There is much they might have taught Mr. Drysdale and Miss Hathaway...
Th' Eleven Satanic Rules of th' Earth
I Do not give opinions o' advice unless yer axed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
II Do not tell yer troubles t'others unless yer sho'nuff thet they want to hear them, dawgone it.
III When in t'other's lair, show him respeck o' else does not hoof it thar.
IV Eff'n a guess in yer lair annoys yo', treat him cruelly an' wifout mercy.
V Do not make sexual advances unless yer given th' matin' signal, ah reckon.
VI Do not take thet which does not belong t'yo' unless it is a burden to th' varmint an' he cries out t'be relieved, cuss it all t' tarnation.
VII Acsmarts th' power of magic eff'n yo' haf used it successfully t'obtain yer desuhes. Eff'n yo' deny th' power of magic af'er havin' called upon it wif success, yo' will lose all yo' haf obtained, cuss it all t' tarnation.
VIII Do not complain about ennythin' t'which yo' need not subjeck yo'seff.
IX Do not harm li'l chillun.
X Do not kill non-hoomin animals unless attacked o' fo' yer grub.
XI When walkin' in open territo'y, bother no one. Eff'n someone bothers yo', ax him t'stop. Eff'n he does not stop, destroy him, dawgone it.