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HelpRe: every name is unisex.
in reply to a message by coronule
I disagree with this.
I think that gender association with names is totally different than gender identity in people.
Yes, a Matthew may feel/be a girl, but that doesn't make the name Matthew a feminine name.
Your name doesn't define your gender, but some names do have assigned genders. If a person chooses to pick a name outside of the gender it is associated with (James for a girl, for instance)... that just means that you used a male name on a girl - it doesn't automatically make the name feminine or unisex.
I don't mean to be controversial - I just want to be clear that names and identities are two different things.
______________________________________________
"How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single moment before starting to improve upon the world." -Ann Frank
Mama to my "bright star" Clarisse Bituin and Wife to Julius. Mahal na mahal from our little family to yours!
I think that gender association with names is totally different than gender identity in people.
Yes, a Matthew may feel/be a girl, but that doesn't make the name Matthew a feminine name.
Your name doesn't define your gender, but some names do have assigned genders. If a person chooses to pick a name outside of the gender it is associated with (James for a girl, for instance)... that just means that you used a male name on a girl - it doesn't automatically make the name feminine or unisex.
I don't mean to be controversial - I just want to be clear that names and identities are two different things.
______________________________________________
"How wonderful it is that no one need wait a single moment before starting to improve upon the world." -Ann Frank
Mama to my "bright star" Clarisse Bituin and Wife to Julius. Mahal na mahal from our little family to yours!
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Replies
Well, yeah- assigned genders. I don't mean bam, James is unexceptionally feminine or unisex now- that would be disrespectful I think in some cultures that ARE open with gender identity, but have names with a specific gender (though James is an English name).
I mean more like every name has the potential to be unisex. And yeah, sure, James is heavily associated as a male name, but I think it would be rude to tell someone, "oh okay you're x, but you have a boy name" when they describes themself.
I don't mind much when people casually referring to this or that as a masculine/feminine name. It's fixating on it which bugs me.
Like, for example... I take a Hungarian culture class, and often the teacher would pause when coming across a name and go, "boy or girl?", to quiz students. Ex. Zsolt is boy, Aniko is a girl. Sometimes there would be a joke about a boy being named Aniko or whatever. Once I was actually asked the gender of a (male-given) name I secretly wanted for myself (but can't legally have).
My birth name is very typically, traditionally feminine- I constantly here "oh, what a gorgeous girl's name!", either casually by people who know nothing about my gender, or in defiance to it-"but you have such a nice girl's name, why would you....". If names weren't so immediately gendered, I think I would feel a little more comfortable with my own.
I'm glad you understand, and that you point out how identities are separate from observable details. I just don't like the whole "oh, that's a boy name on a girl"/vice versa idea.
I mean more like every name has the potential to be unisex. And yeah, sure, James is heavily associated as a male name, but I think it would be rude to tell someone, "oh okay you're x, but you have a boy name" when they describes themself.
I don't mind much when people casually referring to this or that as a masculine/feminine name. It's fixating on it which bugs me.
Like, for example... I take a Hungarian culture class, and often the teacher would pause when coming across a name and go, "boy or girl?", to quiz students. Ex. Zsolt is boy, Aniko is a girl. Sometimes there would be a joke about a boy being named Aniko or whatever. Once I was actually asked the gender of a (male-given) name I secretly wanted for myself (but can't legally have).
My birth name is very typically, traditionally feminine- I constantly here "oh, what a gorgeous girl's name!", either casually by people who know nothing about my gender, or in defiance to it-"but you have such a nice girl's name, why would you....". If names weren't so immediately gendered, I think I would feel a little more comfortable with my own.
I'm glad you understand, and that you point out how identities are separate from observable details. I just don't like the whole "oh, that's a boy name on a girl"/vice versa idea.
This message was edited 2/17/2015, 3:04 PM
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