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HelpHonoring grandma - Janice
Figured I'd start a new post since the other one has moved down. I've been thinking about how I want to use her name in some way. How is Murielle and Meriel pronounced? I think Meriel is mare-ee-al? Do you think they sound enough like Merle? I just can't make myself like Merle. I would rather use Jan or Janice as the mn.
Maybe Felicity Janice Meriel? I know I really want to honor her and I am so picky about names (really don't have a whole lot of names that I like). Janice is not something that I would have ever wanted to use but the more I say it the better it sounds. I don't even know if my husband is going to go for that because he doesn't even understand why I want to do it. He says that we weren't even that close. :(
I like the idea of using Janice for a mn more than just 2 names that start with J and M (but still might do that). I like Juliet/Juliette a whole lot though so if I weren't doing this her name would probably be Felicity Juliet. I think Meriel is pretty (if I'm pronouncing it right) but I don't know if Felicity Juliet Meriel flows very well. Felicity Janice Meriel sounds better?
Maybe Felicity Janice Meriel? I know I really want to honor her and I am so picky about names (really don't have a whole lot of names that I like). Janice is not something that I would have ever wanted to use but the more I say it the better it sounds. I don't even know if my husband is going to go for that because he doesn't even understand why I want to do it. He says that we weren't even that close. :(
I like the idea of using Janice for a mn more than just 2 names that start with J and M (but still might do that). I like Juliet/Juliette a whole lot though so if I weren't doing this her name would probably be Felicity Juliet. I think Meriel is pretty (if I'm pronouncing it right) but I don't know if Felicity Juliet Meriel flows very well. Felicity Janice Meriel sounds better?
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Felicity Janice Meriel
is SO much better than Felicity Juliet Meriel. Holy cow, I already want to beat Felicity Juliet Meriel up and make her get dirt on her perfect-perfect white shoes. Ugh, that name just oozes feelings of entitlement.
I'm not sure how you'd say Meriel - I'd say "mee-ree-el" maybe?
is SO much better than Felicity Juliet Meriel. Holy cow, I already want to beat Felicity Juliet Meriel up and make her get dirt on her perfect-perfect white shoes. Ugh, that name just oozes feelings of entitlement.
I'm not sure how you'd say Meriel - I'd say "mee-ree-el" maybe?
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Different traditions
Both my first and middle names honor relatives. My first uses the first two letters, since the relative honored was male, and my middle is the exact of a great grandmother.
However, I was born decades after these relatives passed, and my father (who named me) wasn't close with them. I was never told any stories about them when asked, and had no real idea of who these people were. It was just family tradition to name this way, and "that's the way things are".
So IMO, choose the names that suit you and your beliefs best. To me, it is more important to share with your child the memories you had with your grandmother and know who she is more than anything else.
Both my first and middle names honor relatives. My first uses the first two letters, since the relative honored was male, and my middle is the exact of a great grandmother.
However, I was born decades after these relatives passed, and my father (who named me) wasn't close with them. I was never told any stories about them when asked, and had no real idea of who these people were. It was just family tradition to name this way, and "that's the way things are".
So IMO, choose the names that suit you and your beliefs best. To me, it is more important to share with your child the memories you had with your grandmother and know who she is more than anything else.
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Felicity Janice Meriel has a rhythmic flow. I like Felicity. I don't encounter it too often.
As for Meriel, I pronounce it MEHR-ee-uhl. I pronounce Muriel MYOOR-ee-uhl and Murielle myoor-ee-ELL.
As for Meriel, I pronounce it MEHR-ee-uhl. I pronounce Muriel MYOOR-ee-uhl and Murielle myoor-ee-ELL.
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I wasn't really thinking about using a form of Janice. I did look for names that started with "Jan" but I didn't find anything I liked. She mostly went by Jan, but I'm not sure if I should use Jan because that's what she went by or since Janice is her name I should go ahead and use that. I don't even like Jane so I don't know where that came from. :)
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My daughter's middle name is honoring my great-grandmother Clara, and like others here, I felt that I should use the name she went by, not a variation (Clarity) or nickname (Clare). However, on the other hand, if a family member were to use a variation of my name to honor me, ie Katherine instead of Caitlin, I would not be offended in the least and would fully count that as honoring. I was talking to my aunt Leeanne because we were considering a variant of her name (Liana), and she hated her name and urged us not to use it. She would've been more honored by an oblique honoring like a name starting with L.
