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Eh, go with Grace Victoria Kay, since you'll be calling her Grace in any case. I think Victoria Grace sounds better, agreeing with your husband, because I love Victoria and merely like Grace. But Grace Victoria flows quite well and I'm not seeing the reason to make her go by her middle name. I've known quite a few people who do, and it's really not a big deal, but I don't see a reason for it unless there's a reason for it. And I'm all for honoring, so I say Grace Victoria Kay.