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My daughter's middle name is honoring my great-grandmother Clara, and like others here, I felt that I should use the name she went by, not a variation (Clarity) or nickname (Clare). However, on the other hand, if a family member were to use a variation of my name to honor me, ie Katherine instead of Caitlin, I would not be offended in the least and would fully count that as honoring. I was talking to my aunt Leeanne because we were considering a variant of her name (Liana), and she hated her name and urged us not to use it. She would've been more honored by an oblique honoring like a name starting with L.

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It really comes down to this: If the honoree is alive, they should be consulted about how they like their name and if they would be more honored by using the exact name or a variant or something more oblique. If the honoree is dead, then it's totally up to you as to how you want to honor them. If YOU see the connection, your daughter will too, and therefore it's honoring. Though you may want to consult a living family member to see if they know something you don't. For instance, for my great-grandmother, I asked my grandfather (her son) before he died if she had gone by any nicknames like Clare. She hadn't, but if she had, I would've considered using Clare to honor.

This message was edited 12/4/2010, 3:23 PM