|Subject:||Re: Does this sound too whiny?|
|Author:||Ottilie (Authenticated as Ottilie)|
|Date:||January 10, 2013 at 1:58:53 PM|
|Reply to:||Does this sound too whiny? by Julia Elisabeth|
I'm with the others - she doesn't sound whiny, but rather vicious.
I know you didn't ask, but I think it could do with being cleaned up a bit. It feels like you're trying to reveal too much all at once and I think there's maybe a little too much speech.
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