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Subject: A little something I received by e-mail ages ago....
Author: PriaposLovs   (guest, 212.251.72.135)
Date: April 17, 2001 at 2:24:00 AM
Reply to: Re: Got Deutsch? by Nanaea
List of amusing English Mis-translations

In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis."

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

In a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

In Akko, Israel: "Lamp Chops"

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To more the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."

In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."

In a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the fob of the chambermaid."

In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: "Drop your trousers here for best results."

Outside a Paris dress shop: "Dresses for street walking."

In a Rhodes (Greece) tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years." A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: "It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

In and advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

In a Czech tourist agency: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages."

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"

In a Bangkok temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."

In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: "ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

In a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."

In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

In a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: "- English well talking." "- Here speeching American."

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizzare menu items in resturants.

Menu Items

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
Prawn cock and tail - Cair
Cock in wine/Lioness cutlet - Cairo
French fried ships - Cairo
Garlic Coffee - Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
Boiled Frogfish - Europe
Sweat from the trolley - Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose - Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
Fried freindship - Nepal
Strawberry crap - Japan
Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam - Bali
Goose Barnacles - Spain
French Creeps - L.A.
Fried fishermen - Japan
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan
Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania

Product Names

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues
Kolic - Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer
Last Climax - Japanese tissues
Ass Glue - Chinese glues
Swine - Chinese chocolates
Libido - Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink
Ban Cock - Indian cockroach repellent
Shocking - Japanese chewing gum
Homo sausage - East Asian fish sausage
Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels
Hornyphon - Austrian video recorder
Shitto - Ghanian pepper sauce
Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade
Polio - Czechoslovakian laudnry detergent
Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans - Netherlands car wax
I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee
Zit - Greek soft drink
My Fanny - Japanese toilet paper
Colon Plus - Spanish detergent
Morfat - Greek frozen cake

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