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Subject: Re: Does this sound too whiny?
Author: Julia Elisabeth   (Authenticated as Dahlis)
Date: January 6, 2013 at 9:43:25 AM
Reply to: Re: Does this sound too whiny? by RoxStar
Thank you very much for your thoughts! I had not really thought about how she might seem smug/spoiled/manipulative, I was too concerned about how to word her feelings so it would seem natural, so it's really good that you pointed it out.

This is after all quite a way into the novel, in the past she has expressed more care and love for her dad, hopefully the reader will be able to tell that she is not all spoiled and not likeable. But I can see how she seems very unsympathetic in this scene.

Thanks! :)

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"I'm not lost, I just want you to find me"

Lost - Six60

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