Aisyss R. --
Honey, wasn't there some god in some culture somewhere named
Isis?
Can you spell that? Yeah, me neither.
Sawyar
Mae --
Ah saw yar
Mae down at that thur farm over yonder...
Mirakle Mahari Jonni -- It's a Mirakle that we figured out how to have a kid, given that neither of us ever graduated sixth grade.
Wraine MyAngel --
Rein MyAngel in...
Rain, my angel, rain!... or Arraign my angel (in which case she's not so angelic after all)
Parrish B. -- is death really something you want to wish on your child?
Timberlee M. -- like
Kimberly, except all naturey and stuff!
Cinnamon
Joyce -- Also known as
Joyce.
Cinnamon
Diane -- Also known as
Diane.
Dezstany J. -- your Dezstany lies in a strip club, honey.
Illinois A. -- Well, all the other place names are taken!
BOYS
Rowdy
Bo -- withdrawn and quiet
Cater L. -- Cater-waiter
Reef I. -- As in coral or marijuana?
Modesto -- the next manwhore.
GIRLS
Bella-Donna
Josephine -- POISON
Harper Belle -- I can practically taste the grits.
Eden Deslauriers --
Eden de-whosiwhat?
Brooklyn Meadow -- I thought they bulldozed those to put in condos.
Eshperancah Eleessabette -- Call me
Ellie.
Sweet H. -- total brat
Breezy
Ann -- for some reason, I feel as though she's destined for chronic flatulence.
Eilonwy
Francis -- it's almost Welsh!
Macartney
Shane -- hahaha, Beatles much?
Calico
Cheyenne -- Visit the Humane Society today! Don't forget to spay and neuter your uneducated parents!
Ja'Nylah Sha'Liya
Unique -- she certainly will be.
Tricity
Dawn -- no, 'tricity comes from lightning. Not the sun.
Furie
Cyan -- Is this Fury or Furry?
Leadgrie Mi'Love -- If I loved my child, I wouldn't use this.
BOYS
Alec Xander Justify Corleone -- Sounds like something you'd hear at a Mafia trial: "
Alexander. Justify Corleone over here."
Bristol Britton -- Yep, that's where it is. If you go there, they'll laugh.
Rocky Cruz -- I'm sorry it wasn't better.
Seven B. -- Is this the number of the hotel room where he was conceived?
Cort James -- and Dayt his little sister.