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I prefer Rafe. It's hard to mispronounce that, and I think it looks the most masculine. There are a few references around to an Arabic name Raif, meaning merciful or forgiving. I think it'd be pronounced with two syllables, rah-EEF. Raif looks unfamiliar enough to me that I might guess it was rah-EEF, or rife. Reif (which I think is sometimes used) has ambiguity too (could be rife).

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But yeah, Raif is acceptable, and so are Reif and various other spellings. Especially if it's a middle name - he'll have to spell it when he tells it anyway, no matter how you decide to spell it.

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I wouldn't worry a lot about a similarity to wraith and rape. Rafe reminds me of strafe, and so what? Amy reminds me of gamey, and Charlotte - harlot, and Violet - violent but that doesn't come to mind when I meet people with those names. If it did I'd think there was something wrong with me.