It really comes down to this: If the honoree is alive, they should be consulted about how they like their name and if they would be more honored by using the exact name or a variant or something more oblique. If the honoree is dead, then it's totally up to you as to how you want to honor them. If YOU see the connection, your daughter will too, and therefore it's honoring. Though you may want to consult a living family member to see if they know something you don't. For instance, for my great-grandmother, I asked my grandfather (her son) before he died if she had gone by any nicknames like Clare. She hadn't, but if she had, I would've considered using Clare to honor.
It really comes down to this: If the honoree is alive, they should be consulted about how they like their name and if they would be more honored by using the exact name or a variant or something more oblique. If the honoree is dead, then it's totally up to you as to how you want to honor them. If YOU see the connection, your daughter will too, and therefore it's honoring. Though you may want to consult a living family member to see if they know something you don't. For instance, for my great-grandmother, I asked my grandfather (her son) before he died if she had gone by any nicknames like Clare. She hadn't, but if she had, I would've considered using Clare to honor.
This message was edited 12/4/2010, 3:23 PM
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Thank you! I would love to be able to ask my grandma how she feels about it and even ask her what names she likes, but she's not well enough. I did ask my aunt if my grandma ever said anything about not liking her name and she said no so that's all I know.
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I never asked my mother whether or not she wanted me to use her name to honor, because I didn't care what she wanted. I'd had it planned since I was fourteen years old, and there was no way she could have talked me out of it. But that's just me.
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If I wanted to use a name that is pronounced mare-ee-al or mare-ee-el, I would use Marielle.
I think Janice would be a fine middle name, and I agree with those who say that to honor someone, you should use their name, not some approximation.
My name is Georgia, but I would not consider Georgeanne or Georgina to be honoring me.
I think Janice would be a fine middle name, and I agree with those who say that to honor someone, you should use their name, not some approximation.
My name is Georgia, but I would not consider Georgeanne or Georgina to be honoring me.
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Muriel is MYOO ree el, and I can't say it appeals to me, though it is a family name twice over. Meriel is lovely, and I agree with your pronunciation.
I agree about the flow, and also I think that the closer you can get to your grandma's actual names, the happier you'll be. Felicity Janice Meriel is really distinctive, in a good way.
I agree about the flow, and also I think that the closer you can get to your grandma's actual names, the happier you'll be. Felicity Janice Meriel is really distinctive, in a good way.
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If you're determined to honor her, why on Earth does it matter whether or not you personally like the name? How important is honoring your mom by giving her name to your daughter? If you really hate the name enough that you'd feel guilty inflicting it on your daughter - then just don't honor. It's not as if anything is really lost if you don't.
I used my dad's name, Bruce, as my son's middle name ... and I still don't like the name Bruce. But I love remembering my dad that way, more than I dislike the name Bruce. I might've honored my grandma in my daughter's middle name too - but her name was Edna. And she died when I was pretty young. So my dislike for the name Edna is greater than my urge to honor Edna. That's really how simple it is. I used Claudia instead. I say that it honors my grandfather, Claude. But I like Claudia so much, that honestly I might've used it anyhow. The "honoring" aspect just made it easier to choose!
I don't think you need to use both your mother's names to honor her. I personally like Merle just fine, and I think someone in your baby's generation will too, but I think it's unnecessary to use two names to honor. If you want to use a second middle name, hey, you could honor someone else, or you could try to honor yourself by naming her using a name that symbolizes something meaningful to you. Even if it's just "Meriel is elegant" ;-)
I used my dad's name, Bruce, as my son's middle name ... and I still don't like the name Bruce. But I love remembering my dad that way, more than I dislike the name Bruce. I might've honored my grandma in my daughter's middle name too - but her name was Edna. And she died when I was pretty young. So my dislike for the name Edna is greater than my urge to honor Edna. That's really how simple it is. I used Claudia instead. I say that it honors my grandfather, Claude. But I like Claudia so much, that honestly I might've used it anyhow. The "honoring" aspect just made it easier to choose!
I don't think you need to use both your mother's names to honor her. I personally like Merle just fine, and I think someone in your baby's generation will too, but I think it's unnecessary to use two names to honor. If you want to use a second middle name, hey, you could honor someone else, or you could try to honor yourself by naming her using a name that symbolizes something meaningful to you. Even if it's just "Meriel is elegant" ;-)
This message was edited 12/4/2010, 9:26 AM
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oops
I should have said "grandmother" ... sorry. ._.
