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Helpevery name is unisex.
in reply to a message by CodyRhodesDiva
Matthew may be a name chosen for a boy, but Matthew may end up feeling like a girl. Jennifer may be chosen for a girl, but Jennifer may end up feeling like a boy. And yeah, it's likely they would then change their name to reflect their true gender, but the time spent being called Matthew or Jennifer wasn't time as another gender.
Or Matthew doesn't feel like either a boy or girl, and so doesn't find a name that better fits, and so stays as Matthew. maybe they would go by Morgan, which is commonly associated as gender neutral. whatever name they're most comfortable with, is what fits their gender.
Or Matthew doesn't feel like either a boy or girl, and so doesn't find a name that better fits, and so stays as Matthew. maybe they would go by Morgan, which is commonly associated as gender neutral. whatever name they're most comfortable with, is what fits their gender.
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I disagree with this.
I think that gender association with names is totally different than gender identity in people.
Yes, a Matthew may feel/be a girl, but that doesn't make the name Matthew a feminine name.
Your name doesn't define your gender, but some names do have assigned genders. If a person chooses to pick a name outside of the gender it is associated with (James for a girl, for instance)... that just means that you used a male name on a girl - it doesn't automatically make the name feminine or unisex.
I don't mean to be controversial - I just want to be clear that names and identities are two different things.
I think that gender association with names is totally different than gender identity in people.
Yes, a Matthew may feel/be a girl, but that doesn't make the name Matthew a feminine name.
Your name doesn't define your gender, but some names do have assigned genders. If a person chooses to pick a name outside of the gender it is associated with (James for a girl, for instance)... that just means that you used a male name on a girl - it doesn't automatically make the name feminine or unisex.
I don't mean to be controversial - I just want to be clear that names and identities are two different things.
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Well, yeah- assigned genders. I don't mean bam, James is unexceptionally feminine or unisex now- that would be disrespectful I think in some cultures that ARE open with gender identity, but have names with a specific gender (though James is an English name).
I mean more like every name has the potential to be unisex. And yeah, sure, James is heavily associated as a male name, but I think it would be rude to tell someone, "oh okay you're x, but you have a boy name" when they describes themself.
I don't mind much when people casually referring to this or that as a masculine/feminine name. It's fixating on it which bugs me.
Like, for example... I take a Hungarian culture class, and often the teacher would pause when coming across a name and go, "boy or girl?", to quiz students. Ex. Zsolt is boy, Aniko is a girl. Sometimes there would be a joke about a boy being named Aniko or whatever. Once I was actually asked the gender of a (male-given) name I secretly wanted for myself (but can't legally have).
My birth name is very typically, traditionally feminine- I constantly here "oh, what a gorgeous girl's name!", either casually by people who know nothing about my gender, or in defiance to it-"but you have such a nice girl's name, why would you....". If names weren't so immediately gendered, I think I would feel a little more comfortable with my own.
I'm glad you understand, and that you point out how identities are separate from observable details. I just don't like the whole "oh, that's a boy name on a girl"/vice versa idea.
I mean more like every name has the potential to be unisex. And yeah, sure, James is heavily associated as a male name, but I think it would be rude to tell someone, "oh okay you're x, but you have a boy name" when they describes themself.
I don't mind much when people casually referring to this or that as a masculine/feminine name. It's fixating on it which bugs me.
Like, for example... I take a Hungarian culture class, and often the teacher would pause when coming across a name and go, "boy or girl?", to quiz students. Ex. Zsolt is boy, Aniko is a girl. Sometimes there would be a joke about a boy being named Aniko or whatever. Once I was actually asked the gender of a (male-given) name I secretly wanted for myself (but can't legally have).
My birth name is very typically, traditionally feminine- I constantly here "oh, what a gorgeous girl's name!", either casually by people who know nothing about my gender, or in defiance to it-"but you have such a nice girl's name, why would you....". If names weren't so immediately gendered, I think I would feel a little more comfortable with my own.
I'm glad you understand, and that you point out how identities are separate from observable details. I just don't like the whole "oh, that's a boy name on a girl"/vice versa idea.
This message was edited 2/17/2015, 3:04 PM
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