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Help[Opinions] Cora / Kiara
I have a daughter named Kiara. I have a foster daughter, soon to be adopted, called Cora. She is four. It is very confusing in our house! They both respond when either name is said. And my youngest kids don't talk very clearly and so we never know who they're talking about as they say both names the same.
First off, I see there is a Cora on the group. Would you think it'd be confusing with a Kiara as a sister, as well?
For the rest of you... what would you do in this situation? I try to call her Coco as a nickname, but now I've run into another thing I didn't think of... my 3 year old is called JoJo! LOL! So that's not working! I'd like to change her name to Tori upon adoption, it's similar enough, IMHO. I will talk with her about it next month and see what her thoughts are (can't really broach the subject with her until some more things happen legally...)
First off, I see there is a Cora on the group. Would you think it'd be confusing with a Kiara as a sister, as well?
For the rest of you... what would you do in this situation? I try to call her Coco as a nickname, but now I've run into another thing I didn't think of... my 3 year old is called JoJo! LOL! So that's not working! I'd like to change her name to Tori upon adoption, it's similar enough, IMHO. I will talk with her about it next month and see what her thoughts are (can't really broach the subject with her until some more things happen legally...)
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Does she have a middle name? I don't think it's right to change a four year old's name, it would be different if she was like, a year old or something. She could always go by her middle name, or by a contrived nickname. (Like, if she's always happy, call her Smiley)
I have a friend named Karlton Bradley. When he was little they called him K.B. Now everyone calls him Kabe.
(Oh, and I saw your Eowyn post down the board. What is your daughter's first name? My fave combo is Winter Eowyn Eve)
I have a friend named Karlton Bradley. When he was little they called him K.B. Now everyone calls him Kabe.
(Oh, and I saw your Eowyn post down the board. What is your daughter's first name? My fave combo is Winter Eowyn Eve)
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I have six adopted kids and have changed entirely or partially four of their names (and changed the spelling on the fifth)... two of them were 4 & 7 when the name changes occurred, and they were great with it. Actually, for the one who was seven, I just gave him a new middle name (he okayed it) and after the adoption he informed everyone we could only call him by his new middle name! LOL! So I know it IS doable, depending on the child.
I have three foster kids whom I will be adopting (a sibling group), and I won't be changing the eldest (8 yr olds) name at all because I can tell that would not be good for him.
I think Cora would be open to it, but if she is really against it I wouldn't do it. But I want to have some things in mind before I talk to her about it. Her mn is Conswella.
My adopted kids are:
~Deontay James
~Kiara Joy (was Keaira Joilisa, she was 4 at time of adopting and totally oblivious to the change)
~Darnell Stephen (goes by Stephen)
~Raelyn Shayde (was Charlene Raejean, but always went by Rae so we still call her that; she was four and was totally thrilled!)
~Jessie Eowyn (she was two and didn't even realized when I switched her name from Laterrika Tytianna)
~Joseph David (he was an infant so I totally changed his, too, from Sanson Dionte)
the foster kids are
~Dontalyon Eliajah - I will drop that extra "a" from Eliajah because he doesn't know how to spell it; he goes by Don and is pretty attached to and proud of his name - Don Eliajah, but seems embarrassed by Dontalyon, but I really don't think he'll want to change it, so I'm not going to go there with him
~Cora Conswella
~Benjamin Davontaye (he's two, I'm going to change it to Benjamin Shawn, NONE of the kids even knew he had a middle name, same with Cora, they all told me her mn was Princess! ROFL)
I have three foster kids whom I will be adopting (a sibling group), and I won't be changing the eldest (8 yr olds) name at all because I can tell that would not be good for him.
I think Cora would be open to it, but if she is really against it I wouldn't do it. But I want to have some things in mind before I talk to her about it. Her mn is Conswella.
My adopted kids are:
~Deontay James
~Kiara Joy (was Keaira Joilisa, she was 4 at time of adopting and totally oblivious to the change)
~Darnell Stephen (goes by Stephen)
~Raelyn Shayde (was Charlene Raejean, but always went by Rae so we still call her that; she was four and was totally thrilled!)
