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HelpRe: A Little Dilemma With Honour Names (Warning: long!)
in reply to a message by Cynthiana
First off, I should say that I am always in favor of honoring names. I think it is a great blessing to the parent or family member or at least piques the interest of young minds to find out about their family history. Tons of people only remember a long-gone relative because they were named after her/him.
If it helps, I know a lot of people who name their children after themselves (even women) in the first or middle spot. Its fine because usually a spouse or partner is there to give input on whether the choice is ridiculous or not.
In your case, the decision to name your daughter "Mary something" is now a tradition for two generations... not a personal preference in names. YOU know you would be naming her after your mother, so your daughter will grow to know that too. Other people don't really matter in that equation.
As for your son... I guess I can see why you don't like James. I don't technically consider it tacky though. My BIL has the middle name George. So does, literally, every single male member of his family. So, when he had a son, everyone just knew the middle name would be George. I see that as similar to your husbands situation.
If you used James, instead of your husband's middle, I would go all the way and simply make him a Junior. Same exact name. Someone has to start that line...
I know a friend who is a IV. His name is William Theophilus [lastname] the IV. Not many people get to say that, and it's cool... even though they all went by different names (William, Billy, Will, Bill and BT).
So - to answer your question... James William and Mary Elle would not look stupid naming their children William _______ and Mary _________. They would look like they went the traditional route with naming. ]
(if it helps, I gave my daughter a name after me in the middle spot, and might do it again).
If it helps, I know a lot of people who name their children after themselves (even women) in the first or middle spot. Its fine because usually a spouse or partner is there to give input on whether the choice is ridiculous or not.
In your case, the decision to name your daughter "Mary something" is now a tradition for two generations... not a personal preference in names. YOU know you would be naming her after your mother, so your daughter will grow to know that too. Other people don't really matter in that equation.
As for your son... I guess I can see why you don't like James. I don't technically consider it tacky though. My BIL has the middle name George. So does, literally, every single male member of his family. So, when he had a son, everyone just knew the middle name would be George. I see that as similar to your husbands situation.
If you used James, instead of your husband's middle, I would go all the way and simply make him a Junior. Same exact name. Someone has to start that line...
I know a friend who is a IV. His name is William Theophilus [lastname] the IV. Not many people get to say that, and it's cool... even though they all went by different names (William, Billy, Will, Bill and BT).
So - to answer your question... James William and Mary Elle would not look stupid naming their children William _______ and Mary _________. They would look like they went the traditional route with naming. ]
(if it helps, I gave my daughter a name after me in the middle spot, and might do it again).
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Replies
Thanks for your opinion. I do see your point on the Junior issue, and it's something I've been thinking of too. Only problem is, DH doesn't really identify as a 'James' -- He's always been William. He says that James could be a title for all he cares, but he does appreciate that he shares it with his closest male relatives. Right now, he's much more hyped on us calling a son William rather than James, as it would honor several deceased relatives of his (so it does honor - just not his father). However, IDK if he's not telling me how he really feels as I told him at the very beginning of our relationship: "there's no way I'm having a 'James'". Maybe I'll try to bring it up to him again.
Another thing I have in mind is that I was supposed to be a III, had I been a boy. My father doesn't have any other children, so I'm kind of feeling that I should use his name too.. This is just too much to comprehend right now, and I'm glad I've started thinking ahead so I won't have to stress all the way through a pregnancy.
Another thing I have in mind is that I was supposed to be a III, had I been a boy. My father doesn't have any other children, so I'm kind of feeling that I should use his name too.. This is just too much to comprehend right now, and I'm glad I've started thinking ahead so I won't have to stress all the way through a pregnancy.
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Ah. I see. Well William plus a name from your father would likely be lovely.
We wanted to use honoring middle names of family members, but got into the dilemma of who to honor and who not to... and whether people would be upset about it if we didn't use their name. So... we decided to honor our cultures instead.
In your case, if you like William... I would say that you have a great choice there as it's great as a first or middle. And... knowing the name your father has and working it in there might make naming a piece of cake for you guys.
Just remember though - no one has a right to be offended because of what you name your child. Even if they express displeasure at first, people forget about names once a baby is born and they love that little kid.
We wanted to use honoring middle names of family members, but got into the dilemma of who to honor and who not to... and whether people would be upset about it if we didn't use their name. So... we decided to honor our cultures instead.
In your case, if you like William... I would say that you have a great choice there as it's great as a first or middle. And... knowing the name your father has and working it in there might make naming a piece of cake for you guys.
Just remember though - no one has a right to be offended because of what you name your child. Even if they express displeasure at first, people forget about names once a baby is born and they love that little kid.
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