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HelpRe: Meeting someone with a name you hate
in reply to a message by gigibee
Does it make it hard to relate to the person normally? Or do you get the heebie jeebies, or feel irritated, or what?
Usually, I contain a reaction of dismay or amusement at the name itself. I think depending on why I dislike the name, it can slightly affect how I relate to them. Same as any other expression of taste that clashes with mine; it's a data point on how far our values might diverge. It can cause me to lower my expectations of how much we'll have in common. Not my expectations of the person's goodness though.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Sometimes I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and discover I will like it "in real life." The more I like the person, the stronger that effect is, but liking the person doesn't by itself cause me to like a name I hated.
Sometimes, I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and decide it's not bad after all, but I won't like it. But again, how well I like the person doesn't seem to make a lot of difference. There are plenty of people I like a lot, whose names I don't care for.
Sometimes, though, a person whose personality is disagreeable to me will also have a name I dislike, and it makes me dislike it more.
- mirfak
Usually, I contain a reaction of dismay or amusement at the name itself. I think depending on why I dislike the name, it can slightly affect how I relate to them. Same as any other expression of taste that clashes with mine; it's a data point on how far our values might diverge. It can cause me to lower my expectations of how much we'll have in common. Not my expectations of the person's goodness though.
If you remain in contact with the person, and you like them, do you eventually come to like the name you formerly hated?
Sometimes I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and discover I will like it "in real life." The more I like the person, the stronger that effect is, but liking the person doesn't by itself cause me to like a name I hated.
Sometimes, I'll meet someone with a name I thought I hated, and decide it's not bad after all, but I won't like it. But again, how well I like the person doesn't seem to make a lot of difference. There are plenty of people I like a lot, whose names I don't care for.
Sometimes, though, a person whose personality is disagreeable to me will also have a name I dislike, and it makes me dislike it more.
- mirfak
This message was edited 8/20/2015, 10:52 PM
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