~Jessie Eowyn (she was two and didn't even realized when I switched her name from Laterrika Tytianna)
~Joseph David (he was an infant so I totally changed his, too, from Sanson Dionte)
the foster kids are
~Dontalyon Eliajah - I will drop that extra "a" from Eliajah because he doesn't know how to spell it; he goes by Don and is pretty attached to and proud of his name - Don Eliajah, but seems embarrassed by Dontalyon, but I really don't think he'll want to change it, so I'm not going to go there with him
~Cora Conswella
~Benjamin Davontaye (he's two, I'm going to change it to Benjamin Shawn, NONE of the kids even knew he had a middle name, same with Cora, they all told me her mn was Princess! ROFL)
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That's a lot of kids! But it's so awesome that you're able to give them all a loving home. :) I've seen situations where older foster children that are adopted want to change their name, like a new start = new name. So I'd leave it up to her, really. I definitely wouldn't just pick something and start calling her that, but that's not what you're suggesting at all anyway. If she's attached to Cora, though, I agree with other posters that yes, it will be confusing for a while but everyone will adjust. Also, you could (if she's willing) call Kiara "Kiki" sometimes to distinguish between the two.
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my three foster kids have three other biological siblings. My friend took placement of two of them, their birth names are Diamond Saraih Tierra, and Matthew William Jr. I know she is changing Diamonds name upon adoption, but not Matthew. The last sibling, niether of us was able to get placement of, but his name is Donta Michael (called "Donte"). the birth mom is pg with another (who is going straight into foster care, unfortunately), but it will be interesting to see what she names her.
There are two older siblings that we have no info but Don said he thought their names were Queenie and Shauntay (spelling?!?!)
There are two older siblings that we have no info but Don said he thought their names were Queenie and Shauntay (spelling?!?!)
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Since her name is Cora Conswella, could you call her CiCi rather than Coco? Also, the nn Cori would be just as different as Tori but would not necessitate a name change.
Four seems so old to change a name, especially a lovely name like Cora. Even if I didn't understand it and it didn't bother me at the time of the change, I think it would bother me later when I figured out I lost my name over a convenience issue. It would bug me.
edited for funky spelling
Four seems so old to change a name, especially a lovely name like Cora. Even if I didn't understand it and it didn't bother me at the time of the change, I think it would bother me later when I figured out I lost my name over a convenience issue. It would bug me.
edited for funky spelling
This message was edited 11/9/2007, 8:15 AM
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It doesn't seem very nice to make the kid change her name over this. I'd stick it out. Your little ones won't be hard to understand forever.
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I agree
The child seems much too old to change her name now. I have four kids, and I can't imagine changing one's name at that age. In fact I remember being that age, even though it's been quite a while, and I can't imagine having my name changed. I am who I am, and I always have been, and I always will be.
The child seems much too old to change her name now. I have four kids, and I can't imagine changing one's name at that age. In fact I remember being that age, even though it's been quite a while, and I can't imagine having my name changed. I am who I am, and I always have been, and I always will be.
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Agreed.
Four is awfully old to be changing a kid's name. My mother's name was changed when she was only two and a half, and it was hard enough then. She remembers it as being a very confusing time. I think changing Cora's name would be confusing for her and for your other children. What if you left her name as Cora and called her Cori? Or you could expand CoCo to Coconut to get diminish it's similarity to JoJo. If you feel you must change Cora, I'd go with Coral. The extra l sound should take care of the similarity with Kiara, and it's much more similar to her original name than Tori is, imo.
Of course, all of this is just my opinion, and you know your children so the final decision is up to you and I'm sure you'll make one that's right for them!
Edited to add you could also change it to Corinne, if you decided to change it.
Four is awfully old to be changing a kid's name. My mother's name was changed when she was only two and a half, and it was hard enough then. She remembers it as being a very confusing time. I think changing Cora's name would be confusing for her and for your other children. What if you left her name as Cora and called her Cori? Or you could expand CoCo to Coconut to get diminish it's similarity to JoJo. If you feel you must change Cora, I'd go with Coral. The extra l sound should take care of the similarity with Kiara, and it's much more similar to her original name than Tori is, imo.
Of course, all of this is just my opinion, and you know your children so the final decision is up to you and I'm sure you'll make one that's right for them!
Edited to add you could also change it to Corinne, if you decided to change it.
This message was edited 11/9/2007, 6:51 AM
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My humble opinion (being a Jen with a brother named Jon) is that they'll get confused every once in a while, but after a while they'll get used to it. My brother and I still answer to the same name sometimes, which is convenient for Mom because then she can give chores to BOTH of us. :-D
Have you tried calling her Corrie? Like quigonjecca said, could you use her middle name? I hate to see a child having their name changed at four.
Have you tried calling her Corrie? Like quigonjecca said, could you use her middle name? I hate to see a child having their name changed at four.
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