I should have said "grandmother" ... sorry. ._.
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Personally, I'd rather use the name that SHE was called by, not her mn. At one time, I considered naming one of my children after my bff. I thought about using a form of her mn, Marie, but then realized that the mn didn't capture the essence of my friend. Obviously, her fn did. And also, she was given the name Marie to honor HER aunt so it just didn't make much sense to me.
I pronounce Murielle and Meriel differently as well and much prefer Muriel even though I don't like it much (now Mariel and Marielle are a completely different story). And if you don't like Merle, then I wouldn't use it. Your gm's fn or a form of her fn would be more meaningful for you, I believe. Of your choices, I love Felicity Juliet but it doesn't really honor, does it? Then again, there are some cultures that believe matching initials DO honor, so who am I to quibble? Janice has a nice flow with Felicity as well.
ETA: Does your gm feel well enough to ask her opinion on this? The reasoning I'm asking is because I used to belong to another name forum for years. There was a woman who wanted to name her dd after the gm who raised her. The problem was, she didn't like the name much but was going to bite the bullet and just do it. One day, late in the pregnancy, the woman and her gm went to a doctor's appointment. While in the waiting room, she finally told her gm of her plans to name the baby after her. The gm was furious and basically said, "Don't you dare!" Seems she had always hated her name so they compromised and the gm helped select the baby's name. I thought that was a beautiful story at the time and I'm sure it made the gm feel very special, indeed.
I pronounce Murielle and Meriel differently as well and much prefer Muriel even though I don't like it much (now Mariel and Marielle are a completely different story). And if you don't like Merle, then I wouldn't use it. Your gm's fn or a form of her fn would be more meaningful for you, I believe. Of your choices, I love Felicity Juliet but it doesn't really honor, does it? Then again, there are some cultures that believe matching initials DO honor, so who am I to quibble? Janice has a nice flow with Felicity as well.
ETA: Does your gm feel well enough to ask her opinion on this? The reasoning I'm asking is because I used to belong to another name forum for years. There was a woman who wanted to name her dd after the gm who raised her. The problem was, she didn't like the name much but was going to bite the bullet and just do it. One day, late in the pregnancy, the woman and her gm went to a doctor's appointment. While in the waiting room, she finally told her gm of her plans to name the baby after her. The gm was furious and basically said, "Don't you dare!" Seems she had always hated her name so they compromised and the gm helped select the baby's name. I thought that was a beautiful story at the time and I'm sure it made the gm feel very special, indeed.
This message was edited 12/4/2010, 7:43 AM
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So, you're not that close, you don't particularly care for the name, but you still want to honor her? Sorry, but I'm just as confused as your husband. :P
Well, my advice is simple: if you want to honor someone, just use their name. I wouldn't attach Meriel/Murielle onto the combo myself, because I don't think it sounds good. Felicity Janice would be fine.
Well, my advice is simple: if you want to honor someone, just use their name. I wouldn't attach Meriel/Murielle onto the combo myself, because I don't think it sounds good. Felicity Janice would be fine.
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I'm a firm believer that to honor, one should use the exact name. And I've said so here on the board, in a way that particularly applies to your situation, in that my name is Janice just as is your grandmother's.
I read in your post below that your grandmother is too ill for you to ask her what her preferences are. I also read that you were considering Jane as a middle name as a way to honor her.
I've made at least one post here, maybe more, about how insulted I were to feel if my daughter had a baby girl and came to me and said, "Mom, I wanted to honor you, so her middle name is Jane." I've posted about how, though my name is a form of Jane, my name is not Jane itself--I don't relate to Jane the same way I do with Janice, I don't feel the same frisson of recognition when I see it in print, I don't automatically turn my head when I hear someone say "Jane". Jane is not my name. Neither is Jean or Joan or Janine or Janelle or anything else. All I would hear if my daughter said, "Jane is honoring you" would be "I hate your name too much to use it."
I'm no good at finding old posts, otherwise I'd find it and post the link for you.
