Proper address
My son and I share the same name; however he is the ‘II’ not Jr. My mother in law insists on addressing all correspondence, (invitations, holiday cards, etc.) to my wife and I as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith I. I have repeatedly told her that the Roman numeral ‘I’ is not needed or correct. Our son’s legal name includes the Roman numeral ‘II’ whereas mine does not include the ’I’. Is anyone aware of any naming etiquette, on line that I could print off and have her read on this subject? Not long ago we attended a function where she insisted on introducing me as John Smith the first, needless to say it has gotten rather tedious and at time embarrassing.
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Replies

Mirfak is right. Technically it's your name etiquette that is off. The suffix "II" is only appropriate when there is a gap or non-linear relation between the second and the original bearer. I was taught that there need to be two generations between the first and the second, which has been the case in my family tree, but it might be a specifically regional tradition. Personally I find it incredibly ostentatious whether or not it's used correctly, but as the paperwork is already filed, perhaps you could settle for John Smith Sr. At least it's a more socially acceptable title.
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http://www.behindthename.com/faq.php?type=names#junior Junior is used to distinguish a son with the same name as his father. The following conditions apply: 1. The Junior must be a son of the father, not a grandson.
2. The names must be exactly the same, including the middle name.
3. The father must still be living. 'II' is used whenever any close relative, including for example a grandfather or a great-uncle, shares the same name as the child.
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Based on that, I think your son is technically John Jr, and you are John Sr only when it's necessary to distinguish you from your son. I agree that "John Smith the first" is pretty silly, and you shouldn't even have to be introduced as John Senior. You're just John, and your son should be introduced as John Junior.I think you'd only use a Roman numeral I if it was necessary to distinguish the first bearer of a name from more than one descendant bearer.
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