taller than him. Height, a slender build and longer, pointed ears were all common characteristics to all three of the Antarae species. The boy regarded the two humans standing before him with suspicion.
“I’m here for Alea,” The young man announced loudly, the urgency building up in his chest. A sad look came over the boy’s face; he then nodded and allowed them to pass.
“Father,” The boy called. Thinking back to the brief conversations the man had had with Alea, he believed the boy to be her younger brother, Nefel. An older man sat at the dining table, his head held in his hands. The young man was overcome with the feeling that he was too late, that something had happened.
“Where is she?” He demanded, losing all sense of reason. The older man looked up, his face showed absolute defeat, but hardened when he saw the woman.
“You,” He said calmly, pointing at the young man, “You may go upstairs,” The young man was quick to react, turning to climb the stair, only just hearing the elder Antarae man snarl at his mother to leave the house for she was not welcome. Once arriving at the upper level he noticed that there were several doors, only one of which was closed over. The doors that were open revealed that there was no one in them, so he walked towards the door that was closed and opened it quietly. The first thing he noticed was the middle-aged Torlara Antarae female, standing by the window directly across from the door. She was holding a baby. The woman, whom he knew was named Rhea, was typical of her species, tall and thin with pointed ears, light indigo toned skin and glowing amber eyes. Her dark hair reached her lower back and was held in a loose plat. She looked exhausted as she comforted the whimpering newborn. She’d heard his entry, and turned to face him. She then glanced over at the bed, and he followed her eyes. A young woman, a spitting image of her mother, lay there with her eyes closed. The man quickly advanced towards his beloved, his fears threatening to explode out of him. There was seat beside the bed, and he said down, touching her hand. She was still breathing.
“Alea?” He called softly, and she began to stir. Suddenly her eyes open, revealing blood shot golden eyes. She offered him a soft smile.
“You made it,” She croaked. The tears threatened to overwhelm him. He leant down and kissed her lips softly.
“I am so sorry that I couldn’t get here early, I should have tried harder.” He whispered into her ear quietly. He was disappointed in himself for letting her down. She put a week hand to his lips.
“Shhh, enough of that, all is forgotten now, have you met our son?” She whispered in return. He looked up at Rhea, who watched the scene unfold from her place beside the window; the child in her arms was now asleep. Rhea then moved closer, and the man stood back as Rhea placed the baby in Alea’s arms.
“Hey little one,” Alea whispered quietly, with tears in her eyes; she worried that this would be the only time she’d see her son.
“Alea fell unconscious a few moments after he was born; she has not had her first hold yet.” Rhea explained, and the young man nodded. He understood the importance of the bonding between mother and child, and was quite content watching Alea hold their son. It gave him the opportunity to observe that changes in his partner. Antarae and humans were not all that different; both walked physically upright, and colours put aside, were similar in physical structure and their genetics allowed for them to have perfectly healthy offspring together. However there was one significant difference that was more of an adaptation of the Antarae species. Puberty for the human female meant the widening of the hips and the development of the breasts, among other things. Meanwhile, the Antarae had become adapted to allow them hunt, and while the hips did widen, the breasts remained fairly small to allow them to be slender and fast in order to hunt. It wasn’t until the women became pregnant that their breasts developed fully in order to nourish their children. The man looked on as Alea nursed their son, and acknowledged that this change had occurred. He was so proud, despite all the drama, he was happy to be there, with Alea and their son. It was where he belonged.
“Do you want to hold him?” Alea asked, drawing him away from his thoughts. He nodded, taking the child into his arms. Smiling down at his newborn son, he noticed that the child was a blend of human and Antarae features. He had a full head of dark hair, and his ears were only slightly pointed. His skin was of mostly of his human fathers, but in the slightest blue stain was evident. The baby’s eyes were not the Torlaran’s amber, but were instead human, and would become the same bright blue as his fathers.
“He’s beautiful,” The man expressed. This was exactly where he belonged.
“He’s ours,” Alea responded. She frowned. “He needs a name, so we can stop calling him ‘he’.” She joked, feeling a little better. Rhea had returned to her spot by the window, allowing the couple some space, while still able to keep a watchful eye on her ailing daughter; she’d lost a lot of blood in the labour.
“You’re right,” The man responded, thinking about what to call their son. “I have the perfect name, but I don’t know if you will agree.”
“What do you wish to call him?” Alea asked.
“I was considering Saiph.” He announced, taking his eyes off the baby to look at Alea. She was startled.
“Are you sure?” The star name was common in the upper class of the humans that lived in the city of Apodis, but was now almost unheard of in the Antarae community.
“I am definitely sure,”
“Then Saiph it is, it is unfortunate that he cannot carry your last name.” She said weakly, her brief moment of strength gone.
“I don’t believe it is; I don’t want him to have to bear the burden of the last name, Saiph is enough,” He returned his eyes to the child, captivated by him.
“I love you,” She whispered, fighting to keep her eyes open.
“I love you too, Alea.” He looked up again. “Alea?” He panicked. Rhea, noticing the change in her daughter’s wellbeing rushed over to help. The baby sensed the change in atmosphere and began to try loudly, drawing the attention of people in lower level of the house. Nefel, Alea’s father Nezhen and the man’s mother soon joined them, having put aside their differences for their children and grandchild.
“Oh don’t give up now, Alea, please for your son,” Rhea pleaded as she tried to resuscitate Alea. The man was torn; he did not know how to comfort the wailing child, or how to help Alea. His mother took the child, and began to comfort him, and the man returned to place beside Alea.
“She’s gone,” Rhea whispered.
“No!” The man cried out; the tears pouring down his face. He began to shake Alea softly. “You have to wake up, you can’t leave me, and you can’t leave Saiph.” He felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Let it go,” Nezhen attempted to comfort the young man, whilst holding back his own tears. His baby girl was gone. The man stopped his muttering, and instead clutched Alea’s body, allowed soft sobs to escape his lips.
The man stayed there by her side for the entire night; Nefel and Nezhen had to force him away when morning came. A plan had been set in notion; Nezhen and Rhea would take responsibility for raising Saiph, while the man and his mother would ensure that they received payment. The man agreed with the decision without even considering what was being asked of him, he was too numb to think. The pair returned home later that morning, an unbearable silence hung between them. He now grieved his losses in silence.
Unbeknownst to either of them, they’d left behind a special child; a child who would become the man with the ability to save them all.
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