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HelpRe: ETA, omg
in reply to a message by Anneza
I have not actually read your response, so my apologies if this is unjustified.
I'm guessing, though, that you're encouraging me not to use the name, based on your subject. I assume, based again on the subject, that you absolutely do not give a f about my feelings. I would like to explain why keeping this positive was so important to me, though.
Last May, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. This past May, almost exactly a year later, I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. Yesterday, when I had the ultrasound, I measured at 10 weeks, which makes passing that dreaded 8-9 week period quite encouraging. I also got to see on the screen, not a blob or peanut l, but a head, trunk, legs, and arms. I got to see a heart thumping away and obvious limbs kicking and squirming. I had nothing negative show up in the physical exam or ultrasound. I was given a gift of hope, and for the first time in almost 5 weeks, really feel like I could breathe, relax, and savor every moment of this pregnancy.
I do want to thank you, though, for your subject. Had you not titled it as such, I probably would have read it. I didn't know I needed to watch out for you. I knew not to read any responses of the two that have replied to you as of the time of starting this reply, but the fact that those are the names I see responding to you further justifies my assumption that I should not read your post.
I don't expect a response, and in fact, I probably won't even read it. I just hope that you will take this as a reminder that there are real people on the other side of the screen. Real feelings, real emotions, real pains, and real joys. Just something to keep in mind I the future.
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Love my little sparrow, Caemlyn Sparrow Gail, and my Hucklebaby, David Royce Huckleberry "Huck"
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I'm guessing, though, that you're encouraging me not to use the name, based on your subject. I assume, based again on the subject, that you absolutely do not give a f about my feelings. I would like to explain why keeping this positive was so important to me, though.
Last May, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. This past May, almost exactly a year later, I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. Yesterday, when I had the ultrasound, I measured at 10 weeks, which makes passing that dreaded 8-9 week period quite encouraging. I also got to see on the screen, not a blob or peanut l, but a head, trunk, legs, and arms. I got to see a heart thumping away and obvious limbs kicking and squirming. I had nothing negative show up in the physical exam or ultrasound. I was given a gift of hope, and for the first time in almost 5 weeks, really feel like I could breathe, relax, and savor every moment of this pregnancy.
I do want to thank you, though, for your subject. Had you not titled it as such, I probably would have read it. I didn't know I needed to watch out for you. I knew not to read any responses of the two that have replied to you as of the time of starting this reply, but the fact that those are the names I see responding to you further justifies my assumption that I should not read your post.
I don't expect a response, and in fact, I probably won't even read it. I just hope that you will take this as a reminder that there are real people on the other side of the screen. Real feelings, real emotions, real pains, and real joys. Just something to keep in mind I the future.
-------------------
Love my little sparrow, Caemlyn Sparrow Gail, and my Hucklebaby, David Royce Huckleberry "Huck"
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Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Replies
I suppose you're not going to read this, either
My daughter has had four miscarriages. That doesn't mean she has some kind of right to never hear anything negative about the names she's chosen for the three children she has, particularly if she goes on a names opinions board, albeit not asking directly for an opinion. I don't get where you're coming from, to be honest. And I don't get why you even made the OP.
Please when you come here, park your "real emotions, real pains, and real joys" at the door, because this name opinions board is really not the place for them.
My daughter has had four miscarriages. That doesn't mean she has some kind of right to never hear anything negative about the names she's chosen for the three children she has, particularly if she goes on a names opinions board, albeit not asking directly for an opinion. I don't get where you're coming from, to be honest. And I don't get why you even made the OP.
Please when you come here, park your "real emotions, real pains, and real joys" at the door, because this name opinions board is really not the place for them.
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Honestly, I think stuff like that is best left to mommy boards. This isn't a mommy board, which is why I kept coming back after finding the place. I like how we discuss names in a way that is honest and not pandering, and I would hate to see things change because BtN is really one-of-a-kind.
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Totally. And this:
I didn't know I needed to watch out for you. I knew not to read any responses of the two that have replied to you as of the time of starting this reply, but the fact that those are the names I see responding to you further justifies my assumption that I should not read your post.
makes me feel as though I, along with RoxStar, am being singled out because I'm not afraid to give an honest negative opinion, and I resent that. I'm really angry that someone is using the fact that she's had bad experiences to try to censor the board.
"Watch out for you"? *eyeroll*
I didn't know I needed to watch out for you. I knew not to read any responses of the two that have replied to you as of the time of starting this reply, but the fact that those are the names I see responding to you further justifies my assumption that I should not read your post.
makes me feel as though I, along with RoxStar, am being singled out because I'm not afraid to give an honest negative opinion, and I resent that. I'm really angry that someone is using the fact that she's had bad experiences to try to censor the board.
"Watch out for you"? *eyeroll*
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this is so funny ...
Though in a very bitter kind of way, because 1. Neither I nor Aneza was rude, nor did we call out Jessica personally for her name. and
2. Nearly all the responses were either negative or at best, "save it for a middle name."
If Jessica had not gotten opinions, hers would have been one of those sad posts that get just one response, or none at all.
I'm honestly amazed to see a grown woman, a mother of two and one on the way, behaving in such a spoiled, pouty, juvenile fashion.
Though in a very bitter kind of way, because 1. Neither I nor Aneza was rude, nor did we call out Jessica personally for her name. and
2. Nearly all the responses were either negative or at best, "save it for a middle name."
If Jessica had not gotten opinions, hers would have been one of those sad posts that get just one response, or none at all.
I'm honestly amazed to see a grown woman, a mother of two and one on the way, behaving in such a spoiled, pouty, juvenile fashion.
