you are absolutely right! This way to call a woman "Mrs. PETER
Smith" sounds extremely old fashioned and unfair (at least to someone living in Northern Europe). I remember that I was very surprised when I first heard about it (I guess it was in an American movie...).
Here (I can only speak for Scandinavia and Germany) the married couple can decide which surname they would like to keep.Maria
Nilsson and Per
Jansson can be
& Åke Nilsson
& Åke Jansson
Nilsson & Åke Jansson
after their marriage. But you won't ever call Maria
"fru Åke Nilsson", that would sound as crazy as "herr Maria
There's even the possibility of double names (which I don't like at all by the way)Maria
Schmidt and Paul
Müller can be
Müller-Schmidt & Paul
Schmidt & Paul
Once, in Germany, I heard someone call a lady "Frau Dr. Wegner" even though it was not her title but her husband's. But that's very old fashioned and not common nowadays.
Are there any other traditions or customs in other countries? Would be interesting!