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my cousin is named Alexander, but does go by Alex. However, I don't think a lot of people his age are named Alexander (he is a few years older than your nephew will be) If your sister-in-law doesn't want him to be called Alex and he grows up being called Xander, Ander(s), Andy, Lex, Len, Zan, or whatever, by the time he starts school he will identify himself with that nickname instead of Alex and people will respect what he wants to be called.