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Yeah, I'm also getting tired of the "mean girl" accusations going around. FFS, it's an OPINIONS board. I get negative opinions all the time, but I don't take it personally because it's not worth it. Someone trashes a name you like? Give them the finger and like it, anyway. Really, it's NOT a big deal.
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Re:
People do care about your feelings, and they do know they are addressing someone real. However, you are posting a name on a Name Opinions board, where you know perfectly well that people will give you their honest opinion on any name you mention, positive or negative - just like they're supposed to. That's what people come here for! It just doesn't function as a support group, and it's not realistic to expect that.
Anneza was actually not mean to you at all - nobody was.
People do care about your feelings, and they do know they are addressing someone real. However, you are posting a name on a Name Opinions board, where you know perfectly well that people will give you their honest opinion on any name you mention, positive or negative - just like they're supposed to. That's what people come here for! It just doesn't function as a support group, and it's not realistic to expect that.
Anneza was actually not mean to you at all - nobody was.
This message was edited 9/4/2014, 9:18 AM
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Re:
Like I said, I didn't read her post, but I think it's safe to say that if the subject is "Omg" and Rox agrees, it's likely nothing positive. I wasn't looking for opinions this time., though I have in the past, on this exact name.
Like I said, I didn't read her post, but I think it's safe to say that if the subject is "Omg" and Rox agrees, it's likely nothing positive. I wasn't looking for opinions this time., though I have in the past, on this exact name.
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Re:
My point isn't really about whether or not she was offensive. Your accusation against Anneza and others of being inconsiderate of you, by posting their reactions to a name mentioned on a Name Opinions board, just isn't quite a reasonable or fair accusation.
I personally didn't respond to your post because you asked for encouragement only; I would like to avoid feeling like I am "bringing anyone down." But I would not have had to deliberately disdain your feelings in order to post my opinion of the name - since the topic here is always name opinions, opinions of names are all always fair to post, regardless of any other context.
I hope you can understand this without feeling personally offended. If you want to use the internet to share personal stories and receive support and congratulations, or ask for only positive opinions on a name you like, that's fine - but it turns out that a Name Opinions board isn't a good place for that. I sincerely congratulate you on your pregnancy and wish you well. And I'm taking a liberty with this forum by doing so.
My point isn't really about whether or not she was offensive. Your accusation against Anneza and others of being inconsiderate of you, by posting their reactions to a name mentioned on a Name Opinions board, just isn't quite a reasonable or fair accusation.
I personally didn't respond to your post because you asked for encouragement only; I would like to avoid feeling like I am "bringing anyone down." But I would not have had to deliberately disdain your feelings in order to post my opinion of the name - since the topic here is always name opinions, opinions of names are all always fair to post, regardless of any other context.
I hope you can understand this without feeling personally offended. If you want to use the internet to share personal stories and receive support and congratulations, or ask for only positive opinions on a name you like, that's fine - but it turns out that a Name Opinions board isn't a good place for that. I sincerely congratulate you on your pregnancy and wish you well. And I'm taking a liberty with this forum by doing so.
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Re:
My main point, though, which I realize I didn't make clear, is that when I ask specifically not to bring me down and a response is "omg"...
That IS offensive. Just the implications of it. Puck didn't like the name either, but it wasn't expressed as "omg." That response I essentially dismissed, not because it had not value, but because it didn't answer my question.
Compare it to asking which spelling one prefers, Ann or Anne. If a response is "I don't like the name," doesn't really answer the question or offer any help. The person isn't asking for opinions on the name Anne, but asking a specific question. But a response of "Omg" and whatever followed would just be, I don't know, disrespectful I guess.
My main point, though, which I realize I didn't make clear, is that when I ask specifically not to bring me down and a response is "omg"...
That IS offensive. Just the implications of it. Puck didn't like the name either, but it wasn't expressed as "omg." That response I essentially dismissed, not because it had not value, but because it didn't answer my question.
Compare it to asking which spelling one prefers, Ann or Anne. If a response is "I don't like the name," doesn't really answer the question or offer any help. The person isn't asking for opinions on the name Anne, but asking a specific question. But a response of "Omg" and whatever followed would just be, I don't know, disrespectful I guess.
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Re:
Oh. It seemed to me that the "omg" wasn't in shock about the name, but in surprised dismay at having suddenly noticed, as an afterthought, a potential for teasing. The "omg" wouldn't have made sense without the edit. Go ahead and read what she put. It's not hurtful. Maybe you will feel less hurt.
I think that you're not the only person I've seen post asking for opinions on a potential babyname, who feels as though the responses are sort of personal. I guess that is legit - I think it's expected, and people are generally nice about it. I even thought Anneza was being extra nice. Puck sounded more judgmental than Anneza by far, IMHO. "Your child is not God" - as if you thought that?? As if naming your child Hosanna implies you think the child is God? Hm. Whatever. lol. Anyway, it's still not personal, yay.
Btw I like Rain. =) not that you ought to care what I think.
Oh. It seemed to me that the "omg" wasn't in shock about the name, but in surprised dismay at having suddenly noticed, as an afterthought, a potential for teasing. The "omg" wouldn't have made sense without the edit. Go ahead and read what she put. It's not hurtful. Maybe you will feel less hurt.
I think that you're not the only person I've seen post asking for opinions on a potential babyname, who feels as though the responses are sort of personal. I guess that is legit - I think it's expected, and people are generally nice about it. I even thought Anneza was being extra nice. Puck sounded more judgmental than Anneza by far, IMHO. "Your child is not God" - as if you thought that?? As if naming your child Hosanna implies you think the child is God? Hm. Whatever. lol. Anyway, it's still not personal, yay.
Btw I like Rain. =) not that you ought to care what I think.
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Thanks
Ok. Thanks for that. I will read it, then. I appreciate it.
Ok. Thanks for that. I will read it, then. I appreciate it.
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