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Subject: Re: Does this sound too whiny?
Author: Julia Elisabeth   (Authenticated as Dahlis)
Date: January 12, 2013 at 3:48:39 AM
Reply to: Re: Does this sound too whiny? by Ottilie
Thanks for reading it through!

How do you mean revealing? I hadn't thought about that and I don't really understand what part of it you mean - could you please give examples? :)

I see what you mean with too much speech, I have got that critique before too and this definitely needs more proofreading and cleaning up. On the other hand, it's written in a very "personal style", I want it to seem like the reader is actually hearing Emma's thoughts, unedited, raw, rambling. But I guess it can be too much of that too.

Thanks again for taking the time to read it and critiquing it!

---

"I'm not lost, I just want you to find me"

Lost - Six60

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