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HelpRe: Antonia doesn't have to be Toni (carry it on)
in reply to a message by Millie
No one should ever suffer a name to be different than the name s/he provides. If the parent guardian is the name giver--and the child seems to respond, or prefer, one version better than another - cannot this child / person use it?
Sadly, not necessarily. People often allow themselves liberties based upon common knowledge - which little involves individual preference.
The following is a fictitious set of possibilities - some or all of this quite probably occurs more often than anyone can know.
If my name were Samantha but prefer, Sam, and were only addressed as Samantha when parents were upset or trying to scold or punish me, should the parent/guardian have the right to call me Samantha?
Suddenly I am in school (kindergarten?): a teacher decides not to address me as Sam, which I prefer, but Samantha, because there is another Samantha (or Samuel) in the same class who has already been deemed the name Sam. Sadly - the teacher will call me as s/he prefers in any situation. Isn't this sad?
As I grow I seem to prefer the name Samantha - but after working so (damn) hard for folks to address me as Sam, I learned to enjoy the "more serious" connotation of the formal name. So now that I am an adult, I am in the working world. I want to be Samantha (not Sam). Unfortunately for me, another Samantha, who joined the company prior to me has already been deemed that name. So I am Sam - yet eventually, the other Samantha moves on to another position, and I am stuck with the name Sam - yet this little involves me, my person, or my preference.
Sadly, not necessarily. People often allow themselves liberties based upon common knowledge - which little involves individual preference.
The following is a fictitious set of possibilities - some or all of this quite probably occurs more often than anyone can know.
If my name were Samantha but prefer, Sam, and were only addressed as Samantha when parents were upset or trying to scold or punish me, should the parent/guardian have the right to call me Samantha?
Suddenly I am in school (kindergarten?): a teacher decides not to address me as Sam, which I prefer, but Samantha, because there is another Samantha (or Samuel) in the same class who has already been deemed the name Sam. Sadly - the teacher will call me as s/he prefers in any situation. Isn't this sad?
As I grow I seem to prefer the name Samantha - but after working so (damn) hard for folks to address me as Sam, I learned to enjoy the "more serious" connotation of the formal name. So now that I am an adult, I am in the working world. I want to be Samantha (not Sam). Unfortunately for me, another Samantha, who joined the company prior to me has already been deemed that name. So I am Sam - yet eventually, the other Samantha moves on to another position, and I am stuck with the name Sam - yet this little involves me, my person, or my preference.
This message was edited 4/22/2018, 1:58 AM
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This was really interesting to read and I feel drawn to the middle part of your hypothetical scenario since I am a teacher myself.
When I first met my class of kids back in September, I made a point of asking everyone what they preferred to be called (even Grace - nickname proof? - but she might have preferred Gracie.) They're still young, I teach YEAR 2 where they are 6 and turn 7 whilst with me and most of them just shrugged, they haven't figured out that part of their identity yet.
But I'm naturally someone who shortens names, especially in the busy rush of a classroom, Kodi becomes Kode, Abigail becomes Abs (not even Abi sometimes) etc etc. Of course I make sure the children are happy with that, and many of my kids are very fluid anyway, but sometimes I just can't help myself!
Where I don't find myself shortening names is with double-barrelled first names. I have a Tia-Lilly and a Sophie-Rose, that is what I call these girls 90% of the time. Daniella-Mai however, I struggle with (it's a mouthful!), but she came to me as "Dani" and that is what she is called by classmates and other teachers.
When I first met my class of kids back in September, I made a point of asking everyone what they preferred to be called (even Grace - nickname proof? - but she might have preferred Gracie.) They're still young, I teach YEAR 2 where they are 6 and turn 7 whilst with me and most of them just shrugged, they haven't figured out that part of their identity yet.
But I'm naturally someone who shortens names, especially in the busy rush of a classroom, Kodi becomes Kode, Abigail becomes Abs (not even Abi sometimes) etc etc. Of course I make sure the children are happy with that, and many of my kids are very fluid anyway, but sometimes I just can't help myself!
Where I don't find myself shortening names is with double-barrelled first names. I have a Tia-Lilly and a Sophie-Rose, that is what I call these girls 90% of the time. Daniella-Mai however, I struggle with (it's a mouthful!), but she came to me as "Dani" and that is what she is called by classmates and other teachers.
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This is a great post (I mean your original query & subsequent response - really this entire thread).
I am not a teacher, but I have great respect and admiration for what teachers do - the depth of responsibility, and more importantly - the choice to dedicate one's life to the education & fostering of children.
It is not a "big-deal" to shorten names, especially when this occurs during a conversation. I despise the name "Barb" - yet I don't mind at all if someone in the midst of a conversation with another person (perhaps at work or something) says "Barb already took care of that, so why don't you take care of (whatever)". I would not find any disrespect in such a scenario. No-one needs to stop a train of thought to flatter my personal preference. I am not that important - and honestly, I wouldn't want that much attention. To me, it would be a notion of peculiar vanity, or mere pettiness, to hold such an intricate detail as worthy of address. Half of the people named Barbara like to be called Barb - Samantha or Samuel, Sam; William, Will, Bill or Billy. Using other forms of a name is also normal and natural. I can absolutely respect that you have a classroom of children & are judged on each child's ability to learn & grow. At the same time it is wonderful that you offer that much consideration to each child.
I am not a teacher, but I have great respect and admiration for what teachers do - the depth of responsibility, and more importantly - the choice to dedicate one's life to the education & fostering of children.
It is not a "big-deal" to shorten names, especially when this occurs during a conversation. I despise the name "Barb" - yet I don't mind at all if someone in the midst of a conversation with another person (perhaps at work or something) says "Barb already took care of that, so why don't you take care of (whatever)". I would not find any disrespect in such a scenario. No-one needs to stop a train of thought to flatter my personal preference. I am not that important - and honestly, I wouldn't want that much attention. To me, it would be a notion of peculiar vanity, or mere pettiness, to hold such an intricate detail as worthy of address. Half of the people named Barbara like to be called Barb - Samantha or Samuel, Sam; William, Will, Bill or Billy. Using other forms of a name is also normal and natural. I can absolutely respect that you have a classroom of children & are judged on each child's ability to learn & grow. At the same time it is wonderful that you offer that much consideration to each child.
This message was edited 4/22/2018, 8:17 AM
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