Anyway, yes, one of my pet peeves is people who say they want to honor and then bend over backwards trying to find any name other than the name of the person they want to honor and desperately try to find some link between the names. And as a Janice, I can tell you that Jane is not Janice. Oh, and neither is any other name that starts with a J! The fact that two names start with the same letter doesn't make them the same name, and I'm always mystified as to how people think this is honoring. If I wouldn't be happy to hear "Jane is honoring you" let's not even discuss how I would feel hearing "Juliet is honoring you." Um, how exactly?
Anyway if you use Janice as a middle name, to me the second middle name, if there is one, doesn't matter. You've got *Janice* in there, and that's your grandmother's name. Felicity Janice Meriel has very good flow, though.
I read in your post below that your grandmother is too ill for you to ask her what her preferences are. I also read that you were considering Jane as a middle name as a way to honor her.
I've made at least one post here, maybe more, about how insulted I were to feel if my daughter had a baby girl and came to me and said, "Mom, I wanted to honor you, so her middle name is Jane." I've posted about how, though my name is a form of Jane, my name is not Jane itself--I don't relate to Jane the same way I do with Janice, I don't feel the same frisson of recognition when I see it in print, I don't automatically turn my head when I hear someone say "Jane". Jane is not my name. Neither is Jean or Joan or Janine or Janelle or anything else. All I would hear if my daughter said, "Jane is honoring you" would be "I hate your name too much to use it."
I'm no good at finding old posts, otherwise I'd find it and post the link for you.
Anyway, yes, one of my pet peeves is people who say they want to honor and then bend over backwards trying to find any name other than the name of the person they want to honor and desperately try to find some link between the names. And as a Janice, I can tell you that Jane is not Janice. Oh, and neither is any other name that starts with a J! The fact that two names start with the same letter doesn't make them the same name, and I'm always mystified as to how people think this is honoring. If I wouldn't be happy to hear "Jane is honoring you" let's not even discuss how I would feel hearing "Juliet is honoring you." Um, how exactly?
Anyway if you use Janice as a middle name, to me the second middle name, if there is one, doesn't matter. You've got *Janice* in there, and that's your grandmother's name. Felicity Janice Meriel has very good flow, though.
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Absolutely agree on all counts.
My middle name is Louise because it is honoring a Louise.
This faux honouring business really annoys me. It's just pathetic - either you want to honour someone or you don't.
As I've said before, if someone is very special to you but you absolutely cannot use their name (rhymes with your surname, is the name of your partner's ex wife or something serious) then an alternative is to use that persons favourite name instead, give them naming rights.
In your situation I'd advise Janice. Use Jane if you want, but don't kid yourself that it's honouring.
My middle name is Louise because it is honoring a Louise.
This faux honouring business really annoys me. It's just pathetic - either you want to honour someone or you don't.
As I've said before, if someone is very special to you but you absolutely cannot use their name (rhymes with your surname, is the name of your partner's ex wife or something serious) then an alternative is to use that persons favourite name instead, give them naming rights.
In your situation I'd advise Janice. Use Jane if you want, but don't kid yourself that it's honouring.
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Ditto
I really want to honor my grandmother if/when I have a baby girl, but I dislike her name (Britt). But really, it is my grandmother i want to honor, not her name, So what if I dislike the name? And I would change Britt to Britney or anything if I liked that more (which I don't). Honoring to me is when you use the same name.
I really want to honor my grandmother if/when I have a baby girl, but I dislike her name (Britt). But really, it is my grandmother i want to honor, not her name, So what if I dislike the name? And I would change Britt to Britney or anything if I liked that more (which I don't). Honoring to me is when you use the same name.
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Where are you from?
My husband has a third cousin from Norway named Elsa-Britt, so I'm curious. :)
My husband has a third cousin from Norway named Elsa-Britt, so I'm curious. :)
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Thank you for your help! Yeah, I understand that Juliet wouldn't be honoring her. Of course I think using any J and M name would be a little better than that. I just have to convince my husband to let me use Janice too though.
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My daughter's middle name is Zoe, to honor my mother, whose first name was Zoe, and my grandmother, whose middle name was Zoe. My husband never liked the name Zoe and he never grew to like it, either, even though it was his daughter's middle name. But he understood my desire to honor my mother and grandmother and keep the name in the family. You might try telling your husband that that's one of the things the middle name slot is for---to use a name for honoring purposes that you wouldn't want to use as a first name. After all, most people are not called by their middle names and most people never even know what one's middle name is. But the family knows, and that's what matters.
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