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HelpRe: The name my husband always wanted vs. My Dream
in reply to a message by LV51sfan91
I say just chill and think about it, and if you don't insist on anything he can't either. You have a lot of time, and the last thing you need is to make the name a point of argument that will last your whole pregnancy and leave someone feeling slightly bitter on birth day.
No matter what is said now, it's not a done deal. If it comes up, I'd just say, "If it's a girl, I know we were thinking Lillian but I just keep thinking about Brooklyn, I love it so much." - and just see what he says, and don't react to it. I'd just promise to keep thinking about it, and ask him to do the same.
I wouldn't try to make deals over the middle name at this point. Until he signals that he's willing to talk compromise. I'd try to back off and let him consider the possibility of not calling her Lillian after all ... and for myself, accept the possibility of not calling her Brooklyn.
I wouldn't mention the dream. It doesn't give you any leverage and I think it could come off as manipulative.
Eskenazi isn't a very good middle name IMO, nor does it honor his mother in the same way Lillian does.
You could name her Lillian Brooklyn (it does sound nice), and call her Brooklyn. I think it's an appealing option you could think about offering, if he negotiates.
I don't agree that Lilly / Lily is inevitable. You just use Lillian all the time, and voila, you've got it. If someone calls her Lily you say, "we don't use Lily, it's Lillian, same as her dad's ma" and they either comply or they're a jerk. Maybe she'll prefer Lilly someday but by then you'd be too happy to have a growing daughter with her own opinions, to care.
- mirfak
No matter what is said now, it's not a done deal. If it comes up, I'd just say, "If it's a girl, I know we were thinking Lillian but I just keep thinking about Brooklyn, I love it so much." - and just see what he says, and don't react to it. I'd just promise to keep thinking about it, and ask him to do the same.
I wouldn't try to make deals over the middle name at this point. Until he signals that he's willing to talk compromise. I'd try to back off and let him consider the possibility of not calling her Lillian after all ... and for myself, accept the possibility of not calling her Brooklyn.
I wouldn't mention the dream. It doesn't give you any leverage and I think it could come off as manipulative.
Eskenazi isn't a very good middle name IMO, nor does it honor his mother in the same way Lillian does.
You could name her Lillian Brooklyn (it does sound nice), and call her Brooklyn. I think it's an appealing option you could think about offering, if he negotiates.
I don't agree that Lilly / Lily is inevitable. You just use Lillian all the time, and voila, you've got it. If someone calls her Lily you say, "we don't use Lily, it's Lillian, same as her dad's ma" and they either comply or they're a jerk. Maybe she'll prefer Lilly someday but by then you'd be too happy to have a growing daughter with her own opinions, to care.
- mirfak
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Replies
The Dream
When I was pregnant with my daughter my phone autocorrected something to Merton. I was newly pregnant - after years of trying - and I thought it was a sign I was going to have a boy and that I should name him Thomas or Merton after Thomas Merton.
I had a girl.
When I was pregnant with my daughter my phone autocorrected something to Merton. I was newly pregnant - after years of trying - and I thought it was a sign I was going to have a boy and that I should name him Thomas or Merton after Thomas Merton.
I had a girl.
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ditto about the dream ...
It's not a good idea to set too much stock in what you see and hear in a dream, even if you think it's God talking to you in a dream. I mean, you have dreams every night, and you don't and shouldn't and wouldn't want to give most of them any particular significance, let alone the kind of weight that leads you to a permanent life decision for somebody else.
It seems you're attaching a lot of weight to this dream because it tells you something you already want to hear. Not saying it's a bad thing, but it's remarkable how much more readily people accept "God's will" when it happens to line up with their own wishes.
It's not a good idea to set too much stock in what you see and hear in a dream, even if you think it's God talking to you in a dream. I mean, you have dreams every night, and you don't and shouldn't and wouldn't want to give most of them any particular significance, let alone the kind of weight that leads you to a permanent life decision for somebody else.
It seems you're attaching a lot of weight to this dream because it tells you something you already want to hear. Not saying it's a bad thing, but it's remarkable how much more readily people accept "God's will" when it happens to line up with their own wishes.
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