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The Ralph=RAYF thing throws me too, so I definitely think a more phonetic spelling would be easier to live with. I much prefer Rafe over Raif, but as a middle name, I don't think it matters either way. Rafe/Raif does share a few sounds with both wraith and rape, but it's still distinctly different, and I think a mild similarity like that is not worth worrying about. I know I'd never make the mental leap to form a connection between rape, wraith, and Rafe/Raif.

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I love Desmond Raif, and I also really like Hadrian Raif and William Raif. Morgan Raif sounds like a dashing pirate and is very charming, too.