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HelpRe: Help??
in reply to a message by Get Happy
Well, a lot of it is gut feeling. It’s an art, not a science, and everybody has their own set of criteria. But when it comes to sibsets, these are some of my feelings.
Avoid too many repeating sounds. I wouldn’t want a Lavender and a Lavinia in the same family, despite loving both names. Not only does it sound a little silly, but siblings tend to look similar. People who only interact with the family every so often will already have a hard enough time remembering who is who, and every child wants to be their own person with their own identity. Avoiding repeating sounds is good when pairing fn-mn combos, too. For example, Tamsin Amethyst sounds strange because the two “am” sounds are so close together. I have a friend whose two middle names are “Jacques McLachlan” and he hates it.
Don’t make it super themey. They’re human beings, not a matching tea set. No matter how much you love virtue names, a sibset like Mercy, Constance and Felicity sounds like you’re either a family of puritans, or somebody with immature taste and a love of romance novels. Same with fn-mn combos. I admittedly hate surnames as first names at the best of times, but it sounds doubly ridiculous when the kid has three surnames in a row.
That being said, don’t make the names wildly different in style, either. If the first daughter has a name that’s sweet and short like Tansy, I wouldn’t pair it with a long, elegant grandiose name like Esmeralda. Or naming brothers Butch and Tristan. It sounds off, somehow. Plus, while there will always be sibling rivalry and envy, I always imagine one or both kids being jealous of the other’s name style at some point. It’s the same reason I feel like every kid should have a nickname, or none of them should. Or a song about their name that you plan to sing to them. (Most people on the board aren’t with me on this last part, these are just my personal feelings.)
Pay attention to syllable count, and which syllable has the emphasis. You don’t want it to sound too sing-songy. This part is a little more personal, because some people like the flow of something like “Sylvia and Evelyn” because they’re both three syllables with the emphasis on the first stllable, and some think it sounds silly and repetative.
Keep in mind future siblings, because unless you or your husband have surgery, there’s always that possibility. If you’ve gone with names that have something in common, like an obviously Greek origin or a similar syllable count, would it sound more silly to you or less silly to keep that going? Do you want to have to limit your future choices because of this choice by either avoiding or seeking out a certain type of name?
Say the names out loud together. If we ever have a second girl, my husband really wants me to consider Andromeda. I like it, and it has deep meaning for us. However, apart from it sounding a lot less “sensible” than Theodora, if that makes any sense, I’m not sure I want to be saying “Theodora AND ANDromeda” all the time. You’re going to be introducing the kids together for a long time. Imagine yourself saying it when they’re both still little wee, and also when they’re grownups with professional careers and their own families. If one or both names don’t work well at all ages, rethink.
With fn-mn combos, don’t make them too long, especially if the ln is also hefty. You don’t want the name to sound unweildly, and you want it to fit on forms. Francesca Desdemona de la Fontaine sounds formidable, but also completely impractical. (Although I did get some shivers when I wrote it down... I might save that one for a book character. Bad for real life, though.)
Avoid too many repeating sounds. I wouldn’t want a Lavender and a Lavinia in the same family, despite loving both names. Not only does it sound a little silly, but siblings tend to look similar. People who only interact with the family every so often will already have a hard enough time remembering who is who, and every child wants to be their own person with their own identity. Avoiding repeating sounds is good when pairing fn-mn combos, too. For example, Tamsin Amethyst sounds strange because the two “am” sounds are so close together. I have a friend whose two middle names are “Jacques McLachlan” and he hates it.
Don’t make it super themey. They’re human beings, not a matching tea set. No matter how much you love virtue names, a sibset like Mercy, Constance and Felicity sounds like you’re either a family of puritans, or somebody with immature taste and a love of romance novels. Same with fn-mn combos. I admittedly hate surnames as first names at the best of times, but it sounds doubly ridiculous when the kid has three surnames in a row.
That being said, don’t make the names wildly different in style, either. If the first daughter has a name that’s sweet and short like Tansy, I wouldn’t pair it with a long, elegant grandiose name like Esmeralda. Or naming brothers Butch and Tristan. It sounds off, somehow. Plus, while there will always be sibling rivalry and envy, I always imagine one or both kids being jealous of the other’s name style at some point. It’s the same reason I feel like every kid should have a nickname, or none of them should. Or a song about their name that you plan to sing to them. (Most people on the board aren’t with me on this last part, these are just my personal feelings.)
Pay attention to syllable count, and which syllable has the emphasis. You don’t want it to sound too sing-songy. This part is a little more personal, because some people like the flow of something like “Sylvia and Evelyn” because they’re both three syllables with the emphasis on the first stllable, and some think it sounds silly and repetative.
Keep in mind future siblings, because unless you or your husband have surgery, there’s always that possibility. If you’ve gone with names that have something in common, like an obviously Greek origin or a similar syllable count, would it sound more silly to you or less silly to keep that going? Do you want to have to limit your future choices because of this choice by either avoiding or seeking out a certain type of name?
Say the names out loud together. If we ever have a second girl, my husband really wants me to consider Andromeda. I like it, and it has deep meaning for us. However, apart from it sounding a lot less “sensible” than Theodora, if that makes any sense, I’m not sure I want to be saying “Theodora AND ANDromeda” all the time. You’re going to be introducing the kids together for a long time. Imagine yourself saying it when they’re both still little wee, and also when they’re grownups with professional careers and their own families. If one or both names don’t work well at all ages, rethink.
With fn-mn combos, don’t make them too long, especially if the ln is also hefty. You don’t want the name to sound unweildly, and you want it to fit on forms. Francesca Desdemona de la Fontaine sounds formidable, but also completely impractical. (Although I did get some shivers when I wrote it down... I might save that one for a book character. Bad for real life, though.)
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