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I was always going to use my mother's name - Beatrice - for a daughter, and this made it impossible for me to use Laura, either as a fn or a mn. Just too Italian 101. But otherwise I think Laura would have been my first choice. I would never have considered Lauren in any spelling, or Lorraine, because they are so close to Laura but not the real thing: which to me is beautiful, elegant and cheerful. Most people go through stages of not liking their own name; I hope you warm up to your one eventually.